Tag Archive | "PAP"

S’poreans agree with PM Lee that govt can be criticised as long as it’s not critical

S’poreans agree with PM Lee that govt can be criticised as long as it’s not critical

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This will better allow the government to focus on what they want to hear.

lee-hsien-loong-criticism

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who only hear the good stuff, have come out to agree with Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong.

This after PM Lee said at an event with technology industry people that the government in Singapore can take criticism as long as it is from people they can have a productive disagreement with.

One Singaporean, Pi Ping, said locals agree that criticism of the government and PAP is allowed as long as it is not critical: “For example, you cannot say ‘the government is lousy’ or ‘there is too much focus on economics at the expense of other areas’.”

“What you must say is, ‘The PAP is doing everything they can for Singapore and without them the country will collapse into ruin.”

“This is the kind of criticism the PAP understands.”

Other Singaporeans said trying to blame the PAP for a poor press freedom and overly tight controls on individual liberties is not the way to go about things as they will not understand.

Another local, Jin Ho Tia, said: “If you tell the PAP, ‘Singapore needs more freedom so that the population can be more autonomous and creative and a bit of rebellion is good’, they will not comprehend a single word.”

“What you must say is, ‘The PAP is the best government in the world as they do their best for the people because there is no other political party that can do likewise’.”

“And then you must also say, ‘The government can only provide for the people if the people works with them’.”

“This is the type of criticism they like so that they can focus on what they want to hear. Everything else is one ear in, one ear out.”

At press time, the government has registered some of these criticisms they want to hear.

 

 

 

 

 

 





PAP town councils raise conservancy charges signal next election still 3 years away

PAP town councils raise conservancy charges signal next election still 3 years away

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By then, everyone would have forgotten.

pap-town-councils

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who know how to read signs and understand how Singapore works, are clearly aware the next General Election is still three years away.

This after 15 PAP town councils will increase service and conservancy charges (S&CC) from June 1, 2017, giving the populace a good few years to forget this ever happened before heading to the polls again.

One Singaporean, Wang Ji, said: “When conservancy charges get raised, you know we are not even at the mid-point between two general elections.”

“From the looks of it, the next General Election will be held in late 2020. Mark my words.”

Other locals said such tactics must be made into an academic subject as governance these days is all about such hands-on, practical approaches rather than outmoded and high-highfalutin ideas of what governance is.

Another local, Heng Lui, said: “Many people think good governance is doing the right thing for the people and putting people first.”

“The truth is, governance is about doing shitty things to people but ensuring most people forget when the time comes to vote.”

“Singapore has pioneered this method and we can export it overseas.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





Only PAP can rule S’pore forever

Only PAP can rule S’pore forever

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No other party, period.

pap-rule-singapore-forever

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who recognise power is a form of aphrodisiac, are nodding in agreement.

This after they agree that only the PAP can rule Singapore forever and any talk of a two-party or multi-party system will lead to the ultimate destruction of Singapore.

One Singaporean, Jin Gong Ping, said: “PAP is a pluralistic political party.”

“They are doing a great job representing the diverse segments of Singaporean society and presenting all sides of the argument.”

“I can see that clearly when they have six Chinese men vying to be the next prime minister. Very diverse and egalitarian.”

Other locals said the PAP is all about putting Singaporeans first.

Another local, Fang Qian Mian, said: “PAP is a political party that will be there for you, always.”

“One moment can be Son of Punggol, next moment can be Son of Ang Mo Kio.”

“It’s like they are omnipresent.”

Still more locals concur the PAP is raising the stakes of the competition.

Another local, Fan Dui Dang, said: “They will say, anyone who is willing and able, can challenge their incumbency.”

“But that is true as long as you’re not the Workers’ Party.”

“You can always go far in Singapore serving the PAP’s interest, which coincidentally also happens to be Singapore’s interest.”

“A two-party or multi-party arrangement will result in the death and destruction of everything in this country.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





6 Chinese men vying to be Prime Minister a testament to S’pore’s multi-racial society

6 Chinese men vying to be Prime Minister a testament to S’pore’s multi-racial society

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Only in a diverse country will you get candidates from such diverse backgrounds.

pap-6-chinese-men-pm

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who can see diversity in Chinese people, said they are glad that six Chinese men are vying to be the next prime minister of Singapore.

This after it can be gleaned from multiple reports that Singapore needs a minority race President, but not a minority race Prime Minister, because that’s how things work in Singapore.

One Singaporean, Ma Lai Ren, said: “All these Chinese men, if any of them do become prime minister, can speak for Malays, Indians and Others.”

“One look at them, I can tell they are very versatile. They are unlike the President who must be of minority race or who is not Tan Cheng Bock, or else, cannot make the non-Chinese feel represented.”

Such is their strong support base, Singaporeans in favour of the six Chinese men have since come out to speak well of them.

Another local, Hua Ren, said: “One look I can tell these Chinese men have many friends from the minority races.”

“Therefore, they must know what it is like to be in their shoes. Let’s not be racist and just look at their yellow skin colour but the true diversity that lies inside each one of them.”

“Truly a testament to Singapore’s multi-racial society.”

However, some locals point out that there might be downsides to having so many Chinese men vying for the prime minister spot.

One local, Bu Li Xiang, said: “Non-Chinese people will feel that the Prime Minister role is more important and glamorous as a lot of Chinese people are vying for it.”

“On the other hand, fewer Chinese people are vying for the presidency, which makes it less prestigious.”

“So, if a candidate from a minority race is elected to be president, they will still feel it is not enough, unless it is the prime minister role.”

“Therefore, Tharman should be both president and prime minister of Singapore at the same time and this will satisfy everybody.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





PAP’s Murali declares: ‘I am K. Muralidharan Pillai s/o P.K. Pillai’

PAP’s Murali declares: ‘I am K. Muralidharan Pillai s/o P.K. Pillai’

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This signals by-election campaign has come full-circle.

murali-pillai-so-pk-pillai

Bukit Batok residents from all walks of life, who believe in relying on strategic decisions to get ahead in life, are nodding their heads and agreeing.

This after the Bukit Batok by-election PAP candidate Murali Pillai declared: “I am K. Muralidharan Pillai s/o P.K. Pillai.”

Residents said going from “Murali Pillai” to “K. Muralidharan Pillai s/o P.K. Pillai” will further endear the PAP candidate contesting in the Bukit Batok by-election to the minority voters, since he has already gone so far as naming himself, “Mura Lee”, “Mur Ali” and “Michael Paul”.

One Bukit Batok resident, Didi Wah Mia, said: “Since we’re already down this slippery slope of no return where Murali has become everything else, it is nice to see that he has come back to calling himself K. Muralidharan Pillai s/o P.K. Pillai.”

“It will appeal to the rest of the voters he hasn’t reached out to.”

Other Singaporeans said this strategic pandering bodes well for K. Muralidharan Pillai s/o P.K. Pillai as it is difficult these days contesting in elections as the incumbent.

Yuan Quan, another local, said: “This shows the by-election campaign has really come full circle.”

 

 

 

 

 





S’poreans praise PAP Sim Ann for not personally attacking Chee Soon Juan yet

S’poreans praise PAP Sim Ann for not personally attacking Chee Soon Juan yet

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They are impressed she hasn’t chut pattern.

sim-ann-chut-pattern

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who believe in miracles, are clapping their hands and shaking their heads from left to right.

This after they have not seen PAP’s Sim Ann personally attack Singapore Democratic Party’s Bukit Batok by-election candidate Chee Soon Juan yet.

One Singaporean, Hor Yee See, said: “I was waiting a long time for her to chut pattern.”

“It has been seven days of hustings and she really maintain this time.”

“Maybe she really planning to spring a surprise.”

Other locals said they feel uncomfortable seeing the Senior Minister of State not being her usual self.

Another local, Bu Dui Jing, said: “This silence from Sim Ann is not something anyone of us are used to.”

“Maybe she hasn’t transformed into her final form yet.”

“But then again, maybe she is waiting for Vivian Balakrishnan’s cue and both go in together to whack Chee Soon Juan.”

 

 

 

 

 





‘Murali’ to become ‘Mur Ali’ in final push to reach out to Bukit Batok minority voters

‘Murali’ to become ‘Mur Ali’ in final push to reach out to Bukit Batok minority voters

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This is to ensure he reaches out to all communities.

murali-mur-ali

Bukit Batok residents from all walks of life, who believe in relying on strategic decisions to get ahead in life, are nodding their heads and agreeing.

This after they said changing “Murali” to “Mur Ali” will further endear the PAP candidate contesting in the Bukit Batok by-election to the minority voters, since he has already gone so far as naming himself, “Ah Mu” and “Mura Lee”.

One Bukit Batok resident, Kio See Mee, said: “Since we’re already down this slippery slope of no return where Murali has become Ah Mu and Mura Lee, he should just go all the way and call himself Mur Ali.”

“It will appeal to other minority voters he has not courted thus far.”

“And really get them to identify with an Ali.”

Other Singaporeans said this strategic pandering bodes well for Mur Ali as it is difficult these days contesting in elections as the incumbent.

Mei You Cuo, another local, said: “No one will blame you if you cannot make up your mind what your name is.”

“This is politics, after all.”

 

 

 

 

 





PAP MP Denise Phua need not apologise as living with pain & regret is punishment enough

PAP MP Denise Phua need not apologise as living with pain & regret is punishment enough

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Singapore no longer has a blame culture, Singaporeans remind her.

pap-mp-denise-phua-sorry

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who recognise double standards when they see it, are consoling PAP MP Denise Phua.

This after the MP for Jalan Besar GRC apologised on Facebook to foreign workers for labelling them as “walking time-bombs”

One Singaporean, Dui Bu Qi, said the PAP MP did not have to show such contrition in the face of public backlash and most certainly did not have to say sorry: “PAP MP Denise Phua need not apologise.”

“This is because the pain and regret she has to live with is punishment enough.”

“Moreover, Singapore does not have a ‘blame’ culture now, only a ‘learn’ culture.”

However, other Singaporeans who felt even more strongly that it is not PAP MP Denise Phua’s fault have apologised to her instead.

One other local, Dao Qian, said: “Although Singapore no longer has a blame culture, it is still my fault because I am just a regular Singaporean and not part of the PAP establishment.”

“Therefore, I humbly apologise to PAP MP Denise Phua and Health Minister Gan Kim Yong for causing the Hep C outbreak at Singapore General Hospital.”

“And I also apologise to Khaw Boon Wan.”

“And Lee Hsien Loong.”

If you see Majulahs everywhere, you are a real Singaporean.

Posted by We Are Kanina on Friday, April 8, 2016

 

 

 

 

 

 





Fence off PAP MP Denise Phua as she’s a walking time-bomb, public disorder threat to foreign workers

Fence off PAP MP Denise Phua as she’s a walking time-bomb, public disorder threat to foreign workers

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Jalan Besar MP must be isolated, Singaporeans demand.

fence-denise-phua

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who know what constitutes fair comment and what is derived from politically-tone deaf stupidity, are calling for PAP MP Denise Phua to be fenced off.

This after the Jalan Besar GRC MP said communal areas in Little India, such as playgrounds and void decks, should be fenced off as large gatherings of foreign workers in the area have returned to levels before the Dec. 8, 2013 riot, and make them walking time-bombs and public incidents waiting to happen.

One Singaporean, Guan Qi Lai, said the PAP MP needs to be isolated from polite society: “Foreign workers need to be protected from PAP MP Denise Phua.”

“She is a walking time-bomb waiting to explode in their midst.”

“Her mere presence and influence on people will undoubtedly cause people to riot.”

Other Singaporeans said things in Singapore are sure looking like they are reverting to the norm again.

Yu Chun, another local, said: “Levels of stupidity in the ruling PAP government have returned to levels before the Dec. 8, 2013 riot.”

 

 

 

 

 





MPs extremely touched by their own speech in Parliament

MPs extremely touched by their own speech in Parliament

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They were impressed by themselves, many thought to and about themselves.

darryl-david-pap-mp

Numerous Members of Parliament from some walks of life, because they mainly come from the PAP who take up such a large chunk of Parliament, are feeling very moved and touched.

This after they each gave a speech in Parliament for the Budget debate and were moved to tears by the force of their own rhetoric, crispness of their diction, insight into the plight of the suffering and overwhelming fevour of their own conviction to right all wrongs in Singapore society.

One PAP MP was thought to have thought to himself: “I spoke with a conviction I never felt since I got elected during GE2015 last September 2015.”

“I was extremely touched by the sound of my voice and the position I espouse. I believe Singaporeans from all walks of life will hear my speech and weep as I have wept, as I was really, really moved.”

Other MPs were reported to have thought to themselves that they too did extremely well and have moved even themselves to do soul-searching in the aftermath of their words having been spoken.

Another MP from the ruling party, was believed to have thought: “This speech will convince all my naysayers that I have so much substance and belief.”

“I nailed it completely. The electorate made the right decision giving me this strong mandate. This will make me a superstar MP praised by the Internet and social media people.”

“I have so much belief and so much to give. It’s amazing.”

At press time, Singaporeans from all walks of life were not aware parliament was in session.

 

 

 

 

 





PAP becoming more caring, less elitist ruling government

PAP becoming more caring, less elitist ruling government

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Their MPs do everything to serve Singaporeans with love and goodness.

pap-more-caring

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who believe the People’s Action Party can do no wrong, said the political party has become a more caring and less elitist ruling government.

One Singaporean, Zhen Wei Da, said he can feel that the PAP is the best party for Singapore now and forever: “The PAP MPs are so humble and gracious. They work for their people instead of for their own narrow self-interests and enrichment.”

“PAP MPs have taken a pay cut from the private sector to join the public service to ensure Singaporeans by-and-large are well taken care of.”

“They have to put themselves unnecessarily in the public spotlight just so that Singaporeans can have a First World good life.”

“MPs and ministers, in particular, are selfless individuals who put the community, society and country above self”

“Without the PAP, Singapore would have been ruined.”

Other locals said the PAP is the best thing that has ever happened to them.

One other local, Wo Ai Ni, said he does not see a future for Singapore without the PAP being at the forefront of everything: “PAP MPs and ministers must be paid more and shown more appreciation.”

“I cannot go to sleep at night knowing that the PAP MPs and ministers are overworked and have not much time for themselves and their families.”

“We should allow all MPs to have a shadow MP by their side and pay them full salaries with benefits so that they can take turns to work.”

“And for the next election, each vote cast for the PAP must be counted as two votes.”

“Only then can I live with myself or I will feel guilt-ridden for the rest of my life.”

At press time, Singaporeans have drawn up plans to make statues of all PAP MPs to be placed in the estate they are in-charge of as a show of appreciation.

 

 

 

 

 











Third Party, S’pore’s newest political party, vows to bring PAP to its knees

Third Party, S’pore’s newest political party, vows to bring PAP to its knees

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They have their game plan ready.

third-party-singapore-political-newest

Unveiling their minimalistic black and white logo at their party headquarters in Joo Chiat, Third Party, Singapore’s newest political party to register, told the media at a press conference they are here to create change and know exactly what it takes to make a mark in today’s political scene.

Third Party’s Secretary-General, Gao Wai Yu, said: “I will prove to Singaporeans that Third Party is a fierce rival that will steal the hearts of Singaporeans and bring PAP to its knees.”

Explaining the party’s choice of logo, party treasurer Nao Lee Hoon, said: “As you can see, our party logo is very symbolic: It consists of black and white, signalling the usual two sides of the divide. And then there is the grey area, which is the third side.”

“Very appropriate for a party called Third Party.”

“On a more serious note, we are called Third Party for two reasons, which Singaporeans are already familiar with.”

“Firstly, it is because there have traditionally been two main parties in Singapore: The PAP and Workers’ Party.”

“So, Third Party aims to be the third party that is of consequence in Singapore politics.”

“And naturally also because we know that third parties have so far been the downfall of PAP MPs.”

“So, we want to bring PAP to its knees, on its back, on all fours, on their side, hands behind their back and what have you.”

Besides outlining how the party envisions their entry into the lives of the PAP, the secretary-general also said that they will be focusing on recruiting new members for Third Party around their headquarters.

These new recruits can be volunteers or card-carrying members, but they will mostly come from the Joo Chiat area and will be formally called “Third Parties”.

Fen Cai Chan, a new recruit of Third Party and recent naturalised citizen from Vietnam, said: “Joo Chiat will be our home ground from now on. We have looked at many different locales to set up our HQ, but we felt this turf is ripe to recruit members as many of the constituents here already know a thing or two about what it takes to be a ‘Third Party’.”

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who have always appreciated high-octane action and watching Korean drama series, are smiling broadly and clapping their hands in glee as they said Third Party’s entry into the political arena spells trouble for PAP.

One Singaporean, Kwa Hee, said as he put on his sunglasses and The Who came on: “The PAP will have a hard time resisting the advances of this Third Party.”

“Yeeeeeeah.”

 

 

 

 

 











PM Lee reminds MPs: PAP slogan is not ‘With you, for you, in you’

PM Lee reminds MPs: PAP slogan is not ‘With you, for you, in you’

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Better make things clear, he thought, as he typed out an email reminder.

pm-lee-send-email

Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong has taken some time off this Sunday to craft a gentle email reminder to his remaining 82 Members of Parliament from the People’s Action Party.

The 64-year-old leader of Singapore’s only democratically elected party to hold majority power for more than 50 years, considered his options for the breezy afternoon in his favourite chair before deciding it would be appropriate to reiterate his stance in light of what happened.

“Dear Esteemed Members of the House,” he began typing, pausing to include “All PAP MPs” in the CC option. “I couldn’t have written this email reminder at a less opportune moment.”

He continued: “I’m sure you have by now seen the news on social media that Bukit Batok MP David Ong had to step down because of his personal indiscretion.”

“But if you would kindly refer to the front cover of the PAP manifesto, the party’s slogan clearly reads, ‘With you, for you, for Singapore’.”

“I would like to reiterate that at no point does it say ‘With you, for you, in you’.”

“Any confusion up until yesterday would be forgiven, as I, in my capacity as leader of this party, probably had not made my stance clear.”

“Please feel free to email me if you have any queries or outstanding issues, especially regarding any pre-existing relationships you have with grassroots leaders, volunteers, supporters or a fellow MP from this party or the opposition.”

“Your candour is greatly appreciated, my fellow Comrades.”

“Yours sincerely, Hsien Loong.”

After he finished sending his email, PM Lee went back to reading a book about computer coding as the rest of his Sunday slowly wound down.

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans disappointed to find out PAP MPs are actually allowed to make love

S’poreans disappointed to find out PAP MPs are actually allowed to make love

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They always believed wearing white meant they were as pure as virgins.

pap-supporters-no-sex

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who believe it is important for those serving the country to devote themselves wholeheartedly to the cause and make personal sacrifices, are feeling disappointed and wiping tears from their eyes while sniffling loudly into tissue paper.

This after they found out that PAP MPs are actually allowed to have sex, as Bukit Batok SMC’s ex-MP David Ong resigned from the party and parliament for porking a woman who is not his wife.

One Singaporean, Gao Wai Yu, said: “I was shocked to hear that a PAP MP had an affair as I thought they were not even allowed to have sex in the first place, let alone pork someone who is not his wife.”

“I have always thought the PAP MPs wore white as it was evidence that they are as pure as virgins.”

“If PAP MPs spent their time pursuing worldly pleasures and fulfilling their physical desires, they surely won’t be able to devote every waking hour to worrying about and solving Singapore’s myriad of problems.”

“I sincerely hope Singaporeans who join PAP will never have sex ever again.”

Other Singaporeans, however, were more understanding and said exceptions could be made.

One other local, Lee Zhong Li, said: “This current slate of MPs from the third and fourth generation leadership look like the sort who get distracted too easily.”

“Unlike Lee Kuan Yew, who was the only one who could compartmentalise his priorities.”

“Because at his best, he could screw everyone upside down.”

Give that man a mango? No, give that man a "Majulah".

Posted by We Are Kanina on Saturday, 12 March 2016