Tag Archive | "istana"

S’poreans confident Uniqlo poised to take over Istana at this rate of expansion

S’poreans confident Uniqlo poised to take over Istana at this rate of expansion

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They stand a chance as a political party too.


Singaporeans from all walks of life, who used to wear Giordano clothing, are feeling confident on Uniqlo’s behalf.

This after Uniqlo announced that they are opening their newest biggest store at Orchard Central.

This prompted Singaporeans to voice their support for Uniqlo’s ambitious plans as there is a shortage of outlets island-wide with only 24 of them in Singapore.

Tuo Yi Fu, a Singaporean said: “Looks like President Tony Tan will have to clear out from the Istana soon at this rate Uniqlo is expanding.”

“They will take over every square inch of Singapore and become bigger than Lee Kuan Yew in time to come.”

Other Singaporeans said taking over the presidential palace is not the only achievement the clothing retailer can look forward to.

Another local, Zuo Zhong Tong, said: “Uniqlo must take over and form the next government and president.”

“At least they can provide for Singaporeans in a way the current president never will.”

“And then Singaporeans will feel very unique in their Uniqlo clothing.”






Owl returns to Istana, tells PM Lee: ‘I’m Harry’s owl’

Owl returns to Istana, tells PM Lee: ‘I’m Harry’s owl’

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More needs to be done to educate Singaporeans about owls.


Singaporeans from all walks of life, who have varying levels of belief in magic, are applauding and nodding their heads in approval.

This after the owl that broke into the Istana two years ago but was later arrested and thrown back out into the wild, has come back again, saying: “I’m Harry’s owl”.

The owl’s presence has since been acknowledged and an image of it has been posted on PM Lee Hsien Loong’s Facebook.

One Singaporean, Aw Weh, said: “This owl clearly has a message for PM Lee: It is Harry’s owl. Can’t believe the prime minister actually threw it out two years ago.”

Other Singaporeans said more needs to be done to remind locals here of Singapore’s past so that owls can be treated with more respect.

Her Mai Nee, a local, said: “Hello? How can anyone not know whose owl is that? The owl obviously belongs to Harry, right?”

“Singaporeans must be aware that PM Lee’s father is not a regular muggle like the rest of his countrymen because he managed to outlive the Japanese Occupation, attain double First Class Honours from Cambridge in Law, wrestle independence from the British, defeat the Communists and learn Mandarin when he was already 30 years old among many other things.”







Istana resident upset new columbarium will be built beside Plaza Singapura

Istana resident upset new columbarium will be built beside Plaza Singapura

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He is worried it will lower the resale value of the Istana.



A new columbarium expected to come up in between the Istana and Plaza Singapura in 2016 to provide a resting place for the dead has stirred up unease among the living.

Istana resident, a certain Mr Tan, said it has come as a surprise to him that the columbarium will be built as it was only stated in the Urban Redevelopment Authority’s masterplan that the reserve site is designated for a Chinese temple.

Mr Tan said he is particularly annoyed that there was the possibility of a Chinese temple housing a columbarium at the site of the temple was in fine print in the URA development booklet: “I know I should respect the dead, but I don’t wish to live near a columbarium knowing that the dead are resting there.”

The Istana resident also said he would not have run for office if he had known in advance the fact that a columbarium was going to be so close to his living quarters.

He is also considering asking the state for a refund.

However, Singaporeans from all walks of life who are not living in Mr Tan’s backyard, have stepped in to assure the Istana resident that the columbarium will be out of sight and out of mind inside the temple building.

A helpful Singaporean, Mai Chet Seow, said: “The building will be a modern temple with a zen feel to it, and not the traditional dragon-and-phoenix type of temple and the development will be 80 percent temple and 20 percent columbarium.”

But the fall in resale value of the Istana is a grave cause for concern.

Mai Chet Seow also said: “The Istana’s location is actually already quite good. It’s near the MRT and shopping centre. It is no wonder Mr Tan is scared the value of the Istana will drop if people know it’s near a columbarium.”






Ex-presidential hopeful Tan Cheng Bock not part of pioneer generation

Ex-presidential hopeful Tan Cheng Bock not part of pioneer generation

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That’s why he was uninvited from Istana party.


Ex-presidential hopeful Tan Cheng Bock was uninvited from this year’s Chinese New Year Garden Party at the Istana because he is not recognised to be part of Singapore’s pioneer generation.

However, some 1,500 other old Singaporeans who belong to the country’s pioneer generation will be recognised at a tribute party on Sunday at the Istana, it has been announced.

And one of the seniors invited is 75-year-old Hooi Kok Wai, who is known to many Singaporeans as the man who developed the popular raw fish salad “yu sheng”.

One Singaporean, Zhuo Zhong Tong, said: “Tan Cheng Bock was only a doctor. That doesn’t compare to being a chef. He should have just invented a new food if he really wanted to be recognised for his role in nation-building.”

Crappy Istana website builder gets away scot-free

Crappy Istana website builder gets away scot-free

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Government did not take action against builder of lemon website that is so easy to violate.


Singaporeans from all walks of life with varying levels of IT skills are appealing to the Singapore government to formally charge the builder of the violated Istana website.

This after the government hauled two people to court to be prostituted for violating the Istana website, which in the first place wasn’t exactly built to be the most secure website on Earth.

Sng Dian Nao, a web expert said: “This is what happens when you let the lowest bidder do the job.”

Another IT expert, Jin Hai Tek, said if website security is of utmost importance, the crappy website builder should be shot for allowing vulnerabilities to occur: “If a car dealer wants to sell you a car with locks that work only half the time, will you buy it?”

“If you go sky diving and you are told the parachute will deploy most of the time, will you still jump?”

“No, right?”

Others though are more philosophical about such IT security matters.

Sng Char Bor, a Singaporean who works in IT, explained how a website and a prostitute is the same thing: “A website and non-committal sex is the same because there is the ever-present risk of being violated. But people still do use both services, mostly because as mature adults, they understand it is a matter of personal responsibility to stomach the consequences if anything goes tits up.”





SR Nathan’s memoirs will not include “Official Secrets”

SR Nathan’s memoirs will not include “Official Secrets”

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Looking forward to coffee shop half-boiled eggs and sarong after retirement though, says outgoing president SR Nathan.

Caricature of SR Nathan taken from http://stevecaricature.wordpress.com/ (Very talented artist! Check his works out!)

In his 12-year tenure as president, the most difficult decision SR Nathan had to make was in 2009.

He had to decide whether to approve the Government’s request to dip into past reserves to fund programmes to help Singaporeans through the financial crisis.

The 87-year-old said: “Of course there was the Council of Presidential Advisers who gave you advice. But even to evaluate that advice, you need to develop your own sense of the lie of the land, and what is happening and what it can lead to.

“It’s not just on a sheet of paper coming in (and) saying yes or no”.

Although his custodial role managing the reserves made his life dicey at times, Nathan’s life in the civil service before becoming president also had its exciting moments.

He and 12 civil servants and SAF commandos were awarded the Meritorious Service medal for their role in the Laju highjacking in 1974.

Nathan was then the director of the Defence Ministry’s Security and Intelligence Department.

Four terrorists had hijacked the Laju, a ferry operating between Pulau Bukom and mainland Singapore after trying to blow up Bukom, and demanded the presence of the 13 civil servants as guarantee of a safe passage to Kuwait on a Japan airlines plane.

This risky episode will be related in his memoirs to be released in September, which was written over 15 years starting in 1996 when he ended his stint as an ambassador to the US.

He had initially intended to publish it post-humously because he claims civil servants are not interesting.

He said, “You know, civil servants have nothing exciting to tell. What can you tell?”

Moreover, those looking for insider or classified information into the presidency can forget it.

He said, “You can’t tell the Official Secrets anyway, the exciting things, so what was the point? I was only telling my experience.”

Nathan also revealed he hasn’t been to a coffee shop in 12 years to eat half-boiled eggs.

While in the Istana, he spent a lot of time entertaining foreign dignitaries, thinking about topics of conversation to engage them in because he doesn’t rely on the guidance given by the foreign ministry and offered his patronage to many voluntary causes.

He admits not enjoying the fusion food served in the Istana, has a sweet tooth and likes spending time in his sarong.

Neither does he debate with Lee Kuan Yew. Or his own wife, Mrs SR Nathan a.k.a. Umi.

This is a 60-second reduction of the original two-part interview published in The New Paper on Aug. 29 and 30 that was plugging Nathan’s memoirs.

Presidential results: PAP-endorsed candidates garnered 70% of votes

Presidential results: PAP-endorsed candidates garnered 70% of votes

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3 ways you can report the facts.

By Fang Shihan

White Tans - 3 ways

So quite obviously 65% of the population is not happy with the way things panned out for Dr Tan Cheng Bock and opposition-meister Tan Jee Say. To the extent that newly elected President Dr. Tony Tan had to assure voters that he would strive to win over the two thirds of the electorate who did not vote for him. Shades of Sitoh Yih Pin no?

The mainstream media has been surprisingly tepid on the win. Then again, with former PAP-MPs garnering 70% of the votes, of course there would be room to spare for some negativity, just to balance out the overwhelming victory by the establishment.

But just for the fun of it, New Nation has come up with at least 3 different ways you could possibly spin the news. Enjoy.

Headline: 70% of Singaporeans vote for former PAP MPs
Standfirst: Tony Tan wins with 35.2% of vote while Tan Cheng Bock garners 34.8%.

The ruling party received a resounding stamp of approval from the electorate as both former PAP MPs Tony Tan and Tan Cheng Bock were the top performers during the presidential elections. Opposition-endorsed Tan Jee Say trailed in third place with 25% of the vote or about 10% less than the runner up. Tan Kin Lian, who led the minibonds protests in 2008 lost his $48,000 deposit after getting only 4.9% of the votes.

Headline: Tony Tan wins by razor thin margin; poor showing for the PAP
Standfirst: PAP-endorsed Tony Tan is ushered into the presidential post, winning by a margin of 0.34% against runner up.

The ruling party was delivered a wakeup call as Dr. Tony Tan, widely endorsed by the PAP, unions and government-affiliated organizations, sat through a recount in the wee hours of the morning. Once considered a shoo-in, the performance of Dr. Tony Tan was considered by many analysts as a barometer of the ruling party’s popularity among the people. Despite having been deputy prime minister, and the executive director of sovereign wealth fund, GIC, Dr. Tony Tan nearly lost to previously little-known MP Dr. Tan Cheng Bock who runs a clinic in Jurong. The former was campaigning on a platform of reform and was widely considered as a non yes-man within the party. Combined with opposition-endorsed candidate Tan Jee Say, the non-PAP vote stood at 59.8%.

Read this better and more xia lan version.

Headline: PAP candidate Dr. Tony Tan wins via split opposition vote
Standfirst: Opposition is blamed for splitting the anti-PAP vote, and installing the PAP into the presidential seat.

Two thirds of the electorate did not want a PAP-endorsed candidate as President. Yet Dr Tony Tan had the keys of the Istana handed to him with only 7,269 more votes than his nearest rival. Netizens blamed Temasek Review, Nicole Seah and the NSP for fracturing the opposition vote by endorsing Tan Jee Say and inadvertently handing victory to the PAP on a platter.

Read Temasek Review — which was down at the time of publication — for a better blamefest.

2011 presidential elections: If you had to pick one…

2011 presidential elections: If you had to pick one…

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One Tan in a bowl of four – can’t have them all, can’t have none.

By Fang Shihan

You don’t have to cast your vote at complete random, nor do you have to waste precious time and resources trawling through the Straits Times or Temasek Review to decide on who to hate the least.

Here’s a 5 min condensation of who’s who, who’s done what and who’s offended which section of the country.

You can thank us later. :)

 Tony Tan (full CV: click here)

Courtesy: Insing.com

In short: The candidate with the most illustrious career, the longtime patron of brylcreem had previously served as 1) Deputy prime minister, 2) Chairman and CEO of Overseas-Chinese Banking Corporation (OCBC), 3) Chairman of state-controlled Singapore Press Holdings, 4) Executive director of Government Investment Corporation, which invests your CPF money. He’s currently on leave of absence from his role as Chairman of National Research Foundation, a department under the Prime Minister’s Office which funds research and development efforts and increasingly, startups.

Fans say: He’s had the most bling career of the lot and having worked inside and out of the government all his life, he’s more than capable to being head-of-state.

Haters say: He’s a PAP goondu without an opinion of his own. His son also enjoyed a 12-year disruption from National Service which incited loud boo-ing from a vocal group during his nomination day speech.

 Tan Kin Lian (full CV: click here)

Courtesy: ChannelNewsAsia

In short: The former NTUC Income chief shot to fame in 2008 when he led a protest against the government’s handling of Lehman-linked failed investments during the financial crisis. He now provides consultancy services to new and existing insurance companies operating outside Singapore. He promises to be an influential president and promises (among many other promises) more compensation for men who have served in the army.

Fans say: He knows the government well enough and can provide constructive criticism, particular with regards to financial steering.

Haters say: His premature presidential campaign in 2008 failed massively when he asked for 100,000 signatures but managed about 3,000. The president technically can’t do much, so he may not be able to deliver on all those wonderful things promised.

 Tan Jee Say (full CV: click here)

Courtesy: xinmsn

In short: Also another formerly PAP-affiliated man, the investment advisor graduated from Oxford and served as Principal Private Secretary to then Deputy Prime Minister, Goh Chok Tong. His political career began early this year when he contested in the General Elections under the Singapore Democratic Party in Holland-Bukit Timah GRC, losing to the ruling party with slightly less than 40% of the votes. He’s since resigned from the party. He promises to take a humble $500,000/yr salary ($41,666/mth) if elected.

Fans say: He’s got an economic plan for Singapore, plus he’s endorsed by Nicole Seah.

Haters say: He’s an SDP quack and quit the Goh Chok Tong administration because he wasn’t competent enough and couldn’t get promoted.

Tan Cheng Bock (full CV: click here)

Courtesy: ChannelNewsAsia

In short: The former kampung doctor who now owns a clinic in Jurong also served as the non-executive chairman of Chuan Hup holdings, a marine logistics company and was appointed Chairman of the government Feedback Unit in 1984. Like other PAP MPs, he’s held a range of non-major positions in various government and government-linked sectors but has surreptitiously avoided slamming by then anti-establishment fringe.

Fans say: He epitomizes the good doctor and is of sound moral standing.

Haters say: He has limited financial knowledge and is the least capable of the four to be President.


The editors chime in…

Shihan’s pick: Tan Cheng Bock. Because he’s the most harmless of the lot. I’m not a very big fan but least he can’t screw up the country.

Terence’s pick: Tan Cheng Bock. Because he can unite the PAP and the opposition. And Tan Kin Lian’s just weird.

Belmont’s pick: Tan Jee Say. Because we’re popping bottles in the ice, like a blizzard. And when we drink we do it right getting slizzard, right? And then we’ll be feeling so fly like a Jee Say. Like a Jee Say, like a Jee say…