Tag Archive | "ministers"

Some ministers wondering why no one brought up their name as next PM material

Some ministers wondering why no one brought up their name as next PM material

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They want to do that Oscars ceremony thing where they can act surprised at winning.

singapore-parliament-mps

As speculation continues to proliferate in the media as to who will be the next chief of Singapore, several ministers have admitted to themselves they feel sad their names have not been brought up publicly as the next prime minister material.

One minister reportedly thought to himself: “Every time I hear PM Lee talk about succession plans and how the next prime minister might already be in parliament now, I secretly fantasise that he is talking about me and will be unveiling me as his protege to everyone’s surprise and chagrin when the time comes.”

“Like ‘Hey, I was here all along and you guys snubbed me because you thought I’d have amounted to nothing’.”

Another minister reportedly regularly fantasises about how he would pick up a call one day from Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong, who would inform him he is the top choice: “I know it is down to six Chinese men who represent the best of Singapore’s multi-racial society. But one can hope against all hope it could be me.”

“That is one of my fantasies.”

“I imagine it like what you see during the Oscar ceremony where they are announcing the Best Actor and everyone is being cool and composed before the winner’s name is read and when you don’t get chosen you still have to keep a straight face.”

However, Singaporeans by-and-large said it is not hard to foretell who will be the next prime minister.

One local, Tng Lang, said: “By default, if you’re Chinese and you’re a man, you stand a better chance already.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





Supermarkets in S’pore launch ‘Ministers First’ checkout priority queue

Supermarkets in S’pore launch ‘Ministers First’ checkout priority queue

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This is part of Singapore’s natural aristocracy.

ministers-first-priority-queue-supermarket

Leading supermarkets in Singapore that aim to serve Singaporeans from all walks of life, because wet markets are a thing of the past, have launched a new “Ministers First” checkout priority queue.

This after it was revealed that priority queue is part of Singapore’s natural aristocracy and regular shoppers were barred from entering the line by security when it was empty but manned by a cashier.

One Singaporean, Pai Dui, said: “I was informed this morning that this ‘Ministers First’ queue is to be kept free at all times because it will only open up when a minister comes into the supermarket to buy something and needs to pay.”

“This will then create no hassle for him to buy and leave unhindered as his security detail might have firearms.”

Other locals said more needs to be done to ensure ministers in Singapore will be able to to move freely.

Liang Diao, another local, said: “Instead of having just one Ministers First priority checkout line open at all times, the supermarkets can consider having two free lines.”

“This will ensure that in the event two ministers walk into the supermarket to buy things, they wouldn’t have to give way to each other to see who gets to go first and can just pay together separately at the two lines.”

“This will prevent the stirring of anger and hatred.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





Ah Boys To Men 4 will chart journey of recruits who sign on with SAF, join politics later & become Ministers

Ah Boys To Men 4 will chart journey of recruits who sign on with SAF, join politics later & become Ministers

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Based on real life rags-to-riches tales.

ah-boys-to-men-4

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who like to watch movies about tales of rags-to-riches, are clapping their hands in anticipation.

This after they heard that the fourth installment of the Ah Boys To Men movie in the interminable franchise will be called Ah Boys To Ministers 4.

The movie will follow the journey of a group of boys who undergo National Service, sign on as regulars with the Singapore Armed Forces on fast-tracked careers, and later on, get invited to join the incumbent political party of Singapore to run and win in the General Election.

One Singaporean, Zho Hee Seow, said this movie sounds like a true story: “Going from talentless lads to being one of the highest-paid public servants in the world is an inspirational story of good fortune and dumb luck.”

“Furthermore, it will bring into sharp focus the hilarity of going into public service as a matter of convenience rather than conviction.”

This narrative arc will have Singaporeans eating out of the franchise’s hands, other locals said.

Kua Hee Gong, another local said: “I will bring my family and friends along to watch as it will show me just exactly what we’re missing about the good life.”

However, not all Singaporeans are easily sold on the story and expect to see more drama.

Pian Lang, another Singaporean, said: “Along the way, one of the characters would have an affair and get caught and more hilarity would ensue.”

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans apologise to PM Lee: ‘Sorry we gave you too strong mandate, caused your Cabinet to have too many ministers’

S’poreans apologise to PM Lee: ‘Sorry we gave you too strong mandate, caused your Cabinet to have too many ministers’

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This put PM Lee in a tight spot.

pm-lee-cabinet

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who are from the 70 percent and who know they have made a mistake, have come out to apologise to Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong

This after they realised that they gave the PAP too strong a mandate by voting 83 out of 89 of their MPs into parliament and causing the Cabinet to be filled with too many ministers.

One Singaporean, Dui Bu Qi, said: “I would like to say sorry to PM Lee Hsien Loong as I and my fellow 70 percent Singaporeans gave our leader a headache by making his Cabinet have too many ministerial calibre candidates.”

“We should have voted more for the opposition, send more of their candidates into parliament and put some PAP ministers into retirement automatically, then none of this headache would have occurred.”

Other Singaporeans said they are highly apologetic that their votes for the PAP has put PM Lee in a tough spot.

Tui Siew, another local, said: “Because we voted in so many PAP MPs, PM Lee is left with the unenviable task of retiring ministers, which he has proven to be really bad at doing.”

“But we can tell PM Lee is being very diplomatic: He simply did not retire any ministers but kept all of them and made more newer positions to accommodate everyone’s feelings.”

“All 70 percent of Singaporeans would have approved of this move.”