Tag Archive | "kong hee"

S’poreans cheerfully wish Kong Hee: ‘Kong Hee Jiak Sai’

S’poreans cheerfully wish Kong Hee: ‘Kong Hee Jiak Sai’

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Spread some festive cheer.

kong-hee-fatt-choy-cropped

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who like to spread a little festive cheer even to people they don’t like, have come out to wish Kong Hee a Happy Chinese New Year.

This after they saw a video where the City Harvest co-founders Kong Hee and Sun Ho wished Singaporeans a “Kong Hee Fatt Choy”.

One Singaporean, Qu Zuo Lao, said: “‘Kong Hee Jiak Sai’ to you too.”

“There is no doubt you’ll still be rich after you’ve come out of prison.”

Other Singaporeans said the husband-and-wife duo’s message is appropriate as this is Sun Ho’s year.

Another Singaporean, Lao Gao, said: “It’s nice that the ‘Ho’ in Sun Ho sounds just like the Chinese word for ‘monkey’.”

“Since this is the Year of the Monkey, this is her year.”

 

 

 

 

 











City Harvest Church goers apologise to Kong Hee for causing him to be found guilty of fraud

City Harvest Church goers apologise to Kong Hee for causing him to be found guilty of fraud

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They said they should have given him more money then none of this would have happened.

sun-ho-kong-hee-city-harvest

Thousands of City Harvest Church goers from that particular walk of life, who believe they are walking with their saviour, bowed their heads low and closed their eyes in anguish as they repeatedly said they are sorry.

This after they apologised to City Harvest Church founder Kong Hee for causing him to be found guilty of fraud with five other current and former leaders of the church.

One church goer, Yeshu Aini, said the responsibility is his to bear: “It is my fault. I should have given 50 percent of my monthly allowance to Kong Hee instead of just 30 percent.”

“I was too stingy and this caused him to do unlawful things to find ways to get more money to give to God.”

“I can only blame myself.”

Other church goers said there can be no one else left to blame for Kong Hee’s predicament but those who were still present in the congregation.

The church goer, Qu Jiao Tang, said: “We must blame all those who are still in the church now and were here all along, because those who left, have obviously absolved themselves of responsibility.”

“But look at us. We are still in this congregation and we have been and are still able to help, but it looks like we haven’t tried hard enough.”

“If we put our hearts and minds into it, we could have made a difference and Pastor Kong Hee wouldn’t be in trouble.”

“It is really the congregation’s mistake. And for that we are sorry, Pastor Kong Hee.”

At press time, current church goers said they will borrow money to give to the church if it makes the place better.

 

 

 

 

 











City Harvest Church goer forgives S’poreans, govt for maligning church, leaders

City Harvest Church goer forgives S’poreans, govt for maligning church, leaders

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We must pray for those who go against City Harvest Church, Kong Hee and Sun Ho.

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Dear New Nation Editors,

I am deeply saddened by the reactions of my fellow Singaporeans to the guilty verdict of my dearest pastor Kong Hee.

As a long time member of City Harvest Church, the public clearly does not understand the sacrifices he has had to make in the name of God.

When I first received Sun Ho’s Chinese pop CD in 2003, I thought to myself: “What kind of devil’s music is this?”

But as I listened more, it began to dawn on me that I was being overly prudish and she was actually spreading the word of God in the form of Satan-worshipping music to beat the devil at his own game.

Indeed, the more involved I became at the Church, the more I began to understand that I could not even begin to comprehend God’s plan and the plans pastor Kong had for me, the church, its congregation and Singapore as a whole.

You see, I am but mortal. Pastor Kong is The Chosen One.

Without his light shining like a beacon of conscience, the gays, prostitutes and the opposition would start to take over Singapore. Satan would then have a hub to take over the world.

So it was with deep love that I decided to dedicate 30 percent of my husband’s salary each month to help fund Sun Ho’s music career as part of the Crossover Project.

As a good Christian, I have an obligation to my saviour to spread his message: From Singapore to Malaysia, to Taiwan, to China and even to the town of sin, Hollywood.

It must have been extremely difficult for Pastor Kong to see his wife in such disgusting states of undress in public all the time when she was there and for her to live in the heart of the most unholy places on Earth, Beverly Hills.

I’ve watched the TV series 90210 when I was younger. These people have no morals.

But like lepers, the Man and Woman of God must go to the sick to heal the sick.

People outside the church don’t understand us and are so quick to condemn when they haven’t experienced God through His music, sung to thumping beats and a negro man speaking in tongues at the beginning of the song.

I do not understand how “China Wine” or being a Geisha is related to God’s work, but as I said, I’m only mortal. God has a plan, even when I don’t understand. Even when it involves S$23 million. S$50 million. Or a glass manufacturing company.

If Pastor Kong was using that money, it must be God’s will.

Jesus preaches forgiveness, and therefore, we must forgive even if we don’t want to.

So, I forgive the government and the public for misunderstanding and maligning the church.

There’s a special place in hell for people who say nasty things about Kong Hee and an even worse one for those that framed God’s chosen workers.

I pray that it will be like Sodom and Gonorrhea.

Yours truly,
Conservative Nazi

 

 

 

 

 











Kong Hee wants to sell house for S$10m because God stays there regularly

Kong Hee wants to sell house for S$10m because God stays there regularly

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His temporary home on Earth is no ordinary home.

The-Oceanfront-kong-hee

City Harvest Church founder Kong Hee has once again caused quite a sensation when it was revealed in The Straits Times that he has put up his luxurious penthouse family home in Sentosa Cove for sale for S$10 million.

However, it has been discovered that his house is so expensive because God Himself personally stays there from time to time.

One regular church-goer, Yeshu Aini, said: “This is no ordinary home. It is deity-approved.”

“This explains why his house can be so expensive: Because his unit is facing the sea. God Himself can take a walk across the surface of the water there as it is convenient to carry out such miracles.”

However, others blame Sentosa’s overvalued parcels of land for the high selling price.

See Lin Chu, a local, said: “If Singapore didn’t have such kinds of super expensive houses, Kong Hee wouldn’t have been able to directly communicate with God.”

“Having this home really allowed him to get in touch regularly with his godly side.”

“Really makes you want to lead your own congregation too.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 





























































City Harvest Kong Hee went home to kneel on durian husk for half an hour due to ST headline

City Harvest Kong Hee went home to kneel on durian husk for half an hour due to ST headline

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The passion of Kong Hee. Very atonement. Much forgiveness.

kong-hee-durian

A collective “Oooh” was overheard in Singapore on Jan. 28, 2015, when The Straits Times‘ headlines splashed in bold, “Kong Hee ‘lacked full faith’ in wife’s music”.

Sources familiar with such situations said that it doesn’t look like any marital conflict can be resolved easily or overnight.

Gui Lew Lian, a married man in his 40s, said any man in Kong Hee’s position will be expected to do a lot of grovelling at home when he gets back and volunteer to kneel on durian husks as a sign of contrition, especially if he expects to sleep in the same bed as his wife at night: “I think Kong Hee might need to buy a nice pendant or necklace before going home and also volunteer to do some house work like vacuuming the floor, before attempting to talk to his wife.”

Others, who recognise the situation the City Harvest founder is in, concurred.

Swee Sa Fa, another man in his 40s, said: “This one is really sabo. I don’t think Kong Hee even saw it coming.”

“The best way to approach this is for him to volunteer sleeping on the sofa for at least three nights.”

“This will allow his wife to let off some steam.”

 

More City Harvest news:

Kong Hee airfares cost $700,000 because he flew to Heaven regularly

Sun Ho’s phone bill costs $130,000 because she called God regularly

City Harvest Church goers regret not paying Sun Ho half million dollars to stop singing

 

 

 

 

 





City Harvest Church accused should just plead guilty as it speaks well of their religion

City Harvest Church accused should just plead guilty as it speaks well of their religion

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To be humble before the courts is the best proselytising message ever.

kong-hee-chc

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who look up to people who take responsibility for their actions as it is a virtue, said they would want to see the six City Harvest Church accused plead guilty before the court and put an end to the current trial that is a waste on taxpayers’ money.

This after one of the accused had said in court on Aug. 18, 2014, that church founder Kong Hee is a liar.

Jiang Pian Hua, a Singaporean, said: “If all of them just plead guilty and say they will take full responsibility before the court, Singaporeans will be more convinced that their religion is the one for everyone because it preaches being humble.”

“This will also set a good example as it means you are putting your lives in the hands of the Almighty one and let divine nature run its course.”

Other locals said pleading guilty before the courts sets a good example, as there is an element of atonement that runs parallel with some of the themes from The Good Book.

Qu Jiao Tang, another local said: “Singaporeans will think, ‘Wow! That’s such a magnanimous thing to do. The tenets of their teaching must be from somewhere really humble.'”

“It will also be the strongest proselytising message they can send out.”

 

In other news to prove that God exists:
Serina Wee GIFs prove God exists, ends 2,000-year-old debate

City Harvest Church goers blame themselves for Kong Hee’s predicament

City Harvest Church goers blame themselves for Kong Hee’s predicament

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They say they should have just given him the money instead of to the church.

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City Harvest Church members are blaming themselves for their church founder’s predicament.

This after their church founder Kong Hee took the stand for the first time on Aug. 11, 2014, in a long-running trial over the alleged misuse of $50 million of church funds.

Qu Jiao Tang, a church goer, said: “We should have given him a bigger house at Sentosa Cove and invited everyone all over the world to Singapore. Then he wouldn’t have to get Sun Ho to spread the gospel through her skimpy dressing and provocative dance moves.”

“Imagine how bad he must feel to always see his wife in various states of undress, gyrating in public?”

Another fellow member, Xing Ye Shu, said he feels worse as this court case could have been prevented from the start: “As our rancher and we as his sheeple, it would have only been right for us to have given him all our money directly without funneling it to the church.”

“Then none of this court thing would have happened.”

“We are sorry, Rancher Kong Hee. If we don’t blame ourselves, we’re not true believers.”

 

What has China Wine wrought:
Sun Ho’s ‘China Wine’ saved at least two souls since 2007

Kong Hee’s airfares cost $700,000 because he flew to Heaven regularly

Kong Hee’s airfares cost $700,000 because he flew to Heaven regularly

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And travel records show Singapore Airlines charges exorbitant prices to fly that route.

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City Harvest Church founder Kong Hee caused quite a sensation when it was revealed in court documents that he spent $700,000 on airfares alone.

However, it has been discovered that his airfares are so expensive because he personally flies to Heaven to meet God Himself.

One regular church-goer, Yeshu Aini, said: “It is not appropriate to break bread with the Father over Skype.”

Others blame Singapore Airlines for the hefty costs.

Fang Fei Ji, a local, said: “Singapore Airlines charge so expensive, most Singaporeans also cannot afford to take. You ask around, how many Singaporeans have actually flown SQ before?”

“Actually, come to think of it, $700,000 might in fact be a steal.”

 

 

 

 

 











Kong Hee airfares cost $700,000 because he flew to Heaven regularly

Kong Hee airfares cost $700,000 because he flew to Heaven regularly

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And travel records show Singapore Airlines charges exorbitant prices to fly that route.

kong-hee-02

City Harvest Church founder Kong Hee caused quite a sensation when it was revealed in court documents that he spent $700,000 on airfares alone.

However, it has been discovered that his airfares are so expensive because he personally flies to Heaven to meet God Himself.

One regular church-goer, Yeshu Aini, said: “It is not appropriate to break bread with the Father over Skype.”

Others blame Singapore Airlines for the hefty costs.

Fang Fei Ji, a local, said: “Singapore Airlines charge so expensive, most Singaporeans also cannot afford to take. You ask around, how many Singaporeans have actually flown SQ before?”

“Actually, come to think of it, $700,000 might in fact be a steal.”

 

And his wife:

Sun Ho’s phone bill costs $130,000 because she called God regularly

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans help Kong Hee condemn Sun Ho website hacker

S’poreans help Kong Hee condemn Sun Ho website hacker

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They say what the hacker did was indeed very, very bad.

sun-ho-hacked

City Harvest Church founder Kong Hee has openly condemned the hacker who attacked his wife Sun Ho’s website on Monday.

The website, www.heyaosun.com, was attacked by a hacker called “The Messiah”, who threatened to expose Sun Ho’s “hidden agenda” and release her personal data into the public domain, unless she “confess” to her “crimes”.

Kong Hee said he was “very concerned” that the hacker’s statements “appear to have been intended to cause readers to influence and pre-judge the issues in the criminal proceedings that are presently on-going”.

Singaporeans from all walks of life agree with Kong Hee that the hacker did something very, very naughty.

Hen Huai Dan, a Singaporean said while shaking his head solemnly: “Ya, this hacker is very bad. This is unforgivable. What he did is worse than spending $700,000 on air fares for himself.”

Another local, Long Hu Pang, said while tsk tsking: “Oh my god, this hacker is horrible. His actions are worse than spending $10 million to make an album that never got released.”

Tou Dong Xi, another local, said with furrowed brows: “This hacker is a threat to humanity. He did something that is worse than round tripping $50 million.”

S’poreans hit back at Kong Hee’s spokesperson’s condescending tone

S’poreans hit back at Kong Hee’s spokesperson’s condescending tone

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Singaporeans say: “And I thought Jesus said love they neighbour as thyself?”

Ooooooh ooh ooh ooh-oo-oo-ooo-oo-ooh you can dance, you can jive

Ooooooh ooh ooh ooh-oo-oo-ooo-oo-ooh you can dance, you can jive

Singaporeans from all walks of life and with varying levels of secularism have hit back at City Harvest Church corporate communications department for their condescending tone.

The spokesperson’s condescending tone was captured in an article just published in The Christian Post, which is the religious version of Huffington Post.

The pastor’s spokesperson issued the statement in an attempt to rebut critics who are outraged by a video supposedly showing Kong Hee saying God apologised to him (video below).

The condescending statement which was sent via the City Harvest Church’s Corporate Communications Department read:

“As anyone with a basic education in the English language ought to be able to tell that the use of ‘I’m so sorry’ here is not in the context of an apology, but a word of comfort, for example, ‘I’m so sorry about your mother’s suffering,’ or ‘I’m so sorry you need to go through chemotherapy’.”

This has led to some Singaporeans reacting badly.

One Singaporean, Yeshu Aini, said: “As anyone with a basic education in the English language ought to be able to tell that the spokesperson’s statement is not in the context of a clarification, but an attempt at condescension, for example, ‘I’m so sorry that you are uneducated,’ or ‘I’m so sorry you need to go through primary school again.”

“And I thought Jesus said love they neighbour as thyself? I’m pretty sure He didn’t say “Be condescending to your neighbour via the news press”.”

Apply aloe vera on Kong Hee’s burnt areas

Apply aloe vera on Kong Hee’s burnt areas

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Pour cold water too.

Even as his legal woes get compounded by the possibility of forever not being able to head a charity body as a result of allegedly performing sorcery on church funds, City Harvest Church pastor Kong Hee is still taking to Twitter to connect with whoever it is that is following him on Twitter.

But check out the 11 comebacks to Kong Hee’s tweets stolen from @gweezilla, and the epic burns they have caused.

1. Reminder that Singapore still has a reputable justice system
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2. Should have tagged SingTel too
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3.Solitary confinement anybody?
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4. Christians do take things too literally sometimes
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5.If you trust God, you’d trust his plans
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6. Self-ownage
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7. The danger of relying on cliches
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8. Burn
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9. Another burn
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10. Another massive burn
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11. EPIC MASSIVE BURN POUR COLD WATER AND APPLY ALOE VERA
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Moderate Satanists offering financial assistance to Kong Hee and Friends

Moderate Satanists offering financial assistance to Kong Hee and Friends

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However, they are going to run the idea of raising funds past Commissioner of Charities first.

This family of three Satanists are so publicity-shy they requested that only their photos be taken from the back, at 100 metres distance. The husband is known to help out twice a week at Meet-The-People sessions, while the wife is in the banking industry and donates money regularly to NKF.

In an ecumenical move to spruce up inter-faith understanding and dialogue in Singapore, a group of moderate Singaporean Satanists are banding together to offer financial assistance to Pastor Kong Hee and Friends from City Harvest to subsidise the cost of their legal woes, as they’ve hired very expensive lawyers to defend them against charges of misusing church funds.

This unusual move comes after it was reported that the Commissioner of Charities has warned City Harvest Church that neither the church nor its Christian members should be raising funds or appealing for donations to pay for the hefty legal fees of Kong Hee and Friends.

S.A. Tan, the official spokesperson for Knights In Satan’s Service (KISS), one of Singapore’s official Satanist organisations, said: “We, as moderate Satanists, are not as evil as we are made out to be in Hollywood movies and the Bible.”

He explained: “This is just an opportunity to show that each and everyone of us who have religion — regardless if you are Satanist, Christian or Jedi — can always put our faith aside and work together to solve problems and help one another.”

However, not everyone is convinced.

Some have questioned if offering financial assistance to Kong Hee and Friends comes with terms attached and if it is the same as the story of Satan tempting Jesus in the desert?

Tan, objecting to this stereotype, said: “No, definitely not. Look, the government is always very big on inter-faith understanding, which is something Satanists here actively support and promote in our capacity as Singapore is a multi-religious society.”

He also said: “We are always very happy to work and associate with others. However, what we feel is that there is very little representation whenever there are round-table discussions and all the other faiths get to participate at our exclusion.”

He continued: “We just want to be of help to others too, because it’s I who build community.”

Many of the Satanists in Singapore are prominent, moderate individuals, who are also publicity-shy. They are outnumbered by other religions as their members number to about 100 only.

Roughly half of them are in banking while the rest are lawyers, doctors, white-collar professionals and engineers, including one prominent MediaCorp actress and the owner of a chain of bubble tea shops.

At least two of these Satanists are known to help out twice a week at Meet-The-People sessions and they have forked out their own money to give to the poor to tide them over periods of hardship.

Which is unlike Singapore Press Holdings, which only gives low-income families newspapers.

Tan explained: “Many of us are law-abiding, tax-paying, “Singaporean-First mentality” types. We work hard at our jobs, assimilate into everyday life, take out the thrash, eat at hawker centres and pay for exorbitant COEs too, you know.”

But before they raise funds, the moderate Satanists want to abide by the law and get necessary permission from the relevant authorities.

Tan said: “We will play by ear and do things by the book. We will let the Commissioner of Charities know of our intention and state publicly our stand and let the authorities and the court of public opinion decide.”

Singaporeans organise farewell Tupperware parties…

Singaporeans organise farewell Tupperware parties…

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… as Kong Hee bids adieu.

A group of Singaporeans are planning several farewell Tupperware parties all over the island over the next few days.

This comes after they received news late yesterday that the court is allowing Pastor Kong Hee of City Harvest Church to leave Singapore because he allegedly has to move around the Southeast Asia region for pastoral engagements.

Kong’s bail has been raised to $1 million, making it look like a hefty sum given that he and his wife live in a $9.3 million Sentosa Cove house.

One Tupperware party organiser, Jiak Liao Bee, said she and her friends and relatives are hosting Tupperware parties to applaud the fairness of this decision.

Jiak said, while clapping slowly and making that tsk-tsk sound: “It is only right that someone embroiled in the biggest charity scandal should be allowed to go overseas. He is unlike Chee Soon Juan from SDP, who is bankrupt and barred from travel, when he can barely afford to fly.”

Speculation has also been rife over the past 12 hours as to whether Kong Hee or Jesus will return back first.

In view of this mood, the pot-luck Tupperware feasts will also consist of fellowship, where there will be singing of some handpicked karaoke songs dedicated to the occasion.

These include Here Without You by 3 Doors Down, Don’t Look Back In Anger by Oasis and the perennial classic, Leaving On A Jet Plane by John Denver.