Tag Archive | "Lee Kuan Yew"

S’pore retires letters ‘L’, ‘K’ & ‘Y’ from alphabet into hall of fame to honour Lee Kuan Yew

S’pore retires letters ‘L’, ‘K’ & ‘Y’ from alphabet into hall of fame to honour Lee Kuan Yew

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This is to ensure no one else can have the same initials or name as him.

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As tributes continue to pour in for Lee Kuan Yew following the tribute-filled period this past week, Singapore has announced it will has retired the letters “L”, “K” and “Y” from the alphabet.

This is done to honour Lee Kuan Yew so that no one in Singapore can ever share his initials or name.

Singaporeans from all walks of life said they agree with this move as it will help cement Lee Kuan Yew’s memory in our collective consciousness as any time the letters “L”, “K” or “Y” is mentioned, it will call him to memory.

One Singaporean, Mei You Leow, said: “If Singapore is thinking of survival without Lee Kuan Yew in a post-Lee Kuan Yew era, Singaporeans must be able to get along fine with just 23 letters in the alphabet compared to 26.”

“By being able to continue to survive with 23 letters, we will prove to the world we can overcome any adversity thrown our way without Lee Kuan Yew around.”

 

 

 

 

 











Shut down ERP all over S’pore for rest of the month as mark of respect for Lee Kuan Yew

Shut down ERP all over S’pore for rest of the month as mark of respect for Lee Kuan Yew

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He would have wanted it, yes.

erp-singapore

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who believe they must not shy away from paying tribute to those who deserve it, have formally written to the government urging them to shut down all ERPs for the rest of the month as a mark of respect for the first prime minister, Lee Kuan Yew.

This after hundreds of events and tributes have been put up all over Singapore during this one-year anniversary of his passing, but none have been significant enough to impact the DNA of society like a ERP shutdown can.

One Singaporean, Yee Ah Pee, said he understands the rationale behind this gesture: “It was a difficult decision for Lee Kuan Yew to make years ago when he had to even consider allowing ERPs to operate in Singapore.”

“As we have seen so far, ERPs have brought nothing but strive and debt to thousands of people and ruined countless of lives.”

“As a mark of respect, it is imperative for both ERPs be shut down and have all their revenue for the rest of the year donated to charity.”

At press time, Singaporeans are also petitioning the government for free bus and train travel for the rest of the week.

 

 

 

 

 











Revoke S’porean citizenship of those who do not respect Lee Kuan Yew

Revoke S’porean citizenship of those who do not respect Lee Kuan Yew

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Since they don’t fancy him, they don’t deserve to live in Singapore.

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Dear New Nation,

I read with consternation this letter written by a Straits Times reader: “Take those who disrespect Lee Kuan Yew to task“.

In it, the letter writer wrote that individuals who make disparaging comments about Lee Kuan Yew must be taken to task by raising the issue with the relevant authorities or the individuals’ respective professional or governing bodies as there is zero tolerance.

I feel that this letter is disappointing and not representative of the views of true blue Singaporeans, by and large.

This is because the letter writer did not specifically say what should be done to those Singaporeans who did not go to Parliament House personally to pay their last respects to Lee Kuan Yew lying in state.

Let me quote you some shocking statistics: Over the last few days, there had been an outpouring of grief and long lines of eight-hour waiting times to pay respects to Lee Kuan Yew.

However, as of Saturday, March 28, 2015, about 330,000 people — equivalent to 10 percent of Singapore’s citizen population — have visited Parliament House to pay their respects to Lee Kuan Yew ahead of his cremation, officials said.

Think about this. Let this sink in.

This means that up to 90 percent of people in Singapore have failed to pay their last respects to Lee Kuan Yew.

90 PERCENT.

This is unacceptable.

Who are these people? Who do they think they are? Or rather, who do they think they can be without Lee Kuan Yew?

It is clear as day to me that this widespread absenteeism must be nipped in the bud.

I strongly urge the authorities to weed out these heretics and put them on a boat at the earliest hour and drive them away from Singapore into the ocean where they can be fed to the fishes.

Revoke their citizenship as they clearly do not appreciate it.

If the authorities do not swiftly act on this complaint, I will have no choice but to take matters into my own hands and seek my own resolution.

Which is to write an angry letter to the Straits Times, which I have full confidence they will publish because they publish anything, and just you wait and see.

Yours sincerely,
A Singaporean Patriot (Non-heretic)

 

 

 

 

 











Those who disrespect Lee Kuan Yew must be taken to task

Those who disrespect Lee Kuan Yew must be taken to task

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There is a limit to what you can say, says The Straits Times letter writer.

lee-kuan-yew-russian

I HAVE heard many disrespectful jokes and opinions regarding Mr Lee Kuan Yew over the past few weeks.

With his death, let all Singaporeans stop tolerating such disrespectful comments made against Mr Lee and take the individuals who make them to task, by raising the issue with the relevant authorities or the individuals’ respective professional or governing bodies.

There is a limit to freedom of expression.

Chia Boon Teck

This is a real letter published in The Straits Times Forum on March 27, 2015.

 

 

 

 

 











Silent Majority anxious about coming back out into open for Lee Kuan Yew’s 1-year death anniversary

Silent Majority anxious about coming back out into open for Lee Kuan Yew’s 1-year death anniversary

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It was tough on them showing up in public and risked getting photographed and identified.

silent-majority

The Silent Majority, who showed up in full force last year in an unprecedented display of outpouring of grief to pay their last respects to Lee Kuan Yew, are feeling increasingly anxious.

This after they realise they have to come back out from hiding as the former prime minister’s first year death anniversary is here.

Members of the Silent Majority said their initial fears of being put in the spotlight last year, as attention then will be focused on them standing for hours and forming long queues outside Parliament House where Lee Kuan Yew’s body was lying in state, were totally founded.

One Silent Majority person, who declined to be named as she doesn’t typically put herself out there like that, said: “It was a harrowing experience for me and the rest of the Silent Majority.”

“Thinking about how we now again need to publicly stand up for what we believe in, instead of hiding behind the scenes, is getting me worried.”

“We are going to be so exposed again and there will be no veil we can hide behind, no safe haven to reside and there will be cameras everywhere. There is that risk we are going to be identified.”

“But luckily there will be nightfall, so those of us who are really uncomfortable can blend into the dark, while taking a quiet stand to show our support and respect for Lee Kuan Yew.”

“Still a bit worried though that we have to come back out in the darkness to avoid being seen now that our presence is needed again.”

Other members of the Silent Majority, though, were even more coy about their experience, when asked to be interviewed.

One Silent Majority member who has been part of the low-key mainstream for the last few decades, said: “You mean you want a quote from me for an interview? I’m sorry, I don’t have any strong views about this.”

“I am really just a fence-sitter. I don’t feel like I am capable of providing you with a point-of-view.”

“Please, don’t take a photo of me. Wait for me to walk away first. Can give me a two-minute head start?”

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans react to kindergarten children made to bow to Lee Kuan Yew poster

S’poreans react to kindergarten children made to bow to Lee Kuan Yew poster

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Three thoughts that must have went past your mind at some point.

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A video secretly taken by a member of the public shows a group of kindergarten children made to bow before a Lee Kuan Yew poster at the behest of their teachers.

The children could be heard readying themselves to bow and told how to bow properly.

Here are three thoughts Singaporeans have:

 

sian-half-auntie “This shows the immaturity of the kindergarten teachers. They should know better that kneeling and prostrating is the way to go.”
Mei Jia Jiao, 42-year-old carpet maker

 

sian-half-uncle “If I saw my kid bowing before Lee Kuan Yew, I would quietly back away because I never knew I had made a woman pregnant.”
Mei Fu Qing, 63-year-old pregnancy kit distributor

 

happy-bird-girl “This is good training for the next generation of kids next time who get to bow down to Lee Hsien Loong’s poster.”
Gui Xia Lai, 17-year-old manicurist

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 











Lee Kuan Yew appears in sky, tells S’poreans paying tribute to him to go back to work as economy stalling at 2% per annum

Lee Kuan Yew appears in sky, tells S’poreans paying tribute to him to go back to work as economy stalling at 2% per annum

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We are not Australia where we can rely on natural resources, he berates hordes of well-wishers.

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A frustrated Lee Kuan Yew appeared in the sky over Singapore with arms akimbo, while looking increasingly agitated this afternoon.

This after hordes of Singaporeans from all walks of life spent their Monday going to various tribute sites located island-wide to remember the late Lee Kuan Yew by.

This caused the first prime minister of Singapore to berate his people, telling them to get their priorities right as they should be at work and not taking time off on a weekday.

A well-wisher, Kum Lan, who went to a tribute site instead of spending more time in the office, said she was told to promptly get lost by the ex-prime minister: “I was at Duxton area paying my respects to Lee Kuan Yew at one of the pop-up tribute sites because it is near my office in Tanjong Pagar.”

“And then all of a sudden, I saw Lee Kuan Yew looking at me from above. He was shining in the sky and he asked me if I was in Brisbane.”

“I said ‘No, Sir. I am proud to be Singaporean in Singapore.'”

“And then he said I should really get lost because only in Australia can people afford not to work and the economy does not stagnate.”

Other Singaporeans who were out and about thinking they can put in 20 minutes of respect-paying time were duly told to get off their laurels and haul Singapore out of the economic doldrums.

Another local, Jiak Zhua, said: “And then this familiar booming voice came from above and it said: ‘This is not a game of cards. Does the economy look like it is humming along at 10 percent per annum? Do you think your HDB monthly installments will automatically pay for itself?'”

“Upon hearing that, I felt the immediate wrath of Lee Kuan Yew bearing down on my mortal body.”

“And then Lee Kuan Yew made me promise not to leave the office until after 10pm for this week and the next, and that I shall not partake in any of the lame tribute events lined up because they do nothing for the economy.”

“I must say, he is right.”

 

 

 

 

 











S’porean family of 5 to undergo plastic surgery to look like Lee Kuan Yew as tribute

S’porean family of 5 to undergo plastic surgery to look like Lee Kuan Yew as tribute

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They feel that most Singaporeans have not gone far enough in respecting Lee Kuan Yew.

lky-family-tribute-plastic-surgery

Declaring the need to respect the late Lee Kuan Yew and keep him in their memory for all time, a Singaporean family of five will undergo plastic surgery to look like the first prime minister of Singapore.

The family, consisting of the father, mother, son and grandparents, will all undergo plastic surgery simultaneously so they will look like the late prime minister at the same time before the one-year anniversary of his passing on March 23 and also to preserve their family resemblance.

Zhen Rong, the mother, said her family is just doing what they can to pay their respects: “Singaporeans are letting the late Lee Kuan Yew’s memory slip away barely one year into his passing”

“We know that it is difficult to embody the principles that Lee Kuan Yew espouse, so we thought it is easier to just look like him and it will remind Singaporeans that Lee Kuan Yew is still here around them today.”

Other Singaporeans who heard of this family’s decision to look like Lee Kuan Yew, said they feel heartened.

One local, Tao Nao Pai, said: “I hope the family can impress upon the current PAP members and MPs that they too need to look like Lee Kuan Yew if they wish to run Singapore in a way befitting of their founder’s legacy. That way, they can start to really be like Lee Kuan Yew.”

“But so far, they have failed, but this doesn’t take away from the fact that this is perhaps one of the better tributes this week.”

 

 

 

 

 











Highly religious S’poreans unhappy Lee Kuan Yew used to push LGBT agenda

Highly religious S’poreans unhappy Lee Kuan Yew used to push LGBT agenda

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Rainbows are an affront to moral values.

lee-kuan-yew-follow-that-rainbow

Highly religious Singaporeans from that particular walk of life, who like to mind other people’s business, are taking issue with an image of Lee Kuan Yew superimposed over a rainbow.

This after the photo showing Lee Kuan Yew and the rainbow is making its appearance online these few days to mark the one-year anniversary of his passing.

One highly religious Singaporean, Qu Jiao Tang, said Singapore must remain vigilant against the LGBT forces: “Rainbows have traditionally been an affront to moral values.”

“Furthermore, the PAP has always been known to be associated with white, which is the colour of light, purity and goodness.”

“The government must step in to regulate the use of Lee Kuan Yew’s image and never allow it to push for the LGBT agenda, such as this case.”

“We must not allow the LGBT forces to misappropriate Lee Kuan Yew’s image for their community’s selfish gains.”

“The perpetrators of this photo must be brought to justice and punished.”

At press time, a crisis is breaking out in the highly religious community as they heard that white light, when passed through a prism, is broken down into its constituent gay rainbow colours.

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans disappointed only a few hundred events to be held to remember Lee Kuan Yew

S’poreans disappointed only a few hundred events to be held to remember Lee Kuan Yew

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They were expecting tens of thousands of events.

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Singaporeans from all walks of life, who love authority and are eternally grateful, are shaking their heads in disappointment.

This after they found out that only a few hundred events are being held by individuals and groups in the coming days to remember first prime minister Lee Kuan Yew, whose one-year death anniversary is coming up.

One Singaporean, Soh Nan Guo, said she never expected Singapore to be so backward in preparing for an international event like this: “I am ashamed to call myself Singaporean when I found out there will only be few hundred events to remember Lee Kuan Yew by.”

“We have let standards drop so quickly. It has not even been one year from his passing and we are already struggling to do things properly.”

“I worry about Singapore’s future and how can we proceed if we do not buck up.”

At press time, Singaporeans who feel more should be done are considering emigrating overseas out of shame.

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans demand to be punished if they said ‘Lee Kuan Yew’ without asking for govt’s permission

S’poreans demand to be punished if they said ‘Lee Kuan Yew’ without asking for govt’s permission

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This will help protect Lee Kuan Yew’s name.

lee-kuan-yew-memorial

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who believe in higher authority, must write in to the government to ask for permission before they can say the words “Lee Kuan Yew” or even mention his name in day-to-day life.

This is to protect Lee Kuan Yew’s name from being too easily uttered as part of everyday conversation or as an expression, as it will cause his name to lose its value as it transitions from holy to ordinary parlance.

As such, anyone who wants to say “Lee Kuan Yew” in private or in public must first seek permission from the government via a written request for his name to be said in passing or during a foreseeable event in the near future and wait at least two weeks for approval to be given.

Only then, can they start to make preparations for “Lee Kuan Yew” to be said, while administrative charges with GST surcharge will apply.

Singaporeans who heard of this have applauded the measure.

One Singaporean, Shuo Hua said: “Please punish us because we are so careless with our tongues and lips.”

“Or else, it will devalue Lee Kuan Yew’s name as Singaporeans did not first prepare a ceremonial procession lasting seven days, fasting beforehand and kneeling down with head bowed for at least 24 hours, before ‘Lee Kuan Yew’ is said.”

“And this will also prevent online websites from writing unsubstantiated stupid articles about ‘Lee Kuan Yew’.”

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans angry new book tries to pass off Lee Kuan Yew as a mere mortal

S’poreans angry new book tries to pass off Lee Kuan Yew as a mere mortal

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Enough of these lowering of status, they demand.

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Singaporeans from all walks of life, who know that Lee Kuan Yew is the reason they are Singaporeans, have panned the latest book about the founding leader.

The book launch of Up Close with Lee Kuan Yew at the National Gallery Singapore on March 15 was met with sighs and head-shaking as Singaporeans said the new tome tried to show that Lee Kuan Yew was only a person who had unseen sides that reveal him to be affectionate, funny, thoughtful, loving, benevolent, indefatigable, nurturing and kind, among the 300 other human attributes commonly associated with pleasant people.

One Singaporean, Ai Guo, said these supposed revelations about the revered leader fell short as they are not new updates and serve to lower his stature: “We know all that already. Singapore is Lee Kuan Yew and Lee Kuan Yew is Singapore. Having another book published is not going to change that fact.”

“I dislike how the book wants to portray Lee Kuan Yew as a person, like you and me. That’s ridiculous.”

“He is a deity and it is sacrilegious to paint him otherwise and vulgar to even think him as a mere mortal.”

“Whoever sanctioned this book must be sentenced to 15 years of hard labour.”

“What an insult to Lee Kuan Yew’s memory.”

 

 

 

 

 











Lee Kuan Yew reminds S’poreans: ‘Even civil servants must not park like assholes’

Lee Kuan Yew reminds S’poreans: ‘Even civil servants must not park like assholes’

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He had to put his foot down after hearing a commotion about bad parking antics.

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Singaporeans from all walks of life, who really think BMW drivers have a problem, are nodding their heads in agreement with a loud booming voice they heard in the afternoon.

This after they heard Lee Kuan Yew appear in the sky — as he is wont to get up when something is not right — to remind Singaporeans that, “Even civil servants do not have the right to park like assholes.”

The former prime minister of Singapore had to put his foot down and send out a reminder personally after a Facebook post showing a BMW parked in three motorcycle lots in Ghim Moh appeared a lot online.

When challenged, the errant driver had said he parked this way as he is a “civil servant”.

One Singaporean, Zheng Fu Gong, said civil servant entitlement need to be kept in checked: “If the BMW driver is a teacher, he is taking this free parking within school compound mandate too far.”

“But I agree, even if you are a civil servant, you should never park like an asshole.”

“Because even if you are not a civil servant and you made love like you parked like this BMW driver, you will get yourself in a lot of trouble, putting things where it shouldn’t belong.”

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans cry in appreciation after Lee Kuan Yew wished everyone Happy New Year over Orchard Road

S’poreans cry in appreciation after Lee Kuan Yew wished everyone Happy New Year over Orchard Road

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He also reminded Singaporeans to demolish his 38 Oxley Road house.

lee-kuan-yew-orchard-road

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who are eternally grateful to Singapore’s founding fathers for building a country to become a shopping paradise with multiple food dining options, are crying their hearts out in appreciation.

This after thousands of Singaporeans saw Lee Kuan Yew appear in the sky over Orchard Road all of a sudden on Dec. 31, 2015, as he wished everyone in Singapore a “Happy New Year”.

One Singaporean, Xing Nian, said, she was shocked to see the founding father perched over the horizon delivering his year-end greeting, while she was queuing to buy the $1.20 ice cream from the roadside cart: “I was left in shock at the sight for more than 15 minutes, which caused my ice cream to melt.”

“After that I had to queue again to buy another one. But it was worth it as I saw something extraordinary that I will remember until next year, around March or April, or until another newfangled sight catches my attention.”

Other Singaporeans said they also heard Lee Kuan Yew remind Singaporeans to demolish his 38 Oxley Road house, or else, Orchard Road will be flooded again and more trees will catch fire.

Kuai Le, said: “Lee Kuan Yew said, ‘Remember to demolish my 38 Oxley Road house. I don’t want to repeat myself again this time next year’.”

“And then he said: ‘Preserving a house for the sake of culture and heritage is but a highfalutin idea’.”