Tag Archive | "indonesia"

Indonesian Vice-President Jusuf Kalla: Haze problem is wind’s fault

Indonesian Vice-President Jusuf Kalla: Haze problem is wind’s fault

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It is beyond Indonesia’s control.

Jusuf-Kalla-haze-wind

Indonesian Vice-President Jusuf Kalla blamed the wind for spreading the haze to neighbouring countries, saying it was something beyond Indonesia’s control.

Speaking at the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (Apec) CEO summit on Wednesday, Nov. 18, Kalla said: “I’m so sorry to Malaysia and Singapore to say that we cannot control the wind. We don’t want the haze to go everywhere. (It happened) not because we want it to (affect) our neighbours, but because of the wind.”

Kalla was asked during a question-and-answer session what challenges the Indonesian government faces in stamping out the yearly haze brought on by farmers slashing and burning farmland in Sumatra and Kalimantan.

He acknowledged that it was a “big problem” that had affected the region.

To tackle it, his government had worked to restore the forests in Indonesia that had disappeared rapidly due to logging, he said.

Kalla said the problem would likely persist next year, but was hopeful that it would not be as serious.

He also reiterated his previous remarks about the “10 months” of good weather enjoyed by Indonesia’s neighbours, quipping: “Ten months every year, the good weather goes to our neighbours. You enjoyed it, we did not ask you to pay for it. But if there’s some bad problem, it is our problem to the region too.”

This is a real article published in The Straits Times on Nov. 18, 2015.

 

 

 

 

 











Indonesia gives S’pore fresh air, November rain as early Christmas present

Indonesia gives S’pore fresh air, November rain as early Christmas present

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Thank you for the season’s greetings.

Photo stolen from here

Photo stolen from here

Declaring themselves the bigger person and more magnanimous country, Indonesia has sent uncontaminated fresh air and passing showers Singapore’s way in mid-November after they declared they have temporarily forgiven Singaporeans’ petulant behaviour this past few months.

In a statement distributed to the media, it said: “President Joko Widodo was listening to November Rain by Guns N’ Roses and he decided he should send some along to Singapore as a gift.”

“We are able to look past Singapore’s and Singaporeans’ flaws, such as the lack of gratitude for the 11 months of annual clean air provided free-of-charge courtesy of reliable Indonesian forests.”

“And as we are being relatively good neighbours and since we heard less complaints emanating from there in the whole of last week compared to the weeks before, we shall grant the tiny republic a respite from the haze.”

“Consider this an early Christmas present courtesy of your friendly ASEAN neighbour, Indonesia.”

Singaporeans, in response, thanked Indonesia for the fresh air, showers and agreeable 27°C weather, free of PM2.5, as well as their generosity and ASEAN spirit.

One Singaporean, Shao Xiang, said Singaporeans have taken to openly give thanks to Indonesia in public: “I can already feel the spirit of Christmas in the air.”

“I will burn joss sticks and joss paper in return as thanksgiving.”

 

 

 

 

 











Smoking clubber insists he’s dressed as Indon Haze for Halloween party upset bouncers denied him entry

Smoking clubber insists he’s dressed as Indon Haze for Halloween party upset bouncers denied him entry

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Apparently, his smoke-producing mouth was too realistic for clubs’ liking.

smoker-halloween-indonesian-haze-club

A Singaporean party-goer dressed up as the Indonesian haze for this weekend’s Halloween-themed nightclub events has been left upset and dejected.

This after he was turned away at multiple clubs on Friday evening and the early hours of Saturday morning as bouncer after bouncer denied him entry into their premises because they didn’t accept his reasoning that his chain-smoking of cigarettes was so that he didn’t want to break character as the Indonesian haze.

The clubber, Sio Hoon Kee, said he is frustrated as a result: “I don’t understand how clubs in Singapore have been encouraging clubbers to dress up for Halloween parties across the island, but turned me away again and again.”

“It sucks that I put in so much effort to look the part of the Indonesian haze and be ultra realistic about things and then some meathead guarding the door decides I cannot enter his club just because I don’t fall into his overly simplistic view of the world.”

“All I wanted was to be realistic with my outfit and continuously produce smoke like the Indonesian haze, which shows no signs of stopping.”

Clubbers from all walks of life in Singapore, who do enjoy taking a drag and wished that they could do that on the dance floor again, said they empathise with Indon Haze Man, as the now-famous clubber is called.

One clubber, Hu Lee Jin, who was dressed for Halloween as a foxy nurse with thigh-high slits on both sides of her white uniform that looked tainted with mysterious stains on the front and back, said: “I also bemoan this lack of creativity and imagination in Singapore.”

“If a man shows up for a Halloween party smoking cigarettes and calls himself the Indonesian Haze, you should pat him on the back and say ‘Good job circumventing the rules’ instead of throwing him out.”

“It is the letter of the law that the bouncers and club management are following when they should be embracing the spirit of it.”

“Since this is Halloween, we should be embracing spirits.”

At press time, more clubbers claiming to be dressed up as the Indonesian Haze for Halloween is expected this weekend.

 

 

 

 

 











Indonesia temporarily forgives S’poreans’ petulance, provides clean air, agreeable 27°C weather on Wednesday

Indonesia temporarily forgives S’poreans’ petulance, provides clean air, agreeable 27°C weather on Wednesday

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Thank you for your kindness, Indonesia.

singapore-fresh-air

Declaring themselves the bigger person and more magnanimous country, Indonesia sent uncontaminated fresh air and passing showers Singapore’s way on Wednesday after they declared they have temporarily forgiven Singaporeans’ petulant behaviour this past week.

In a statement distributed to the media, it said: “We are able to look past Singapore’s and Singaporeans’ flaws, such as the lack of gratitude for 11 months of annual clean air provided free-of-charge courtesy of reliable Indonesian forests.”

“Therefore, we shall grant the tiny republic some fresh air and clear skies as a respite from the haze for being relatively good neighbours, as we heard less complaints emanating from there in the whole of last week compared to the week before.”

Singaporeans, in response, thanked Indonesia for the fresh air, showers and agreeable 27°C weather, free of PM2.5, as well as their generosity and ASEAN spirit.

One Singaporean, Shao Xiang, said Singaporeans have taken to openly give thanks to Indonesia in public: “I am burning joss sticks and joss paper to thank Indonesia for their blessings.”

“This is the least I can do for them.”

“Thank you.”

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans glad Indonesia generous enough to allow S’pore to put out forest fires now they’re done burning

S’poreans glad Indonesia generous enough to allow S’pore to put out forest fires now they’re done burning

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A friend in need is a friend indeed.

forest-fire-indonesia

Bilateral relations between Singapore and Indonesia have warmed up even further today.

This after Indonesia said it is okay for Singapore to help put out forest fires they have started that have been causing haze all over the Southeast Asia region.

This caused Singaporeans to feel that Indonesia is very generous.

One Singaporean, Hei Koo, who has asthma, said: “Thank you Indonesia for opening their hearts and minds. Singaporeans appreciate Indonesia’s generosity in allowing us to step in to put out the fires for them.”

“Singaporeans must thank Indonesia profusely for even obliging and giving this some consideration. They really didn’t have to.”

Other Singaporeans said they cannot believe how well Indonesia is taking this offer of help.

Yuan Shou, another local, said: “I would have thought Indonesia wouldn’t even consider accepting Singapore’s help because Singapore is so small and it wants to help one of the most populous countries in the world today.”

“I would have thought this back-and-forth of accepting and rejecting would go on forever or at least another year but they accepted it after two months.”

“So fast. And so decisive.”

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans thank Indonesia for mixing rain with haze to fall on S’pore

S’poreans thank Indonesia for mixing rain with haze to fall on S’pore

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Thank you for your rain and haze mixture.

haze-rain-singapore

Bilateral relations between Singapore and Indonesia have warmed up today.

This after Singaporeans from all walks of life, regardless if they are asthmatic, have come out to thank Indonesia for bringing rain and mixing it with PSI level 130 haze on Tuesday having let it hover around PSI 100 to 200 the past few days.

One Singaporean, Hen Gan En, said he feels personally indebted to Indonesia for giving Singaporeans back hazy wet smoke: “I never thought I’d see rain and haze at the same time.”

“I would like to thank Indonesia for blessing Singapore with this unusual mixture. It is wonderful to see acid rain again.”

“Sorry, if we were ever ungrateful.”

Other Singaporeans said they have taken to openly giving thanks to Indonesia in public.

One Singaporean, Shao Xiang, said: “I am burning joss sticks and joss paper to thank Indonesia for their blessings.”

“This is the least I can do for them.”

“Thank you.”

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans thank Indonesia for lowering PSI to 83 this Sunday

S’poreans thank Indonesia for lowering PSI to 83 this Sunday

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Thank you for your clean air.

blue-skies-singapore

Bilateral relations between Singapore and Indonesia have warmed up today.

This after Singaporeans from all walks of life, regardless if they are asthmatic, have come out to thank Indonesia for lowering the PSI level to 83 on Sunday having let it hover around 100 to 200 the past few days.

One Singaporean, Hen Gan En, said he feels personally indebted to Indonesia for giving Singaporeans back clear skies: “I never thought I’d see the blue skies again.”

“I would like to thank Indonesia for blessing Singapore with clean air once again.”

“Sorry, if we were ever ungrateful.”

Other Singaporeans said they have taken to openly giving thanks to Indonesia in public.

One Singaporean, Shao Xiang, said: “I am burning joss sticks and joss paper to thank Indonesia for their blessings.”

“This is the least I can do for them.”

“Thank you.”

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans react to news that S’poreans are planning on suing Indonesian companies responsible for haze

S’poreans react to news that S’poreans are planning on suing Indonesian companies responsible for haze

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Three thoughts that must have went past your mind at some point.

haze-indonesia-forest-fires

A volunteer group called the Haze Elimination Action Team (HEAT) wants to sue and boycott the companies involved in starting fires in Indonesia and put an end to the haze.

The group is led by Dr Ang Peng Hwa, a professor at Nanyang Technological University’s Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information.

They need to identify a plaintiff to file the suit, raise funds of S$50,000 to S$100,000 and are looking to get pro bono legal help as well.

Here are three thoughts Singaporeans have:

 

sian-half-auntie “Sounds like we’re fighting hot air with more hot air.”
Gong Jiao Wei, 44-year-old balloon and helium supplier

 

sian-half-uncle “We would win this law suit if the case was tried in Singapore.”
Shang Fa Ting, 66-year-old legislative assistant

 

happy-bird-girl “Threatening bankruptcy is such a Singapore way of doing things.”
Pok Kai, 16-year-old unemployed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans praise Indonesia for helping us fight annual dengue scourge with haze

S’poreans praise Indonesia for helping us fight annual dengue scourge with haze

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Thank you Indonesia.

Joko-Widodo

A friend in need is a friend indeed.

Cross-straits diplomacy is at an all-time high today as Indonesia is playing friend to Singapore in this time of need.

Dengue cases have remained at low levels as the relevant government ministries and agencies here look to Indonesia for assistance to buck the dengue outbreak trend, as Singapore has been plagued by dengue this time of the year every year.

Because not to worry. In comes our friendly neighbour across the straits: The Indonesians sensing Singapore’s troubles with mosquitoes over the years, has provided a much-needed respite — in the form of haze, at PSI level of above 120, to smoke out the blood-sucking critters.

And this is in appreciation of Singapore’s kind gestures towards Indonesia over the years, such as importing its maids, its instant Indo mee and raising second families in Batam.

One Singaporean, Wen Zi Yao said: “We better thank the Indonesians fast. Or else, the Singapore government confirm claim credit for themselves next week for fewer dengue cases this year.”

 

 

 

 

 











PM Lee unfriends Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono on Facebook, untags him from photos

PM Lee unfriends Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono on Facebook, untags him from photos

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Grown men showing each other they mean business.

"I can squeeze anything in between my two fingers from this angle."

“I can squeeze anything in between my two fingers from this angle.”

The escalating tension between Singapore and Indonesia has come to a head.

Singapore’s Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong has unfriended Indonesia President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono on Facebok.

This was followed by several hours of purging, where Facebook photos by PM Lee with Susilo in them were untagged.

This turn of events was the result of Indonesia naming a naval vessel after known terrorists who bombed MacDonald House in Singapore in 1965, which made Singapore very, very sad and angry.

Self-styled political pundit and international relations expert, Eric de Yaya, said: “The scale of Singapore’s retaliation is completely out of proportion. But this is a sure sign that both sides mean business.”

“This is what happens when you name a naval vessel after terrorists. You will be unfriended on social media.”

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans surprised S’pore didn’t take things lying down

S’poreans surprised S’pore didn’t take things lying down

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Singapore reacts to Indonesia by rescinding invitation to Singapore Airshow here.

singapore-airshow

Singaporeans from all walks of life are surprised that Singapore didn’t take things lying down, one day after the mainstream media urged online vigilantes to take things lying down when provoked.

Singapore has instead reacted offline to Indonesia’s controversial naming of a naval warship after two marines who carried out a bomb attack on MacDonald House in 1965, by rescinding the invitation to the Singapore Airshow here.

One Singaporean, Mei Chu Xi, said: “We shouldn’t preach one thing and practise another. Like how we say we don’t want other people to get involved with Singapore politics, we also shouldn’t dictate how other people want to name their country’s boats.”

“Because if we really want to push it, we should unfriend Indonesia on Facebook.”

Other Singaporeans have also given a different perspective.

Another local, Mei Wen Ti, said: “Let’s move on. How come we never say that this time?”

Indonesia apologises for failing to get rid of Singapore’s dengue mosquito

Indonesia apologises for failing to get rid of Singapore’s dengue mosquito

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Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono asks for forgiveness, begs not to embargo Indo mee.

Bzzzzz... Should I join PAP... bzzzzzz

Bzzzzz… Should I join PAP… bzzzzzz

Indonesia has penned a heartfelt apology to Singaporeans after they failed to use the haze to get rid of Singapore’s dengue mosquito problem.

Cross-straits relations between the two countries took a sour turn as it was announced today in Singapore that dengue cases around the island have been increasing despite an economy-halting haze sent our way from Sumatra.

And it was in this area that the Indonesians were the most regretful for.

One part of the handwritten apology addressing this issue read: “We are very, very sorry the blood suckers are still around! (I mean the mosquitoes, not the PAP!)”

The official environmental agency has since called on Singaporeans to continue to remain vigilant against the blood-sucking critters.

A spokesperson from the National Environment Agency, who declined to be named, said: “It is unfortunate that the government cannot claim credit. Imagine if the number of dengue cases really went down. Shiok…”

S’poreans: We should behave like wealthy, economically advanced adults

S’poreans: We should behave like wealthy, economically advanced adults

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This is in response to the Indonesian minister’s gripe that Singaporeans are “like children”.

singapore-haze

Singaporeans from all walks of life and lung capacity are in agreement with a senior Indonesian minister who had hit out at Singaporeans over the haze.

Agung Laksono, the Indonesian Coordinating Minister for People’s Welfare, had said in response to the haze crisis: “Singapore shouldn’t be like children, in such a tizzy.”

And Singaporeans all agree that he is undoubtedly right — and that Singaporeans should behave like who they truly are: Wealthy, economically advanced adults, with a strong sense of social justice.

One Singaporean, Wo You Qian, said: “We do not wish to engage in this petty exchange of jibes with the Indonesian minister. We will focus on helping Singaporeans in this time of need, giving masks and extending essential medical assistance.”

“But we’d ignore the Indonesian expats staying here in Singapore.”

Another Singapore, Cheo Ka Peng, said: “Ok, we promise we’ll try not to laugh at their last names.”

Indonesia sends haze to rid S’pore of dengue mosquito

Indonesia sends haze to rid S’pore of dengue mosquito

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Singaporeans thank Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono.

Susilo Bambang Yudhoyo shows Singaporeans how to kill the mosquito

Susilo Bambang Yudhoyo shows Singaporeans how to kill the mosquito

A friend in need is a friend indeed.

Cross-straits diplomacy is at an all-time high today as Indonesia is playing friend to Singapore in this time of need.

As dengue cases soar island-wide here, the relevant government ministries and agencies in Singapore have all but run out of ideas to solve the problem.

But not to worry. Because in comes our friendly neighbour across the straits: The Indonesians sensing Singapore’s troubles with mosquitoes, has provided a much-needed respite — in the form of haze, at PSI level of 88, to smoke out the blood-sucking critters.

And this is in appreciation of Singapore’s kind gestures towards Indonesia over the years, such as importing its maids, its instant Indo mee and raising second families in Batam.

One Singaporean, Wen Zi Yao said: “We better thank the Indonesians fast. Or else, the Singapore government confirm claim credit for themselves next week when dengue cases drop.”

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