Tag Archive | "problems"

General Election 2015 causes S’poreans to run out of problems

General Election 2015 causes S’poreans to run out of problems

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You have a problem? Consider it solved.

You got a problem? Don’t worry. Consider it solved.

You got a problem? Don’t worry. Consider it solved.

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who are used to dealing with daily issues of all sorts that have plagued the country the last few years, are suddenly discovering that they are running out of problems.

This after the General Election 2015 is causing their problems to be solved one after another at an alarming unprecedented rate.

One Singaporean, Mei Wen Ti, said: “Suddenly, Sembawang residents wake up one fine morning and discover that they are having a new hawker centre and swimming complex built right in their neighbourhood to deal with the fact they didn’t have access to these basic amenities for years.”

“It is like they used to have 99 problems but now they have none.”

“And then two constituencies that are home to Singapore’s oldest estates, Jalan Besar and Tanjong Pagar, are set to be spruced up over the next five years as both town councils suddenly unveiled master plans to rejuvenate the estates.”

“It’s like waking up one fine morning and then, ‘Woah, what the hell just hit me? Solutions!'”

Other Singaporeans said these influx of solutions to age-old problems have reaffirmed their belief that having elections every year is the way to go.

This is to bring about a better standard of living and quality of life for Singaporeans and the good times will continue rolling as long as Singaporeans head to the polls regularly.

Another resident, Boh Dai Ji, said: “My neighbour, was in arrears, and HDB cancelled his outstanding debt.”

“My son, fail all subjects in Primary 3, and still can go CC collect bursary award.”

“Holding elections is, therefore, the most effective way for residents’ issues to be addressed. All GRCs and SMCs should have elections every year.”

“Otherwise, all problems will be put on the back-burner, as Singapore only focuses on economic growth at all costs.”






S’porean couples say Valentine’s Day good time to relive good old days when they first got together, free from problems

S’porean couples say Valentine’s Day good time to relive good old days when they first got together, free from problems

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It really takes them back, they say.


Singaporean couples from all walks of life who are out and about on Feb. 14, 2015 celebrating Valentine’s Day via extravagant public displays of affection and avarice, announced that this one day in the year really takes them back to their early days of dating where they were free from relationship problems.

One couple attributed this new love feeling on this day to the fact that the two people in the relationship have little choice but to behave civilly in front of other couples out and about on V Day, who are also keeping their instincts of lashing out at their significant other in check.

Tao Yan Ni, a local man, said Valentine’s Day is the best day for him as he gets to keep his disdain for his girlfriend of four years under wraps by subjugating those feelings of natural disgust he has for her under the guise of playful pre-pubescent gushing: “Valentine’s Day is great because it is the one day in the whole year she has to behave civilly towards me in public and keep up with appearances.”

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“You have no idea how liberating it is on V Day to push back these impulses of raising my voice and telling her I had enough of her antics and self-centredness like I do every other day.”

“I’m pretty sure this feeling is mutual.”

Other couples said delaying blowing up and quarrelling in full view of others until February 15th is what makes Cupid’s Day so special for them.

Lai Sio Pah, a Singaporean woman in her 30s, said: “A lot of seething anger goes unresolved on February 14th every year, but this day really takes your mind off fighting because me and my boyfriend acknowledge it as the internationally recognised day of truce.”

“It really allows each of us to mull over our own hatred for the other person in private, instead of shouting it out loud and throwing things on the floor like we usually do.”

“Plus, it is amazing how reminding ourselves that others are watching us as we head out in public can turn both of us into lovey dovey 20-year-olds all over again.”

However, this experience is not restricted to couples who are still dating and not married yet

Having had several extra-marital affairs behind her husband’s back and being found out once, Neng Tuah Liap said Valentine’s Day spent with her spouse in public now still takes her back to the days when they first got together, lost in each other’s goo goo eyes and smiles and without the guilt: “Having our unresolved problems accumulated over the years put on the backburner on V Day has given us a glimpse of what it is like to be really in love, something we’ve not felt in ages.”

“This is what I imagine truly happy couples to feel in their day-to-day lives.”

At press time, truly happy couples who are really in love are reportedly avoiding putting up a front on Valentine’s Day and staying clear of the crowds outdoors by staying in and pampering their significant other with home cooked food, a massage and being playful under the sheets, like they always do the rest of the 364 days a year.


This is to help everyone fall in love on Valentine’s Day:

Serina Wee GIFs prove God exists, ends 2,000-year-old debate


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