Tag Archive | "michael palmer"

S’poreans react to Michael Palmer featured in The Straits Times about rugby game raising money for charity

S’poreans react to Michael Palmer featured in The Straits Times about rugby game raising money for charity

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Three thoughts that must have went past your mind at some point.

michael-palmer-tackle-rugby

Ex-PAP politician Michael Palmer was featured in The Straits Times on Oct. 3, 2015, almost three years after he resigned from Parliament.

The article is about law students and veteran lawyers tackling each other in rugby to raise funds for charity.

The event, Rugby Charity Shield, was organised by law firms Drew & Napier and Quahe Woo & Palmer.

The event at Yio Chu Kang stadium raised $85,000 through donations.

Here are three thoughts Singaporeans have:

 

sian-half-auntie “It is nice to see that there is life after parliament.”
Guo Hui, 46-year-old wooden chair maker

 

sian-half-uncle “Makes me wonder how Laura Ong is doing.”
Gao Wai Yu, 64-year-old biology teacher

 

happy-bird-girl “He can tackle me any time.”
Kai Fang, 18-year-old law student

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 











Those against adultery website are most likely to cheat on spouse

Those against adultery website are most likely to cheat on spouse

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Petitioning against Ashley Madison’s Singapore launch is a sure sign of guilty conscience.

ashley-madison

Singaporeans from all walks of life with cheater bug tendencies said they are sympathetic towards those Singaporeans who oppose the launch of the Ashley Madison website here.

They said this is because those who are against the adultery website are most likely to cheat on their spouse.

Sng Char Bor, a local, said: “This is the same reason why many Singaporeans were against the building of casinos. Because the moment there is a place for gambling, those who know they will be addicted eventually become addicted.”

Other Singaporeans, however, not only said they understand why there will be those who object to Ashley Madison, they are also sympathetic to their opposition.

One Singaporean, Qu Ya Long, said: “Those who oppose Ashley Madison actually have a guilty conscience. They know that they will surely sign up for their services and commit adultery the moment it comes to Singapore. That’s why their reaction is so big now even before the website is coming here.”

“They already feel aroused knowing the fact that there is such a website.”

Ashley Madison is a website that allows married people to do a Michael Palmer.

A Facebook page was started last week to campaign against the launch of Ashley Madison, based solely on rumours that the adult website is planning to bring its operations to Singapore.

Called “Block Ashley Madison – Singapore“, the petition page has garnered more than 24,000 Likes.

This is about 16,000 more Likes than Family Minister Chan Chun Sing who spoke out strongly against the adultery website but not against Krispy Kreme doughnuts — even though both have a propensity to cause marriages to fail.

 

If you didn’t like this article, you will also despise the following articles:

Government bans “69″ sexual position

Overexposed Big Mouth Model is stalking me

Over 100 SMRT bus drivers hang out, invited for tea, biscuits

 

 

 

 

Michael Palmer vs. Laura Ong

Michael Palmer vs. Laura Ong

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Proof that having scrotum makes a difference.

The Straits Times, April 5, 2013

The Straits Times, April 5, 2013

It’s been nearly four months since ex-PAP MP Michael Palmer sacked himself from parliament for porking Laura Ong, a woman who is not his wife.

Lo and behold, the media spotlight is back on him.

Out of the blue, The Straits Times ran a glowing report about Michael Palmer on April 5, 2013, focusing on how well he is coping and how much weight he has lost and how sexy the Eurasian beast still is.

Kind of strange, don’t you think?

Nevertheless, what is interesting to some people and feminists in particular, is that it is better to be a man than a woman when it comes to getting caught for committing adultery.

To see who is coming out in front, here is Michael Palmer vs. Laura Ong in a head-to-head race.

palmer-vs-laura

1. Career

Michael Palmer: Leaves old law firm to become a partner in a new boutique firm. Career going places.

Laura Ong: Resigned from constituency director position in GRC. Now works at an anonymous company owned by a grassroots leader who volunteers in Pasir Ris-Punggol GRC.

One point to Michael Palmer.

——

2. Health

Michael Palmer: The ex-rugby player who was pudgy in his PAP days has reportedly lost weight because he is consciously working out.

Laura Ong: Unknown, but can’t be as healthy as Michael Palmer.

One point to Michael Palmer.

——

3. Reputation

Michael Palmer: Still a lawyer. Still named Michael Palmer. Still known as a Eurasian sexy beast.

Laura Ong: Went into hiding. But has since changed her name and even set up another Facebook account using a different name.

One point to Michael Palmer.

——

4. Rehabilitated image in media

Michael Palmer: Described to be “cheerful”, “happy to join the firm” and “exchanging banter with his colleagues” when ST paid him a visit.

Laura Ong: ST did not even bother to use any adjectives on her.

One point to Michael Palmer.

——

5. Personal relationship

Michael Palmer: Wife of 16 years stands by him. They even went to watch the gay icon Adam Lambert in concert last month at The Star Theatre. Wife even posted a photo on Facebook showing them at a beach overseas.

Laura Ong: Andy Ong, the man she was dating when getting porked by Michael Palmer, is no longer with her. Probably still friends with Teo Ser Luck though.

One point to Michael Palmer.

——

6. Financial well-being

Michael Palmer: Still a lawyer. Still rich.

Laura Ong: Unknown. But can’t be as rich as a lawyer.

One point to Michael Palmer.

——

Final score: Michael Palmer 6 Laura Ong 0. Michael Palmer wins.

Christians vindicated as Michael Palmer spotted at Adam Lambert concert

Christians vindicated as Michael Palmer spotted at Adam Lambert concert

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Letter writer pens short note claiming New Creation Church has gone down the path of no return.

Dear New Nation editors,

I pen this note with deep sadness in my heart. It has come to my attention that ex-PAP MP Michael Palmer was spotted at the Adam Lambert concert last Friday.

Michael Palmer attended the Adam Lambert concert, proving that homosexual values know no boundaries.

Michael Palmer attended the Adam Lambert concert, proving that homosexual values know no boundaries.

I had warned that New Creation Church should do everything it its power to stop this concert from happening as they are already the last bastion of a true Christian church in Singapore after FCBC and City Harvest Church have fallen by the wayside.

But they still chose to be waylaid and let all warnings fall on deaf ears.

Michael Palmer’s attendance at the concert is a vindication that I was right: Homosexual values know no boundaries and are even capable of attracting an adulterer and turning him into a passive audience.

I am prompted to take drastic action next.

I want to declare that me and some of my friends are ready to take over AWARE. We are ready to rectify everything that is wrong with Singapore from there.

Best,
Conservative Nazi

Mainstream media leaves Michael Palmer alone, hounds Yaw Shin Leong

Mainstream media leaves Michael Palmer alone, hounds Yaw Shin Leong

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Because reporters fear they might be unintentionally seduced by Eurasian sexy beast if they talked to him.

Yaw Shin Leong carry baby while not on election campaign trail

Yaw Shin Leong carry baby while not on election campaign trail

Mainstream media reporters are on ex-Workers’ Party’s MP Yaw Shin Leong’s trail — again.

Yaw left Singapore and was fired by WP last February, but it appears that the mainstream media’s fascination with him has not waned.

Even when the rest of the country has moved on after Png Eng Huat won, and Lee Li Lien won and the AIM saga — which is by far more serious — is still not being probe to its fullest extent by the media.

According to a report in AsiaOne, Yaw was spotted at a local hospital as his wife has just given birth.

It also revealed that reporters were staking out at his home here throughout the year, hoping to catch a glimpse of him.

This proves how loser our mainstream reporters are. Because they don’t even dare to hound ex-PAP MP Michael Palmer, who fired himself from parliament last December after he admitted to porking a woman who is not his wife.

And given that he is still in Singapore. But is apparently off-limits because he used to don white.

However, one mainstream media reporter clarified that there is more than meets the eye as to why they do not confront Michael Palmer instead.

The male reporter in his 30s, who does not want to be named, said: “I scared I talk to Michael Palmer, I might fall for his Eurasian boy charms. He damn sexy beast one you know…”

Photo of a sweaty Michael Palmer stolen from REDSPORTS.SG, a place where you can read about other sporty people sweating for some results and stuff.

Photo of a sweaty Michael Palmer stolen from REDSPORTS.SG, a place where you can read about other sporty people sweating for some results and stuff.

Michael Palmer wins some street cred back for PAP

Michael Palmer wins some street cred back for PAP

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PAP no longer seen as “dull farts” after the Eurasian heartthrob infused politics with sexy times.

Photo of a sweaty Michael Palmer stolen from REDSPORTS.SG, a place where you can read about other sporty people sweating for some results and stuff.

The tide is appearing to be turning in favour of the PAP.

After the news of Michael Palmer’s hanky panky with another woman who is not his wife came to light on 12/12/12, more youngsters are saying that they are viewing the ruling party a whole lot differently.

They are moving the party up a notch, from being “dull farts” to “slightly more interesting than a cactus”.

The top reason is because young people witnessed Michael Palmer capable of following his emotions rather than just his rationality. And put everything on the line to fulfill his needs, a hallmark of YOLO, which is something young people strongly believe in.

And the other reason is more enlightening.

Youngsters interviewed by New Nation said they are surprised that a PAP MP can even have sex.

Let alone outside of marriage.

Zhen Tian Zhen, a 16-year-old student, said: “We had this impression that PAP MPs cannot have sex because they are always portrayed as pure as Virgin Mary. This was the image that was created in our minds having undergone Social Studies.”

“We are, therefore, now glad that they are actually fallible, which makes them more human. And believable.”

Professional political analysts have also pointed out that doing a Michael Palmer should be expected. It is a miracle that it does not happen often.

Eric de Yaya, a self-styled political pundit, said: “When you mix money, politics, power, prestige and white translucent shirt and pants into the mix, I don’t see how you can not get a sexed-up party.”

This will probably translate into a higher enrollment rate.

Public sentiment at the moment is suggesting that more sexy swingers are planning on joining the PAP and People’s Association, hoping to get in on some of the action.

Lai Zhuo Ai, a 30-year-old swinger and bisexual, said: “You know what they say about the conservative ones who look plain and proper on the outside? They are usually the wildest ones.”

Handsome Eurasian resigns as Speaker of Parliament

Handsome Eurasian resigns as Speaker of Parliament

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PAP scrambles to find another poster boy

Heavily adapted from this post by Lester Cock

Former People’s Action Party (PAP) Member of Parliament (MP) Michael Palmer has resigned from his Member of Parliament seat, plunging Punggol East residents into uncertainty of whether they could find a better looking candidate to lead the constituency.

The resignation came as a shock to most Punggol East residents, who collectively experienced a sickening mindfuck as they struggled to string the phrases “PAP MP” and “horny bastard” in a single chain of thought.

The news was announced at a party press conference today, five days after the handsome Eurasian submitted his resignation last Saturday (8 Dec), when he had admitted to having an affair with a member of the People’s Association staff.

At the press conference, Mr Palmer, who was also the Speaker of Parliament, said that he had resigned to take full responsibility for the “serious error of judgment” and to “avoid further embarrassment to the PAP”.

Mr Teo Chee Hean, who flanked his beleaguered ex-party member, apologised to residents of Punggol East on behalf of the PAP. “I am very sorry that we have let the residents of Punggol East down”, Teo said.

Online critics have already started blasting Mr Michael’s resignation,

“I find that utterly irresponsible and arrogant that Palmer was taking the voters for granted,” said a regular at Palmer’s Meet-the-People’s sessions, Mr Zho Bo Lan. “His sexual performance has everything to do with his work performance. No wonder our national fertility rate so low lah, Palmer should have admitted he was campaigning for the polygamous constituency.”

“Now that he’s gone, who will fight for the men who want mistresses?” said Zho.

Minutes after the press conference was held yesterday afternoon, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong posted on his Facebook page that “both the PAP and Mr Palmer have let down all those who voted for him.” He also admitted that up till now, the PAP had not given Singaporeans a full account of what had happened.

While the law states that a by-election must be held when an MP has vacated his seat, it does not spell out a time frame within which the PM must call the by-election.

“We’re struggling to find a candidate as handsome as Mr Palmer,” said a source from the Worker’s Party. “But honestly, even Chen Show Mao is not naturally good looking. He depends heavily on his windswept salt n peppa hair to wow the ladies. Palmer was in a class of his own.”

Mr Teo Ser Luck will oversee Mr Palmer’s Punggol East constituency while Mr Charles Chong will take on the Speaker’s responsibilities until a new PAP MP is found.

“Definitely thinking of contesting in #punggoleast #byelections. Doubt there is any other #PAP member more handsome than me,” tweeted PAP’s online activist and stoned-faced actor, Tay Ping Hui.

Goodbye, Mr Handsome Eurasian. If you liked this image, you’ll probably find this post interesting too.

 

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