Tag Archive | "Singapore"

Shut down casinos on Sunday as mark of respect for Lee Kuan Yew, S’poreans petition government

Shut down casinos on Sunday as mark of respect for Lee Kuan Yew, S’poreans petition government

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Allowing the two venues of sin in the first place was a difficult decision for our former prime minister to make.

mbs

Singaporeans from all walks of life who are mourning the passing of Lee Kuan Yew on an unprecedented scale, have formally written to the government urging them to shut down both casinos on Sunday as a mark of respect for the founding prime minister.

This after it was announced that all Singapore Pools branches, authorised retail outlets and Livewire venues will be closed on Sunday with vice put on hold.

One Singaporean, Kee Puah Keow, said he understands the rationale behind this gesture: “It was a difficult decision for Lee Kuan Yew to make and for him to even consider allowing casinos to operate in Singapore.”

“As we have seen so far, casinos have brought nothing but strive and debt to thousands of people and ruined countless of lives.”

“As a mark of respect, it is imperative for both Marina Bay Sands and Resorts World Sentosa be shut down and have all their revenue for the day donated to charity.”

Another Singaporean, Mei Chu Xi, said the closing down of casinos would be something Lee Kuan Yew would have wanted if he really had his way: “Lee Kuan Yew was an industrious man who believed Singaporeans had to be rugged in order to survive. Casinos are antithetical to what he believed in as it left the fate of Man to the vagaries of chance.”

“To show that we love Lee Kuan Yew, both casinos need to be closed down or else it will sully his good name and show that Singapore is beholden to vice.”

“Why not shut them down for two weeks to show our sincerity to Lee Kuan Yew?”

 

Here’s how to respect Lee Kuan Yew:

Lee Kuan Yew ensures all MPs in attendance for full-house Parliament, a first in a long time

Government underestimated how much S’poreans love Lee Kuan Yew

S’poreans queue 12 hours to pay respects to Lee Kuan Yew: ‘We’ve trained hard queuing for Hello Kitty’

SMRT train along East West Line observed 20 minutes of silence on March 23, 2015

99% of S’poreans found out about LKY’s passing while checking their phone in bed, dreading work on Monday

Experts more harmful than shisha, S’poreans agree

Experts more harmful than shisha, S’poreans agree

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Experts like to pontificate, paid to be biased and don’t know much.

shisha-smoker-singapore

Singaporeans from all walks of life who are immune to nonsense agree collectively that experts are more harmful than shisha.

This after some experts said shisha is more harmful than cigarettes and therefore, its ban in Singapore is justified.

However, Singaporeans who take what experts say with a pinch of salt, said they do so because they know people touted as experts can be asked to comment on certain issues to push or support the official government agenda.

Jiang Fei Hua, a local, said: “Experts are experts for a reason: To justify certain decisions on the government’s behalf that are really political decisions.”

“All these news reports to change your mind is planted by the government agencies. We all know shisha is banned because they don’t bring in enough tax money compared to cigarettes.”

“And the regulation of the shisha industry is not worth the effort because it is so small.”

“If the government and Ministry of Health is really concerned about Singaporeans’ health, they would have banned cigarettes a long time ago. But they didn’t.”

“This sends the message to the people that the government is really pragmatic and practical when it comes to making money.”

 

Singaporeans are smart:

Deep down inside, S’poreans know M1, StarHub & Singtel all equally suck

Cancelling Future Music Festival Asia 2015 bodes well with S’pore’s edgy police state image

Cancelling Future Music Festival Asia 2015 bodes well with S’pore’s edgy police state image

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Police state image more daring and out there, beats hip and vibrant city look.

future-music-festival-asia-2014

Saying how cancelling the Future Music Festival Asia 2015 despite the event selling out 15,000 of the 20,000 tickets was a strategic move to help Singapore maintain its tough police state image, the Ministry of Home Affairs confirmed on March 6, 2015 that a lot of thought was put into this process to ensure the right message was put across.

One person from the authorities, Jin Tua Kee, said denying Future Music Festival Asia’s appeal for a permit had been debated widely internally: “The government wasn’t sure initially if the event was even big enough to ensure there will be public backlash incited.”

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“But we decided that since it had sold 15,000 tickets, enough people will be inconvenienced and this is a stamp of our authority by denying the festival organiser a permit.”

The spokesperson also said that taking drastic steps to show that the government was still boss is an annual affair, as the authorities will always look for things to ban to showcase their draconian ways to the international community.

Jin explained: “In 2014, we had to ban A-Mei’s Rainbow song saying it can spread homosexuality so as to give the government the authoritarian look.”

“Hence, to make sure we can be a constant nanny and police state, we assume that anytime there are large groups of people coming together, there will be drug concerns or homosexual elements.”

The police have also said the authorities always take a calibrated and calculated approach to denial of permits to be more measured in their response.

Zhuo Jin Char, a policeman, said: “Our efforts at clamping down events is two-pronged: One is to showcase to the international community we are a police state by preventing big international acts from performing. The other approach is to take down smaller, local events.”

At press time, the authorities have confirmed they will be monitoring all public events in Singapore including Chingay, 7th month concerts and grassroots events, and will selectively prevent some from happening.

 

Ban everything, Singapore:

S’pore to ban eating in public after banning alcohol consumption in public after 10.30pm

A-Mei’s Rainbow song can spread homosexuality, S’pore authorities warn

Taylor Swift suspected of singing songs mocking S’pore authorities

Future Music Festival Asia might not proceed in S’pore as electronic music can cause drug-taking

Future Music Festival Asia might not proceed in S’pore as electronic music can cause drug-taking

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The police would then be inconvenienced as they have to arrest people and hang them later.

future-music-festival-asia-2015

Singapore looks set to ban live electronic music in public by disallowing Future Music Festival Asia 2015 from being held here after successfully banning eating and alcohol consumption in public after 10.30pm.

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This was after authorities believe drugs can spring a surprise appearance at the FMFA 2015 by circumventing Singapore’s tough anti-drug policing and death penalty laws.

However, Singaporeans who support the ban on electronic music said it is the only logical thing to do.

Xi Du Ping, a local, said: “People who listen to electronic music tend to take drugs. Same as how people who drink alcohol will riot even when they are feeling okay.”

“And when people take drugs, they will become a bum and a strain on society.”

“This will cause the police to be inconvenienced as they have to arrest people. And later on, when found guilty, have to hang them.”

“This will lead to further bad publicity for Singapore internationally, as we’d look like the Taliban for dishing out the death penalty.”

Other Singaporeans who are supportive of the ban said FMFA 2015 is unlike ZoukOut, which is allowed to happen every year.

One local, Jiang Dao Li, said: “ZoukOut is all Singapore needs. Because it is supported by the Singapore Tourism Board.”

 

Ban everything, Singapore:

S’pore to ban eating in public after banning alcohol consumption in public after 10.30pm

A-Mei’s Rainbow song can spread homosexuality, S’pore authorities warn

Taylor Swift suspected of singing songs mocking S’pore authorities

6 events in your life that are more important than getting your A-Level results

6 events in your life that are more important than getting your A-Level results

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Your A-Level results should not determine your life. There are other more important events.

a-level-results

So, you got your A-Level results back on March 2, 2015 and it feels like it is the end of the world?

Don’t be silly, you’re making small things look big. And because there are other things that could really end your world.

Let’s help you put things into perspective. Here are 6 events in your life that are more important than getting your A-Level results.

 

1. Your birth

new-born

If you weren’t born, none of the things that happen would matter because you wouldn’t be there to observe it.

 

2. Your death

funeral-procession

Getting exam results is one thing. Dying is another. It is not the be-all. But it sure is the end-all.

 

3. Choosing a flat that is not beside a columbarium

columbarium-sengkang

Not choosing correctly can cost you a lot of money and probably even your retirement fund. Would you rather get a B for Econs or potentially lose a few hundred thousand dollars?

 

4. Choosing a spouse

wedding-rings

If you don’t choose properly, it could end in divorce and you losing half your assets. That’s worse than a C for Math.

 

5. Getting your university results

nus-results

After your A-Level, you are still a useless person because you don’t have a degree. Therefore, you need to go to university.

And if you fail at university, you would need to take the exams again the next semester and staying back in school for another term is a strain on finances.

Worse, you get expelled for sucking at higher tertiary level.

 

6. Posting a brainless comment on social media that leads to your expulsion from the country after it goes viral

amy-cheong

anton-casey

Worse things can happen later on in life than getting a B for Knowledge and Inquiry.

 

As you can see, there are more important things in life than your A-Level results.

Don’t fret. There are worse things to ruin your day.

 

Here is another thing that is more important than your A-Level results:

6 rainbow buildings in S’pore that have stood up for gay rights

‘From Swamp To Skyscrapers’ narrative ignores the fact that S’pore still has swamps

‘From Swamp To Skyscrapers’ narrative ignores the fact that S’pore still has swamps

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This false narrative gives outsiders the impression that mudskippers stay in high-rise apartments.

skyscrapers-singapore

A recent BBC article framed Singapore’s journey in the last 50 years as one about going from “swamp to skyscrapers”.

A lot of Singaporeans from all walks of life are familiar with this narrative.

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However, if we stopped to think, we’d realise that this narrative paints a false picture of what life is really like in Singapore.

Because, the truth is, Singapore in 2015, still has swamps. Gasp!

By insisting on the “From Swamp To Skyscrapers” narrative, what we are doing is send a wrong message to outsiders beyond Singapore’s shores: We are effectively telling foreigners that the water monitor lizard, mudskipper and Great Egret do not live in the swamps here but in high-rise apartments.

When we do that, what we are doing is effectively whitewashing the biodiversity and the countless species of flora and fauna that live at the intersection of freshwater and saltwater habitats.

Have we considered what Sungei Buloh Wetland Reserve would feel?

Or Pasir Ris Park? Nee Soon Swamp Forest?

How about Chek Jawa?

By continuing to perpetuate this false narrative to create a false consciousness, we will inflict symbolic violence on innocent habitats.

Therefore, we need to stick with the “From Swamps To Skyscrapers With Pockets Of Swamps” narrative for a new beginning to dawn.

 

What lies beneath Singapore?:

Govt seeking refund from feng shui masters as S’pore Flyer still bankrupt

SG50 changed to SG700 after Empress Place archeological dig reveals S’pore was founded 700 years ago

Private tutors in S’pore must pass compulsory exams to show mastery of the subjects they teach

Private tutors in S’pore must pass compulsory exams to show mastery of the subjects they teach

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Or else, they cannot get license to teach tuition.

private-tutor-singapore

Singapore looks set to pass a law to require private tuition teachers to take and pass compulsory exams in subjects they teach to show that they have mastery over their knowledge and are up to date with the national school syllabus.

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This move comes after Singaporeans mooted the idea for Ministry of Education teachers to take national exams to prove that they have what it takes to do well in subjects they teach, before they are allowed to step into classrooms.

Private tutors who fail to get distinction in the subjects they teach will not be issued a license. Those who get below distinction will be asked to attend remedial classes.

Those who fail will be demanded to change professions and go into other economy-enhancing professions, such tourism or working in the casinos.

One Singaporean tutor, Qi Bu Xi, said she is delighted at this news as it will cause an attrition of the number of private tuition teachers with only the best surviving: “I appreciate how the government is looking out for us private tutors, as these compulsory exams will cause only those exam-savvy ones to be retained and earn the bulk of the money.”

“Plus, the private tuition industry needs to be licensed as there are many tutors out there who don’t contribute CPF and pay taxes annually as they do not declare their income.”

“A licensing scheme will also allow a better differentiation between those tutors who can make it and those who cannot make it.”

“The next step is accreditation, where tutors who score better on the compulsory exam are allowed to charge more for their services.”

“It is a win-win situation for the government and the people.”

 

Tuition will lead to life-long dependency on assistance:

Students must be self-reliant, private tuition to be made illegal next year

S’pore feels less crowded like in the 1990s as 1 million foreigners went back home for CNY

S’pore feels less crowded like in the 1990s as 1 million foreigners went back home for CNY

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Everything appears so calm and normal these past two days.

cny-singapore-empty

Waves of nostalgia has hit Singaporeans from all walks of life these past two days of Chinese New Year celebrations, as many locals said they are experiencing 1990s conditions where there were much lesser people in Singapore.

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This after an estimated 1 million foreigners left Singapore the past week to go back to their home countries to celebrate Chinese New Year, with commerce and businesses grinding to a halt as an eerie calm has overtaken the country.

One Singaporean, Guo Xing Nian, said there is an appreciable change in atmosphere as the streets are less crowded and even the roads have become more empty: “Really feels like the 1990s where there were less people. The whole place seems to have a sense of normality and calm that I’ve not experienced at any other time throughout the year.”

“No feelings of claustrophobia at all.”

Other Singaporeans noted that this decline in the number of people in the country has improved living conditions as there has been a lesser need to fight for available space and the frenetic pace of everyday living has slowed down considerably.

Xiang Tong Nian, another local said he was surprised that this change is so noticeable, even though he has all along been well aware that Singapore has been reliant on foreigners: “This just means that the number of people on an island has severe repercussions on livability.”

“Singapore should really have more Chinese New Year public holidays then. It will be good for everybody as there will be more days of emptiness.”

“We could really use a bit of that.”

 

This Chinese New Year, there was a lot of fun:

S’porean couples struggle to conceal rope burn marks as CNY reunion dinner cuts too close to 50 Shades V-Day weekend

S’porean man really didn’t get anything for his girlfriend for Valentine’s Day

S’porean man really didn’t get anything for his girlfriend for Valentine’s Day

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He actually believed his girlfriend when she said she didn’t want anything.

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A woman was increasingly visibly upset with her boyfriend on Valentine’s Day on Saturday.

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Ad by Wikiproperty.co (Singapore)

This occurred after he really didn’t buy her anything for the occasion because he really believed her when she said she didn’t want anything the week before.

Zhen Yuan Wang, the boyfriend, said: “I really had no idea what she said is not what she meant. She said to me a week before Valentine’s Day she didn’t want anything? So what was I supposed to believe?”

“Some days she said she didn’t want to have sex and she really meant it during those times.”

Other men who are familiar with this situation can only shake their heads and offer their condolences.

Hong Kan Leow, a man who had the same thing happened to him last year, said: “I was very excited at first because I thought my girlfriend was different.”

“But I guess that’s the price you pay for thinking like a normal man.”

 

This is love in Singapore:

S’porean couples say Valentine’s Day good time to relive good old days when they first got together, free from problems

 

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S’pore lion dance troupes practising piano renditions of tunes as ban on drums could be extended

S’pore lion dance troupes practising piano renditions of tunes as ban on drums could be extended

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They are willing to cope with string instruments as long as Singapore is safe and harmonious.

lion-dance-piano

Lion dance troupes in Singapore are putting their trademark drum sets and cymbals away, starting this Chinese New Year.

Instead of relying on loud banging and crashing sounds during performances that could potentially flout the law, many dance troupes said they will start practising piano renditions of classic lion dance tunes to keep up with Singapore’s anti-drumming laws.

Singapore, this past week, arrested three people during Thaipusam because they were doing something against the law.

Wu Shi, one of the leading lion dance troupe members, said he is not worried that choreographing dance moves using piano tunes will change the feel of the performance and an abandonment of tradition: “The news of drums being banned during Thaipusam making the rounds these few days has made us realised that drums are potentially violent instruments that can unleash the baser instincts in humans.”

“As we are aware that drumming could be banned in other areas as they can be deemed to potentially flout the law, we have taken the first step of keeping up with the times by using pianos instead.”

“Furthermore, it is not fair to make Indians feel privileged in Singapore by banning drumming. All races must face bans when it comes to drumming, so that all races can feel privileged at the same time.”

At press time, concert organisers in Singapore have confirmed that all live acts performing in Singapore from this month onward will have to do so without percussion or any identifiable drum kit.

 

It’s all about the bass no drums:

Backstreet Boys renamed Backstreet Uncles to abide by S’pore’s strict anti-false advertising laws

Public drinking prohibitions not effective as 3 men arrested at Thaipusam still smelt of alcohol

 

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