Tag Archive | "Lee Hsien Loong"

S’poreans demand to know: ‘Why didn’t we shout ‘Majulah!’ to help mend spat?’

S’poreans demand to know: ‘Why didn’t we shout ‘Majulah!’ to help mend spat?’

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If we did, none of these hard feelings would have happened.

lee-wei-ling-lee-hsien-loong

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who believe in the power of Majulah, are shaking their heads in disbelief and making hand symbols signalling they are terribly upset.

This after they realised they did not shout “Majulah!” to help mend the public spat between Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong and his sister Lee Wei Ling.

One Singaporean, Xiong Di, said: “If only Singaporeans got together to shout ‘Majulah!’ at the same time for a few hours, none of this would have happened.”

“We must start shouting ‘Majulah!’ now, so that their relationship can start to get better.”

“How come no one did a video about ‘Majulah’ to make things better? Why?”

However, not all Singaporeans are optimistic shouting “Majulah” for hours on end will aid the situation.

Another local, Jie Mei, said: “We must shout ‘Majulah!’ for more than 23 hours a day to be useful.”

“That’s when we can unleash the power of Majulah and Singapore will never have any problems or dynasties.”

Friends forever? We need Majulahs badly.

Posted by We Are Kanina on Monday, April 11, 2016

 

 

 

 

 

 





S’poreans react to PM Lee hitting 1 million Facebook Likes on his page

S’poreans react to PM Lee hitting 1 million Facebook Likes on his page

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Three thoughts that must have went past your mind at some point.

pm-lee-1-million-likes

Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong’s has reached 1 million Likes on his Facebook page.

He achieved the milestone during his week-long trip to the United States. The page crossed the mark on Wednesday, Feb. 17 evening.

In a post on Thursday afternoon, PM Lee said he had just returned to Singapore and was “surprised” to find that his page had more than a million likes.

Here are three thoughts Singaporeans have:

 

sian-half-auntie “I would die for one million Facebook Likes instead of for Singapore.”
Xian Shi, 44-year-old philosopher

 

sian-half-uncle “Roy Ngerng can sue because clearly his blog posts did not harm PM Lee’s popularity.”
Shang Fa Ting, 65-year-old court clerk

 

happy-bird-girl “Lee Kuan Yew was still the better prime minister despite having zero Facebook Likes.”
Lee Zhong Li, 19-year-old class president

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 











PM Lee Hsien Loong wore pink shirt to meet gay man in US

PM Lee Hsien Loong wore pink shirt to meet gay man in US

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This photo has been met with widespread opprobrium from highly religious Singaporeans.

pm-lee-tim-cook-apple

A major crisis has broken out in Singapore causing highly religious Singaporeans to consider denouncing their Singapore citizenship, unplugging from the Internet altogether, going back to barter trade and using stone and bronze tools.

This after they found out that Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong went to the US and wore a pink shirt to meet prominent gay man, Apple’s CEO Tim Cook.

This has caused the highly religious people in Singapore who are iPhone users and who support the PAP regime, to come to the realisation that they have been financing the gay lifestyle of Apple’s CEO, having purchased his company’s products, such as the popular iPhone 6s and 6s Plus, Apple tablets and MacBooks and now face the prospect of saluting a prime minister who has come into contact with a homosexual.

Currently, some 70 percent of smartphone users in Singapore uses an Apple iPhone, which is the same percentage of Singaporeans who voted for the PAP regime in the General Election 2015.

Yeshu Aini, a local religious person, said: “My entire life is in disarray. I have all along been an Apple and Lee Hsien Loong fan and bought the iPhone 5 and 6 that were developed under Tim Cook’s charge and voted for the PAP.”

“Therefore, I have been directly contributing to sin by financing it. This has allowed homosexuality to thrive.”

“No wonder this latest 5.5-inch iPhone 6s Plus feels so good in my hands. It is because this is the average length of the male anatomy.”

Local magician Lawrence Khong is expected to take to the pulpit on Sunday to encourage his flock to switch to using pay phones from now on, or even better, denounce technology altogether as a whole to be Satan’s work.

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans fail to give up seat to elderly couple on MRT train

S’poreans fail to give up seat to elderly couple on MRT train

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They say they feel entitled to sit down.

lee-hsien-loong-ho-ching-mrt

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who enjoy taking public transport because cars are for rich people, have refused to get up from their seats on the MRT train.

This after they saw an elderly couple enter the train but refused to budge to let them sit down.

One Singaporean, Tah Dee Tieh, said he does not see anything wrong with not giving up his seat to this elderly couple: “They don’t look like they belong here in the first place.”

Other Singaporeans said they would think twice about giving up their seats to this elderly couple as they are not sure if they deserve it.

One other local, Wa Mai, said: “Actually, they should even give up their standing space to other commuters who need it more.”

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans successfully rename Lee Hsien Loong as 1 Lee Kuan Yew Son

S’poreans successfully rename Lee Hsien Loong as 1 Lee Kuan Yew Son

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This shows that Singaporeans embrace creativity.

pm-lee-mandate

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who embrace creativity by coming up with imaginative names, have successfully renamed Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong as 1 Lee Kuan Yew Son.

This after they learnt that creativity can be expressed by renaming Compass Point shopping mall as 1 Sengkang Mall in a bid to showcase a flair in thinking out of the box.

One Singaporean, Gai Ming Zi, said: “Singaporeans are beginning to embrace the culture of being more creative by performing their own name changes and they are doing this out of their own volition.”

“Therefore, a group of Singaporeans have decided to rename Lee Hsien Loong as 1 Lee Kuan Yew Son, following the rich culture established and precedent set by 1 Sengkang Mall.”

Other Singaporeans said the name change will mark a shift in thinking about 1 Lee Kuan Yew Son.

Chuan Tong, another local, said: “We Singaporeans took a long time to conceptualise and approve of this new name.”

“To name him as 1 Lee Kuan Yew Son will better help younger Singaporeans situate him within a historical context so that we don’t forget his roots.”

At press time, there are plans to rename President Tony Tan as 1 Popularly Elected President Who Barely Won The Popular Vote By A Few Votes.

 

 

 

 

 











Blogger to pay $150,000 in damages in monthly payouts of $50, after PM Lee turns 65

Blogger to pay $150,000 in damages in monthly payouts of $50, after PM Lee turns 65

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Compensation for damages to be settled according to how CPF functions.

roy-ngerng-bw

A new compensation scheme has been worked out for the blogger who has been successfully sued by Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong for writing lengthy blog posts.

Another self-designated lawyer, who is not M Ravi, has worked out a payment scheme for the blogger to make compensation.

The lawyer, Kong Chee Kim, said: “Since Roy Ngerng has been ordered to pay $150,000 in damages, he has worked out a method to disburse the sum as monthly payouts of $50.”

“And this monthly payout will only start when PM Lee hits 65 years old, which is in two years’ time in 2017.”

“In the meantime, the blogger will pay an interest rate that is slightly lower than the annual inflation rate per year for holding on to the $150,000 sum until 2017.”

“But the blogger must also ensure that he is always holding on to $150,000 minimum sum and any payout will only be possible, if it is above this sum.”

“And when PM Lee hits 65, the age limit could be changed to 67.”

 

 

 

 

 











70% of S’poreans: ‘Put up Lee Hsien Loong’s face on posters island-wide to deflect haze’

70% of S’poreans: ‘Put up Lee Hsien Loong’s face on posters island-wide to deflect haze’

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This measure helped keep haze at bay during GE2015 hustings period.

Photo stolen from here

Photo stolen from here

Singaporeans from 70 percent walks of life have come out to propose a scientific method of deflecting the haze away from Singapore: Put up Lee Hsien Loong’s posters all over Singapore again.

This after it was realised that the haze was kept at bay during the General Election 2015 hustings in the first week of September and this effect can be attributed to the appearance of Lee Hsien Loong’s face island-wide.

One Singaporean, Poh Lan Pah, who made this discovery, said: “We must put up Lee Hsien Loong’s face all over the island again to deflect the haze.”

“The last time we did it, there was no haze as Lee Hsien Loong personally protected Singapore with his face.”

Other Singaporeans who heard of this method said they are wholly supportive of it but more can be done.

Kee Chiak Hong, another local, said: “The last time round during GE2015, there was an extra day of public holiday for Polling Day.”

“That must have been one of the measures to protect Singapore from the haze.”

“Singapore would, therefore, need another public holiday now as the last time round a free public holiday helped keep the haze at bay.”

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans react to Lee Hsien Loong’s comment that opposition’s story line ‘went against human nature’

S’poreans react to Lee Hsien Loong’s comment that opposition’s story line ‘went against human nature’

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Three thoughts that must have went past your mind at some point.

pm-lee-singapore-summit-2015-comment

Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong spoke to 400 policymakers and business leaders at the Singapore Summit at the Marina Bay Sands on Friday, Sept. 18, 2015.

He said:

I would say that voters approved of what we did and took the view that they wanted us to continue on the track which we were doing. And that the best way to do this is to send us a signal that they approve of what we did. That’s the most straightforward way in which to develop a relationship and to build a bond and to make the system work.

The opposition had a different storyline. They said, ‘The government is doing good, you vote for us, the government will work even harder’. I think that is a very dangerous approach. It goes against human nature. I mean, if you have a friend, and your friend is nice to you, you’re nice to him or her. And I think most Singaporeans agree with us that the way to build a relationship and to develop a close bond for the future was to work with the government.

Here are three thoughts Singaporeans have:

 

sian-half-auntie “Lee Hsien Loong was the one who said ‘Vote for PAP to make opposition work harder’ during his GE2015 lunchtime rally.”
Gong Jiao Wei, 45-year-old foreign language teacher

 

sian-half-uncle “His dad wrote plenty of books with comments that went against human nature.”
Leow See Gan, 64-year-old watch repairman

 

happy-bird-girl “He will stop saying things like this only when we stop paying attention to him.”
Mei Hua Shuo, 17-year-old counsellor

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans react to Lee Hsien Loong jump shot

S’poreans react to Lee Hsien Loong jump shot

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Three thoughts that must have went past your mind at some point.

lee-hsien-loong-jump-shot

A group of NTU students collected a few hundred letters of appreciation from Singaporeans here and abroad during the national mourning period for Lee Kuan Yew and put them into a book.

The book was presented to Lee Hsien Loong on Sept, 16, 2015 — on Lee Kuan Yew’s 92nd birthday — who then proceeded to take a jump shot with the students and posted the photo on his Facebook page.

Attempted a jump shot with the students. Glad the knees are still working. :) (PMO Photo by Alex Qiu)

Posted by Lee Hsien Loong on Wednesday, September 16, 2015

 

Here are three thoughts Singaporeans have:

 

sian-half-auntie “He’s just testing how soon can Singapore call for a by-election if anything untoward happened to him.”
Teo Lai Xiong, 42-year-old medicinal hall practitioner

 

sian-half-uncle “When you have 70 percent mandate of the people, you can afford to take some time goofing off without any fear of being reproached.”
Jin Ho Sng, 63-year-old ex-circus trainer

 

happy-bird-girl “It’d have been cooler if the jump shot was with Tharman Shanmugaratnam.”
Yin Du Ren, 16-year-old card lamination staff

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 











Voters upset they won’t hear Lee Hsien Loong say sorry as SDP beat PAP to CBD lunchtime rally slot

Voters upset they won’t hear Lee Hsien Loong say sorry as SDP beat PAP to CBD lunchtime rally slot

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What a waste, they said.

lee-hsien-loong-lunchtime-rally

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who like it when people who make mistakes admit their error, said they are feeling upset that the Singapore Democratic Party has beaten the People’s Action Party to the lunchtime rally slot at the promenade area beside UOB Plaza near Boat Quay on Monday, Sept. 7, from noon to 2pm.

This after many voters said they had taken leave specially to attend the rally, while many others had planned to skip lunch as they had personally wanted to listen to Lee Hsien Loong say sorry.

One disappointed voter, Zhen Shi Wang, said: “When I saw Lee Hsien Loong say sorry back in GE2011 and admit that his party had made errors, I felt very happy, first as a Singaporean, then as a voter.”

“Even more so when I eventually voted for the Workers’ Party instead.”

However, not all Singaporeans are looking forward to the apology alone.

Other Singaporeans said witnessing PAP politicians admit to the electorate that they had not done as well as expected and then pleading with voters to be given another chance at political office will always be a sight to behold.

Another local, Qu Tou Piao, said: “I’m so not used to all these attention that PAP politicians are showering on me as a voter this past GE2015 week, especially when I’ve been neglected by them the last four years.”

“But I feel empowered seeing political leaders grovel for votes.”

“It’s all very cathartic.”

At press time, other voters are betting on which PAP candidates will be crying during rallies.

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans react to PM Lee Hsien Loong’s face on GE2015 campaigning banners all over S’pore

S’poreans react to PM Lee Hsien Loong’s face on GE2015 campaigning banners all over S’pore

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Three thoughts that must have went past your mind at some point.

pm-lee-banner-ge2015

The Elections Department (ELD) clarified on Sept. 3 that it is not illegal to use the face of a political party’s leader in the posters of a constituency they are not contesting in.

This after other opposition political parties took issue with seeing Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong’s face placed all over Singapore on campaigning banners.

ELD pointed out: “Under the law, the face of the political party’s leader can be used in the posters for the candidates standing for that political party, since voters would be able to identify the political party leader with that political party. This has been the practice in past elections.”

Here are three thoughts Singaporeans have:

 

sian-half-auntie “If the PAP can do it, I’m surprised there was even this need for clarification as they are the law.”
Zho Cheng Hu, 43-year-old civil servant

 

sian-half-uncle “I noticed this pattern where people from the Lee family like to have their face plastered everywhere in Singapore.”
Pai Zhao, 61-year-old photographer

 

happy-bird-girl “PM Lee should contest in all 89 seats since he is so talented and Singaporeans wouldn’t have to pay the rest of the PAP MPs who are obviously lousy and untalented.”
Qu Guo Hui, 18-year-old part-time model

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans react to PM Lee calling opposition a mouse in Parliament

S’poreans react to PM Lee calling opposition a mouse in Parliament

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Three thoughts that must have went past your mind at some point.

opposition-mouse-PM-Lee

Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong said on Sept. 1 that the opposition in parliament has put in a disappointing performance even though they were voted in to be a tiger in a chamber, but ended up being a “mouse in the House”.

PM Lee, the party’s secretary-general, said it was “very easy” to make fierce and rousing speeches at election rallies, where candidates can promise to do things if elected but none of those issues are raised when they come to Parliament.

Here are three thoughts Singaporeans have:

 

sian-half-auntie “If the opposition is a mouse, then East Coast GRC MP Raymond Lim was a dead mouse the last four years.”
Ya Pah, 45-year-old speech therapist

 

sian-half-uncle “Having a few mice in parliament really helps break up the monotony of a room full of swines.”
Zhu Ba Jie, 62-year-old butcher

 

happy-bird-girl “PAP MPs didn’t give rousing election speeches, which explain why they aren’t even mice. They are potatoes.”
Mah Ling Su, 17-year-old fast food service staff

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans say: ‘We’ll still remember Lee Kuan Yew 50 years from now but not Lee Hsien Loong’

S’poreans say: ‘We’ll still remember Lee Kuan Yew 50 years from now but not Lee Hsien Loong’

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Heartwarming.

national-day-rally-2015-LHL

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who took out a tissue and dabbed away at the tears from their eyes as they watched the National Day Rally 2015 on Aug. 23, 2015, said they will always remember Lee Kuan Yew even 50 years down the road.

However, they said they will have trouble remembering Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong.

This after the achievements of Lee Kuan Yew were trotted out again at the NDR and audiences were left flabbergasted at how a man could have achieved so much while his son barely scraped the surface.

One Singaporean, Mei Chu Xi, said: “I will always remember Lee Kuan Yew and his achievements even at SG100. If you asked me who Lee Hsien Loong is then, I will not be able to give you an answer because I will really don’t remember.”

Other Singaporeans said there is a silver lining even if Singaporeans said they will not be able to remember PM Lee Hsien Loong in the future.

Wang Bu Leow, another local, said: “At least Singaporeans will say they remember Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong for not doing much for Singapore.”

“That is considered quite good already.”

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans react to PM Lee Hsien Loong’s National Day Rally 2015

S’poreans react to PM Lee Hsien Loong’s National Day Rally 2015

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Three thoughts that must have went past your mind at some point.

national-day-rally-2015

Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong used the National Day Rally 2015 on Sunday, Aug. 23, 2015, to harp on the results his team has delivered for Singaporeans the last 10 years.

These results include making healthcare less expensive, strengthening social safety nets and having more education opportunities.

The rally also featured a performance by Kit Chan, who sang Home.

Here are three thoughts Singaporeans have:

 

sian-half-auntie “This might as well have been National Lee Kuan Yew Rally given the number of times he got mentioned.”
Li Zhong Li, 46-year-old kueh maker

 

sian-half-uncle “I was actually looking forward to the section where PM Lee explains the things PAP did not achieve for Singaporeans.”
Mei Chen Jiu, 66-year-old ex-businessman

 

happy-bird-girl “It’s always funny to watch PAP get 60 percent of votes despite having such a big platform to canvass for support.”
Qu Tou Piao, 17-year-old charity worker

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 











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