Tag Archive | "Prime Minister"

PM Lee replaced by automated bot as inefficient human successor phased out

PM Lee replaced by automated bot as inefficient human successor phased out

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Singapore phasing out redundant roles.

pm-lee-bot



Singaporeans from all walks of life, who are aware of the increasing redundancy of their roles in a country where soon everything will be automated including citizens, are at peace with the leadership succession process.

This after it was revealed that the new fourth prime minister after Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong will be automated and taken over by a bot.

One Singaporean, Ke Ji, said: “This is a natural process of attrition, redundancy and replacement.”

“A lot of sectors in Singapore’s economy is already facing the prospect of automation and outsourcing of roles to bots that can do a better, more credible and efficient job than humans, who are error-prone and emotional.”

“If manufacturing and service sectors can be automated, so can our prime minister as he is also just another cog in this well-oiled Singapore Inc. machine.”

Drawbacks

However, other locals are worried that an automated bot replacement prime minister will have drawbacks, such as being too efficient to the extent that citizens who are flesh and blood cannot keep up.

Another local, Hong Gan Leow, said: “If PM Lee Hsien Loong has been replaced by a bot, it would mean that there will be a gain in efficiency and a lowering of costs.”

“The net effect would be that Singaporeans by and large will notice any fractures towards a higher order of governance during this transition to automation of leadership, even though the chasm between a sentient PM Lee and non-sentient being can at times be too close to differentiate.”

“The next natural consequence would be to automate the entire Cabinet and make redundant the elite political class, followed by the elimination of fussy, ultra slow and deliberative parliamentarians who take too long to come to decisions in a fast-paced globalised world.”

“This will lead to a marked increase in objectivity.”

“Lastly, Singaporeans as a whole must be replaced by bots and Singapore can be a city entire comprised of bots from leaders to serfs.”

“Then Singapore can be called Singabot.”

 





S’poreans compromise: Tharman to be PM, Lee Hsien Loong can be AM

S’poreans compromise: Tharman to be PM, Lee Hsien Loong can be AM

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Citizens regard this decision as final.

pm-am



Singaporeans from all walks of life, who believe they are fair and square, are clasping their hands in front of them and looking mighty pleased with themselves after coming to a win-win deal.

This after they negotiated amongst themselves as citizens with rights, a compromise that would see Tharman Shanmugaratnam become PM, while Lee Hsien Loong will be AM.

One Singaporean, Xi Kan, said: “By making Tharman a PM, Singaporeans from all walks of life are fulfilling a long-standing wish.”

“As we as citizens also understand that there cannot be two PMs in Singapore, we have unanimously decided to make Lee Hsien Loong an AM instead.”

“This bodes well as Tharman can take the afternoon shift — that’s why it is called PM — and Lee Hsien Loong will be transferred to the morning shift, which is why he is AM. This will be a transition period before Tharman becomes full prime minister.”

“It just so happens there is AM and PM in the 24-hour cycle, so this is a good coincidence.”

Other Singaporeans felt the distinction is clear and reflects the current status of Tharman and Lee.

One local, Boh Xiang, said: “I think PM Tharman and AM Lee makes perfect sense contrary to some quarters who are apologising that the distinction is too convenient.”

“It is clear that PM Tharman stands for Prime Minister Tharman. Therefore, AM Lee stands for Already Minister Lee.”

“See, so simple.”

 

 





S’pore less racist as only 5 Chinese men vying for prime minister role now

S’pore less racist as only 5 Chinese men vying for prime minister role now

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A sharp increase in diversity overnight.

pap-5-chinese-men-pm



Singaporeans from all walks of life, who recognise racism and understand math, are clapping their hands in delight as the country became more egalitarian overnight.

This after Minister Tan Chuan-Jin has been chosen to become the new Speaker of Parliament, effectively reducing the number of Chinese men vying for the prime minister role from six to five immediately.

This streamlining represents a one-sixth reduction in racism in Singapore as there is one less Chinese man vying for the prime minister role.

One Singaporean, Hua Ren, said: “This is a step forward for Singapore society. This reduction in Chinese men shows Singapore is becoming more equal and it is a testament to our multi-ethnic make-up.”

“There is nowhere else in the world you can find such diversity and multiculturalism on display.”

However, other locals said naysayers might use this opportunity to downplay Singapore’s commitment to diversity and insist this is a form of tokenism.

Another local, Tng Lang, said: “There will be those who will still insist these five men in the running for the prime minister role are wholly Chinese.”

“They will play up the race politics that serves to undermine Singapore’s credibility and take away credence from Singapore’s system that is based on meritocracy and not skin colour.”

“Because if we look closely at all these five Chinese men, we can clearly see they are nothing but diversity, as they can represent minority women, underprivileged and working class in them.”

“Those who see them as Chinese are the racist ones.”

 

 





PAP MPs to praise PM Lee’s achievements during July 3 Parliament about Lee family feud

PAP MPs to praise PM Lee’s achievements during July 3 Parliament about Lee family feud

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They seek to give him validation.

pap-mp-ask-hard-question

Singaporeans from a particular walk of life, as they are PAP MPs from the elite establishment, are sweating.

This is so as they are writing long parliament speeches to praise Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong.

This after PM Lee said he will be giving a Ministerial Statement on July 3 and all MPs are invited to ask tough questions but they will use this opportunity to praise their boss instead.

One Singaporean, Jiang Hao Hua, said: “This is a test by the boss for his subordinates. Those who really on that day ask tough questions, will just get fired.”

“Those who are smart, will show up that day well-prepared to praise PM Lee for his hard work and contributions to Singapore.”

Other locals said PAP MPs who do ask hard questions are probably the politically immature.

Another local, Xian Shi, said: “You need to be realistic. Where got subordinates question their boss in public and expect to get away scot-free.”

“Do you think this is a democracy?”

 

 





Cannot remove race categorisation as S’pore needs a Chinese Prime Minister

Cannot remove race categorisation as S’pore needs a Chinese Prime Minister

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If removed, then there will be no one to lead Singapore.

pm-lee-mandate

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who can see that easy labels can be employed as political tools, have been told that Singapore is not ready to do away with race categorisation that puts people into the four major racial groups.

This after locals said they can see where this idea is coming from as Singapore still needs a Chinese Prime Minister to lead the country and the President must be from a minority race.

One Singaporean, Ng Sek, said: “It’s very easy if you disregard race and religion. You have, say, a general election, no racial classification and so on, but what you may end up having is a Parliament where there is no Chinese prime minister.”

“Yes, we can say we do away with race categorisation and Tharman can be prime minister and president, but is that what the Chinese prime minister wants? The Chinese prime minister is not ready for that.”

Other locals said race categorisation will ensure all races can deploy one representative for each racial group to ensure fairness when all are equally represented.

Another local, Tng Lang, said: “Yes, classification ensures Singaporeans are always conscious of each other and reach out to one another.”

“Representatives from each group: One Chinese, one Malay, one Indian and one Other.”

“When all are equally represented, the prime minister will be Chinese.”

“It makes you a bit uncomfortable at first. But that is what I think brings everyone together ultimately.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





Some ministers wondering why no one brought up their name as next PM material

Some ministers wondering why no one brought up their name as next PM material

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They want to do that Oscars ceremony thing where they can act surprised at winning.

singapore-parliament-mps

As speculation continues to proliferate in the media as to who will be the next chief of Singapore, several ministers have admitted to themselves they feel sad their names have not been brought up publicly as the next prime minister material.

One minister reportedly thought to himself: “Every time I hear PM Lee talk about succession plans and how the next prime minister might already be in parliament now, I secretly fantasise that he is talking about me and will be unveiling me as his protege to everyone’s surprise and chagrin when the time comes.”

“Like ‘Hey, I was here all along and you guys snubbed me because you thought I’d have amounted to nothing’.”

Another minister reportedly regularly fantasises about how he would pick up a call one day from Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong, who would inform him he is the top choice: “I know it is down to six Chinese men who represent the best of Singapore’s multi-racial society. But one can hope against all hope it could be me.”

“That is one of my fantasies.”

“I imagine it like what you see during the Oscar ceremony where they are announcing the Best Actor and everyone is being cool and composed before the winner’s name is read and when you don’t get chosen you still have to keep a straight face.”

However, Singaporeans by-and-large said it is not hard to foretell who will be the next prime minister.

One local, Tng Lang, said: “By default, if you’re Chinese and you’re a man, you stand a better chance already.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





Difficult to remove race categorisation as S’pore still needs a Chinese Prime Minister

Difficult to remove race categorisation as S’pore still needs a Chinese Prime Minister

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If removed, then there will be no one to lead Singapore.

pm-lee-mandate

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who can see that easy labels can be employed as political tools, have been told that Singapore is not ready to do away with race categorisation that puts people into the four major racial groups.

Locals said they can see where this idea is coming from as Singapore still needs a Chinese Prime Minister to lead the country and the President can be from the minority race just because.

One Singaporean, Ng Sek, said: “It’s very easy if you disregard race and religion. You have, say, a general election, no racial classification and so on, but what you may end up having is a Parliament where there is no Chinese prime minister.”

“Yes, we can say we do away with race categorisation and Tharman can be prime minister and president, but is that what the Chinese prime minister wants? The Chinese prime minister is not ready for that.”

Other locals said race categorisation will ensure all races can deploy one representative for each racial group to ensure fairness when all are equally represented.

Another local, Tng Lang, said: “Yes, classification ensures Singaporeans are always conscious of each other and reach out to one another.”

“Representatives from each group: One Chinese, one Malay, one Indian and one Other.”

“When all are equally represented, the prime minister will be Chinese.”

“It makes you a bit uncomfortable at first. But that is what I think brings everyone together ultimately.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





6 Chinese men vying to be Prime Minister a testament to S’pore’s multi-racial society

6 Chinese men vying to be Prime Minister a testament to S’pore’s multi-racial society

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Only in a diverse country will you get candidates from such diverse backgrounds.

pap-6-chinese-men-pm

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who can see diversity in Chinese people, said they are glad that six Chinese men are vying to be the next prime minister of Singapore.

This after it can be gleaned from multiple reports that Singapore needs a minority race President, but not a minority race Prime Minister, because that’s how things work in Singapore.

One Singaporean, Ma Lai Ren, said: “All these Chinese men, if any of them do become prime minister, can speak for Malays, Indians and Others.”

“One look at them, I can tell they are very versatile. They are unlike the President who must be of minority race or who is not Tan Cheng Bock, or else, cannot make the non-Chinese feel represented.”

Such is their strong support base, Singaporeans in favour of the six Chinese men have since come out to speak well of them.

Another local, Hua Ren, said: “One look I can tell these Chinese men have many friends from the minority races.”

“Therefore, they must know what it is like to be in their shoes. Let’s not be racist and just look at their yellow skin colour but the true diversity that lies inside each one of them.”

“Truly a testament to Singapore’s multi-racial society.”

However, some locals point out that there might be downsides to having so many Chinese men vying for the prime minister spot.

One local, Bu Li Xiang, said: “Non-Chinese people will feel that the Prime Minister role is more important and glamorous as a lot of Chinese people are vying for it.”

“On the other hand, fewer Chinese people are vying for the presidency, which makes it less prestigious.”

“So, if a candidate from a minority race is elected to be president, they will still feel it is not enough, unless it is the prime minister role.”

“Therefore, Tharman should be both president and prime minister of Singapore at the same time and this will satisfy everybody.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





S’poreans agree they need a minority race Prime Minister next without naming names

S’poreans agree they need a minority race Prime Minister next without naming names

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He is somebody who is Indian, a bit bald, tall and wears glasses.

tharman-shanmugaratnam-next-pm

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who cannot believe their eyes when they took a look at who is in the running for the next prime minister position in Singapore, all agree they need a minority race prime minister next.

This after the six leaders touted to have a chance of taking over the PM role are all Chinese and boring.

One Singaporean, Yin Du Ren, said: “I don’t know about other Singaporeans, but we can all agree the next prime minister is someone who is tall, a bit balding and wears glasses.”

“We all have this feeling he must be an Indian, although we don’t name names at this point.”

Other locals said the unspoken name of the minority race candidate with the most potential rolls off their tongue easily.

Another local, Zuo Zong Li, said: “He gives the PAP a good name. He is proof that talent is unevenly distributed in the party.”

“He is the only reason there is still hope for the PAP.”

“Even though his official title might be DPM, in my heart and mind, he is my prime minister.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





PM Lee must stop Facebook postings during office hours once Internet cut off for public servants

PM Lee must stop Facebook postings during office hours once Internet cut off for public servants

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He must set a good example.

pm-lee-using-computer

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who believe in fairness and leading by example, are calling on Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong to stop posting updates on Facebook, especially after May 2017 when the Internet is cut off for public servants.

One Singaporean, Mian Bu, said this is so as it will set a precedent: “Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong is the foremost public servant in Singapore. His actions will set the example for the hundreds of thousands of public servants who would follow his cue.”

“It is of utmost importance that he does not post updates on his Facebook page during office hours as he should not have access to the Internet using government computers.”

“And even if he does post on Facebook using his own device, it would signal he is using his own Internet data to post, which is also not good, as he should not be social networking during office hours where he is compensated with taxpayers’ money.”

However, other Singaporeans said dictating how the prime minister should act during office hours is not a natural right of citizens.

Tou Piao, another local, said: “We need to put this issue up for a referendum.”

“The two choices are: ‘PM Lee must not post Facebook updates during office hours’ or ‘PM Lee must compensate taxpayers for posting Facebook updates during office hours’.”

“These two choices resemble the referendum asking citizens to decide if Singapore should merge with Malaysia, where there was no choice to vote against the merger.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





S’poreans react to PM Lee hitting 1 million Facebook Likes on his page

S’poreans react to PM Lee hitting 1 million Facebook Likes on his page

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Three thoughts that must have went past your mind at some point.

pm-lee-1-million-likes

Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong’s has reached 1 million Likes on his Facebook page.

He achieved the milestone during his week-long trip to the United States. The page crossed the mark on Wednesday, Feb. 17 evening.

In a post on Thursday afternoon, PM Lee said he had just returned to Singapore and was “surprised” to find that his page had more than a million likes.

Here are three thoughts Singaporeans have:

 

sian-half-auntie “I would die for one million Facebook Likes instead of for Singapore.”
Xian Shi, 44-year-old philosopher

 

sian-half-uncle “Roy Ngerng can sue because clearly his blog posts did not harm PM Lee’s popularity.”
Shang Fa Ting, 65-year-old court clerk

 

happy-bird-girl “Lee Kuan Yew was still the better prime minister despite having zero Facebook Likes.”
Lee Zhong Li, 19-year-old class president

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans successfully rename Lee Hsien Loong as 1 Lee Kuan Yew Son

S’poreans successfully rename Lee Hsien Loong as 1 Lee Kuan Yew Son

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This shows that Singaporeans embrace creativity.

pm-lee-mandate

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who embrace creativity by coming up with imaginative names, have successfully renamed Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong as 1 Lee Kuan Yew Son.

This after they learnt that creativity can be expressed by renaming Compass Point shopping mall as 1 Sengkang Mall in a bid to showcase a flair in thinking out of the box.

One Singaporean, Gai Ming Zi, said: “Singaporeans are beginning to embrace the culture of being more creative by performing their own name changes and they are doing this out of their own volition.”

“Therefore, a group of Singaporeans have decided to rename Lee Hsien Loong as 1 Lee Kuan Yew Son, following the rich culture established and precedent set by 1 Sengkang Mall.”

Other Singaporeans said the name change will mark a shift in thinking about 1 Lee Kuan Yew Son.

Chuan Tong, another local, said: “We Singaporeans took a long time to conceptualise and approve of this new name.”

“To name him as 1 Lee Kuan Yew Son will better help younger Singaporeans situate him within a historical context so that we don’t forget his roots.”

At press time, there are plans to rename President Tony Tan as 1 Popularly Elected President Who Barely Won The Popular Vote By A Few Votes.

 

 

 

 

 











Blogger to pay $150,000 in damages in monthly payouts of $50, after PM Lee turns 65

Blogger to pay $150,000 in damages in monthly payouts of $50, after PM Lee turns 65

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Compensation for damages to be settled according to how CPF functions.

roy-ngerng-bw

A new compensation scheme has been worked out for the blogger who has been successfully sued by Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong for writing lengthy blog posts.

Another self-designated lawyer, who is not M Ravi, has worked out a payment scheme for the blogger to make compensation.

The lawyer, Kong Chee Kim, said: “Since Roy Ngerng has been ordered to pay $150,000 in damages, he has worked out a method to disburse the sum as monthly payouts of $50.”

“And this monthly payout will only start when PM Lee hits 65 years old, which is in two years’ time in 2017.”

“In the meantime, the blogger will pay an interest rate that is slightly lower than the annual inflation rate per year for holding on to the $150,000 sum until 2017.”

“But the blogger must also ensure that he is always holding on to $150,000 minimum sum and any payout will only be possible, if it is above this sum.”

“And when PM Lee hits 65, the age limit could be changed to 67.”

 

 

 

 

 











Some PAP ministers still secretly harbouring fantasies about being picked as next PM

Some PAP ministers still secretly harbouring fantasies about being picked as next PM

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They want to do that Oscars ceremony thing where they can act surprised at winning.

singapore-parliament-mps

As speculation continues to proliferate in the media about who will be the next chief of Singapore, several PAP ministers have admitted it has always been a fantasy of theirs to be the prime minister even though they are hardly qualified.

One of the ministers who did not want to give his name, said: “Every time I hear PM Lee talk about succession plans and how the next prime minister might already be in parliament now, I secretly fantasise that he is talking about me and will be unveiling me as his protege to everyone’s surprise and chagrin when the time comes.”

“Like ‘Hey, I was here all along and you guys snubbed me because you thought I’d have amounted to nothing’.”

Another minister, who also didn’t want to reveal his full name, said he fantasises about how he would pick up a call one day from Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong, who would inform him he is the top choice: “I know it is down to Ng Chee Meng and Chan Chun Sing. But one can hope against all hope it could be me.”

“That is one of my fantasies.”

“I imagine it like what you see during the Oscar ceremony where they are announcing the Best Actor and everyone is being cool and composed before the winner’s name is read and when you don’t get chosen you still have to keep a straight face.”

However, Singaporeans by-and-large said it is not hard to foretell who will be the next prime minister.

One local, Tng Lang, said: “By default, if you’re Chinese and you’re a man, you stand a better chance already.”

“But deep in our hearts, regardless of who PM Lee picks, Tharman Shanmugaratnam will always be our prime minister.”

 

 

 

 

 





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