Tag Archive | "NUS"

Some lesbians diagnosed with cancer after NUS professor’s lesbian = cancer comment

Some lesbians diagnosed with cancer after NUS professor’s lesbian = cancer comment

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Ailment spreads after he made that remark.

Syed-Muhd-Khairudin-Aljunied

Some lesbians around the world were diagnosed with cancer yesterday and today.

This after National University of Singapore Associate Professor Syed Muhd Khairudin Aljunied, wrote last week that lesbians equal cancers.

Many Singaporeans interviewed said this is not a coincidence.

Tong Xing Lian, a local, said: “His comment gave me cancer.”

“This must be some kind of black magic sorcery. Singapore is such a modern society already, we cannot go back to the old days of practising witchcraft and getting caught up in superstitions.”

S’poreans disown NUS after it fails to clinch 1st place world uni rankings

S’poreans disown NUS after it fails to clinch 1st place world uni rankings

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26th position? Why not you just close down?

university-graduation

Singaporeans from all walks of life have disowned NUS, Singapore’s supposedly only premier university, after it failed to clinch top position for the umpteenth time.

This after NUS was ranked 26th position in the Times Higher Education World University rankings this year.

It was ranked 29th last year.

One disappointed junior college student, Hen Yong Kong, said: “I didn’t spend so much money on tuition to end up studying in a university ranked 26th in the world.”

His sentiments were shared by others who are motivated to be only the best of the best.

Another Singapore, Kua Tak Kiu, said: “How would Manchester United feel if it finished the league at 26th position?”

However, not all is doom and gloom.

Hen Seow Zhang, an ex-NUS student said: “At least NUS beat NTU. NTU is languishing at 76th position. They might as well just close down.”

Felicia Chin quits NUS in June, university ranked top in Asia in Sept

Felicia Chin quits NUS in June, university ranked top in Asia in Sept

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Experts debate: Coincidence or causality detected?

felicia-chin-bikini

After heeding Khaw Boon Wan’s advice that a degree is useless and cannot be eaten, sexually attractive MediaCorp actress Felicia Chin quit NUS in June to go back to acting where she can make it big and earn more money.

Her exit from the institution of higher learning had sparked intense debate over whether a degree from NUS would signal that you are ugly, and that’s why you need to study hard to make it in life.

Now, the debate continues to rage on.

This after Felicia Chin’s exit in June resulted in NUS to be ranked top in Asia according to the World University Rankings released yesterday.

Professor Tak Chek, a lecturer at NUS, said this sequence of events is not coincidental: “If Felicia Chin was still around NUS, we would have ranked lower than NTU, which would have been a crime.”

NTU is ranked seventh in Asia this year, which is still nowhere near Champions League qualifying material.

Felicia Chin heeds Khaw Boon Wan’s advice, quits NUS

Felicia Chin heeds Khaw Boon Wan’s advice, quits NUS

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Her exit motivates thousands of NUS males to follow suit.

felicia-chin-underwear

Thousands of males from NUS have tendered their resignation to the dean to quit their studies.

This after sexually-attractive female thespian Felicia Chin announced her decision to quit NUS to go back to MediaCorp, where she would prance around for the camera once more having left three years ago to go to university to expand her intellect.

But apparently, her intellect has expanded enough.

Felicia Chin is believed to have heeded Khaw Boon Wan’s advice, where the minister for national development said a few weeks ago that a degree is useless and cannot be eaten.

Felicia Chin’s exit has been praised by many as a move in the right direction.

One Singaporean male and soon-to-be ex-undergrad of NUS, Mai Tak Chek, said: “A degree is useless in this day and age. PM Lee and Khaw Boon Wan also say so.”

Others share this sentiment too.

Another soon to be ex-NUS undergrad, Mai Tak Liao said: “What you need is brand power, a nice smile and sexual attractiveness to make it big. A degree from NUS would signal that you are ugly, that’s why you need to study hard to make it in life.”

Chen Show Mao still preferred over Daniel Goh as future prime minister

Chen Show Mao still preferred over Daniel Goh as future prime minister

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But analysts predict what straw poll revealed: It could be a close fight.

Will Prof Daniel Goh give Chen Show Mao a run for his money?

Will Prof Daniel Goh (left) give hipster MP Chen Show Mao a run for his money?

National University of Singapore sociologist Prof Daniel Goh made his maiden speech at an election rally on Wednesday night, formally announcing that he has become a Workers’ Party member.

His unveiling was met with waves of cooing and oohing all over Singapore as many see Prof Goh’s participation in politics as a sign that another heavyweight has thrown his name into the hat.

And PAP could be up for some serious competition (read: ass-whooping) come GE2016.

However, a straw poll with 15,000 Singaporeans reveal that Aljunied GRC MP Chen Show Mao is still pretty much in the lead, if ever there was a straight fight between him and Prof Daniel Goh for the prime ministry.

Hipster MP Chen Show Mao came out with 60.1 percent of all votes while Prof Daniel Goh goes away with 39.9 percent.

Self-styled political pundit, Eric de Yaya, said: “Chen Show Mao has always been seen as the future prime minister. But Prof Daniel Goh will no doubt give him a run for his money.”

And there are some who view Prof Daniel Goh’s participation as highly valuable for NUS, because it increases the institution of higher education’s street cred. And prove that academics can go from pontificating behind closed doors in a class room to being the change they want to see in the world.

New Nation editor, Belmont Lay, said: “Knowing that Prof Goh has officially become a WP member makes me proud to announce to people from now on that NUS is actually my alma mater. Feels good to be associated with NUS now. Although I’ve never even attended a single class by him.”

Other NUS undergrads that New Nation spoke too were also cooing and oohing, while getting moist and swollen.

Wo Xi Huan, a second-year sociology major said: “Mmmm Prof Goh is so boyish and freedom fighting… Mmmm in baby blue… His modules confirm bid until siao one next semester…”

Help this 21-year-old get into NUS!

Help this 21-year-old get into NUS!

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Poly grad denied entry into NUS Computer Science, starts personal appeal website.

By Belmont Lay

If you’ve had enough of all that doom and gloom about our MRT system going tits up even as COE prices breached the stratosphere, on top of the overwrought sex scandal involving a truckload of men that has become nothing less than a grotesque public spectacle, here’s something to lighten your mood and perhaps restore your faith in humanity before this week comes to a close.

Alvin Wang started a personal appeal website to up his chances of getting into NUS. What's your excuse again?

Here goes: A very tech-savvy 21-year-old, by the name of Alvin Wang, has started a personal online appeal page called “Help Alvin Get Into School“.

His story is fairly straightforward: Alvin graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a Diploma in Information Technology two years ago.

But the deal is, his application to pursue a degree in Computer Science at National University of Singapore was rejected.

Instead of feeling disheartened and end up peddling his story anonymously to some sad sack website or Internet forum that blames foreigners for everything, he uses his God-give initiative to start his own personal appeal page to garner support, and hence, a better shot at completing his tertiary education.

The question is: Will he stand a better chance of getting into NUS when he applies again just because of this appeal site? (As of April 20, 2012 @ 2 a.m., there are 3,000 Likes.)

Will NUS buy this sort of antics?

Hey, who knows? Even Alvin himself sounds sceptical about his chances.

But you got to love this kid for trying!

He is gunning to become a developer, is obviously in love with his craft and appears technically competent – given that his website is eye-catching, fuss-free and funky without all that jazz and overkill.

So, to all of you who are reading this, please share this story far and wide.

“Like” Alvin’s appeal website on Facebook. Spread the word so it gets around.

I’ll use whatever means I have at my disposal to get your website noticed by the Dean, ok?

This guy deserves a shot at getting into university!

Because even though jumping up and down all the time blaming everything and everyone for our lot in life might be an option or something we are getting used to, I think it is obvious that we also have the choice of proactively doing something – even if it’s just this once – to help one fellow out.

Someone, someday might just repay you that favour.

Exchange student is “dead wrong” about NUS academic freedom

Exchange student is “dead wrong” about NUS academic freedom

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Exchange student Walker Vincoli has “academic freedom” explained to him by a letter writer.

Dear New Nation editor,

Recently, an exchange student who spent two semesters in NUS went back to his home country in the West and wrote a disparaging article criticising NUS’ lack of “academic freedom”.

I don’t know about this Walker Vincoli guy who wrote the article suggesting that NUS, its students and teaching staff, are into self-censorship.

I want to complain against him because he is dead wrong.

I don’t know what modules he was taking, (apparently they were political science modules), but those I took were always quite fun.

I was majoring in Comunications, for the record.

Let me say one thing: I spent four years inside the Arts faculty. And every minute I was there, I was free as a bird.

Academic freedom was real.

Believe me, NUS students have a lot of freedom.

When in class, they are free to answer questions or remain quiet.

So when the tutor asks questions, most will look at the floor and avoid eye contact.

In other country’s universities, I heard it can be quite chaotic. People getting into arguments about some esoteric subject or cannot stand being criticised for the weaker but finer points of the argument.

And then they take things outside.

Here in Singapore, we are free to choose. It is our right within the confines of academia. So we choose what is called a “Quiet Democracy”.

Let me explain: Mostly, NUS students remain quiet because Singaporeans are introverted. And not because we choose to be.

Last time, about 5 years ago, SDP opposition politics mentor Chee Soon Juan came to the NUS Kent Ridge campus to pay a visit and eat at the canteen.

Everyone freely ignored him.

No one bothered to stop and stare because students were too busy spending their free time in the canteen eating and having conversations about nothing among themselves.

And partly because no one recognised him.

The freedom to choose to know who is your opposition political figurehead is a right in itself that is underrated.

Moreover, NUS culture is so free to the extent that you don’t even have to attend lectures. All you need to do is just to show up for the exams.

So not surprising, lecturers are also free to give grades. Except that at the end of each semester, he plots all the grades according to the bell curve.

So even if your numerical grade is 99.5, you might have effectively scored a B+.

Partly because that module has plenty of students from China taking it.

But hear me out, all work and no play makes everyone dull. (I knew of a lot of overseas scholars who looked pasty and spent too much time in the library.)

Hence, NUS offers students a lot of free time.

In any given week, you are in school about three days the most.

Academic freedom, hence, is the right to stay away from touching your books when you don’t feel like it.

The girls in NUS are also very free, judging by the way they dress. Ok, regarding this point, I speak for the girls in the Arts faculty.

Their make-up is always very thick, their skirt is reluctantly very short (as I noticed they spend a lot of time trying to hold it down when they sit or navigate the endless flights of stairs uphill and downhill) and their perfume is inclined to be very strong.

They probably take 2 hours to get ready for a tutorial that last 45 minutes the most.

So, as you can see, NUS students express themselves in many different non-verbal ways.

And this in itself is highly politically charged.

Because have you heard of this mantra “the personal is political”?

Well, NUS students are political alright. Their bodies are the domain of politics. They are the poletariats relinquinshing their Foucaultian chains as they resist the Marxist superstructures that control the means of production.

They embody the politics of sexiness.

If you did not understand the previous two paragraphs, then I’m truly sorry, you have not understood our politics of covert-overt expression that goes beyond the academic or textbook.

Needless to say, this brings me on to my next point: I can assure you NUS is very free.

You can go to Vivo City during any weekday, and the place is reeking of NUS students.

And trust me, any student is free to talk politics in any class, even when it is not a political science module.

Just that when you relate, for example, everything in the module (be it history of Southeast Asian art or intro to game theory) back to Lim Chin Siong or Singapore’s hardline censorship stance, you will have no friends and be forever alone.

You will also be ostracised for politicising everything.

But I understand this causes some problems: A lot of people complain that NUS students these days are apolitical and apathetic.

I disagree. This is a gross misrepresentation and an outright injustice.

NUS students are, in fact, being objective.

They refuse to allow politics to cloud their judgement. Or occupy thoughts, if any, in their mind.

You see, when politics get in the way, you wouldn’t have enough focus. And when you don’t have enough focus, you cannot ensure you will not miss out on any online sprees or spot Forever21 sale items.

I still believe NUS students are free to talk about anything they want. That’s why you see them sitting around campus all the time talking about stuff. With their laptops open.

And when NUS students do engage in real work, they are free to pursue their interests in all areas.

To conduct research, students read a lot of papers and articles written by people no one outside of university has ever heard of and write and submit essays citing even more obscure sources that eventually no one ever reads.

This is the pinnacle of scholarly pursuits.

And all these can be very stressful.

That is why to make their lives more interesting, a lot of female NUS students end up becoming blogshop models.

They say the money is good and they get to express themselves aesthetically.

Which is political.

And this is the most free they have ever felt their entire lives.

Yours sincerely,
Tok Kin Kok
NUS Alumni
Class of 2009

P.S. If you all want, you all talking Singlish in the comment section, ho seh boh? Liddat, all the chao ang moh reading this overseas catch no ball! On boh? Simi lan jiao wei also kong, can?

The Straits Times quotes Professor Obvious

The Straits Times quotes Professor Obvious

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Oh wow, why didn’t I think of that?

This was an article published in The Straits Times on Dec. 28 about the Liat Towers being inundated by flood waters.

One of the people quoted for the article is Assistant Professor Vivien Chua of the National University of Singapore’s Department of Civil and Environmental Engineering, who spent a good part of her life getting a PhD.

She was quoted as saying:

NUS issues decree to force freshmen to take English writing classes

NUS issues decree to force freshmen to take English writing classes

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Targeted approach to pinpoint the worst English speakers and writers. And then everyone else.

A poor grasp of English is like writing with a blunt pencil. It is pointless and grating.

Under the diktat of National University of Singapore provost Tan Eng Chye, the university will force 1,500 of its freshmen to take compulsory writing modules from August next year.

These writing modules are targeted at students who cannot speak English properly without fudging the words that are coming out of their mouths or make decent eye contact during oral presentations.

Eng Chye witnessed these instances first-hand, as well as students who cannot even take meeting minutes properly, and so he’s bent on fixing this perceived problem.

Since there are 6,500 freshmen entering NUS each year, the 1,500 selected initially – representing a quarter of new students – must eventually be chosen based on a supposedly lottery-style selection.

Well, sort of.

The students forced to take the compulsory writing modules will either come from a big faculty or from several smaller faculties, Eng Chye said.

Therefore, although unspoken, it can be understood with a tinge of implicit knowledge that a “big faculty” normally refers to the Engineering faculty or Science faculty, while a “small faculty” would target the School of Computing.

And if you’re laughing to yourself thinking that this doublespeak is funny and these are the faculties targeted because they are typically known to consist of non-Singaporean (read: foreign) students, then you are probably right, being racist or both.

The real reason is because Engineering and Science students communicate in an efficient language that typically makes use of a mix of arcane Greek symbols and Arabic numerals resembling chicken scratching, but are otherwise, highly effective in expressing non-linear streams of information in linear-looking equations.

They can communicate through this method effectively with little room for error while applying zero non-verbal cues and certainly with none or very little English. (Because, if you think about it, a Chinese engineer must be able to tell an Indian engineer how to get the bridge built even when no English is exchanged, otherwise we’re all screwed.)

Computing students, on the other hand, tend to speak Python or some variant. (Which to you and me, could very well be Klingon or Na’vi.)

For proof that this is the case, Eng Chye wrote in his blog earlier this month on Oct. 18 that the current pilot writing modules launched so far have not been attracting much interest from Science, Engineering and Computing students.

And there’s the caveat to Eng Chye’s point: Engineering, Science and Computing students need the writing modules more badly than anyone else because they have “far less opportunity to develop language and communications skills through their disciplinary modules”.

But Eng Chye also told The Straits Times about his concern regarding the nuances of the problem: “You can have students who can write grammatically but cannot express their main ideas in a succinct and direct manner. They just ramble on.”

Which is why this article is a 60-reduction of the originally very lengthy, meandering, pointless and space-wasting front page piece that appeared in The Straits Times on Oct. 31. Yawn.

Editor’s note: I think what Eng Chye really is out to cultivate at NUS are Steve Jobs: People who can think English, speak technology, minimally. No?

Former MM Lee Kuan Yew: The Singapore vision is your vision, not my vision

Former MM Lee Kuan Yew: The Singapore vision is your vision, not my vision

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You know guys, The Old Man really just wants to retire. Cut him some slack.

By Fang Shihan

He came, he croaked and he curtly rasped his way around questions from all directions. Not that you would expect anything less from Former Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew, who was at the receiving end of the Q&A session organized by the Lee Kuan Yew School of public policy on Wednesday.

The grandfather of Singapore stands tall at 88 years old this year and is clearly still very influential as an international thinker – but reluctantly so.

This was Lee just three years ago with Fareed Zakaria:

A far cry from the disengaged grandaddy that he personified during the Q&A when answers were filled with awkward silences as moderator Kishore Mahbubani struggled to figure out if he’d actually finished his answer.

Arriving onstage with a bandage on his middle finger (we figure he cut  himself while giving the finger to hordes of mangy journalists. Just because he’s badass), wearing office socks paired with a pair of Nike Free running shoes, The Old Man, as he’s fondly known, candidly batted off questions he thought were irrelevant and gave his honest disclaimer about issues he felt he wouldn’t be an expert on.

“If he’s from Sri Lanka then he’ll know more about Sri Lanka than I do,” he replied to a person who wrote in asking about the post-conflict country.

Still, the questions on international relations kept coming, and the fortune cookie insights from the oracle who transformed a tiny rock to a metropolitan city, continued to wow the audience and created headlines.

Not that he appreciated it. At one point, it almost felt like he became increasingly exasperated with the adulation – or maybe it was a case of same set of shitty questions on a different day.

He did however, confidently say that he was an expert on Singapore issues. And this is where New Nation comes in.

We asked him if his public appearances during the general elections affected PM Lee’s chances of winning. To which he chuckled:

wHy dO YoU ALL tHiNk I hAvE aLL tHe AnsWeRs???

“I did not appear so often anyway. I have stood down and I don’t know who gave you the impression I appeared so frequently. I have stood down and I am off the press as a focus of attention, and off the electronic media.”

Now the written word doesn’t do him justice. He might sound pompous or even scathing in the reply but in reality, Big Scary former MM Lee Kuan Yew was just one “Girl ar…” short of sounding like any other 88 year old grandfather.

A grandfather that has seen a country from its squalid post-war beginnings to its current cosmopolitan state. Oh and a grandfather that single-handedly destroyed Singapore’s opposition prior to independence.

“Conditions change,” he says. “After long period of quiet, confident rule, a generation that grows up in a period of affluence believes that we have arrived. And as the saying goes, a first world parliament must have a first world opposition. So the restlessness. whether that leads to better governance we have to wait and see.”

So the old man still has problems with a non-one party state, saying that Singapore does not have the critical mass to produce two A-grade political teams.

But grumble as he may – and with that growl of a voice, amplified by the microphone close to his throat it certainly sounded unhappy – he made it clear that his time is over and that Singapore is in the hands of the next generation.

He says, “The vision has to be your vision, not my vision. I’ve lived my life, I’m 88. I’m strolling into the sunset, maybe I’ll stumble towards the end. But you have to have a vision of the kind of Singapore you want and you got to crystallize that and get your leaders to adopt your vision.”

Paraphrased: “I’m done with this shit. It’s your problem now. Let me retire in peace.”

So cut him some slack guys.

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