Tag Archive | "GE2015"

S’poreans react to PAP commiserating with opposition candidates who are finding employment after GE2015

S’poreans react to PAP commiserating with opposition candidates who are finding employment after GE2015

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Three thoughts that must have went past your mind at some point.

pap-help-opposition-find-job

PAP ministers have reached out to Singapore People’s Party candidate for Hong Kah North SMC, Ravi Philemon.

This after he posted on Facebook that he is looking for a job now that the General Election 2015 is over. He had to quit his previous employment so that he could contest in the election.

Among those who responded to him are Minister for Home Affairs and Law K. Shanmugam and Minister for Foreign Affairs Vivian Balakrishnan. Both PAP politicians told him to keep looking.

 

Here are three thoughts Singaporeans have:

 

sian-half-auntie “Last I checked, Lee Hsien Loong didn’t offer Chee Soon Juan a job.”
Hee Poh Kit, 43-year-old headhunter

 

sian-half-uncle “I like how the PAP always chut pattern to look magnanimous.”
Da Fang, 62-year-old charity aid worker

 

happy-bird-girl “The PAP should extend their help to the Workers’ Party if they really wanted to make the propaganda work.”
Mai Lai La, 17-year-old popiah seller

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 











PAP must ownself check ownself, increase ministerial salaries only when timing is right

PAP must ownself check ownself, increase ministerial salaries only when timing is right

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PAP vows to improve the lives of PAP after this GE2015.

marine-parade-pap-group-hug

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who found themselves doused in white, have come out to congratulate the PAP for pretending to remain humble after their landslide victory during the General Election 2015.

As a result, Singaporeans felt this amount of effort put in by them must be rewarded accordingly.

One Singaporean, Zhuan Da Qian, said: “It was a hard fought victory for the PAP. Winning by so much and having to act like they are not happy like bird and gloating more openly than they already are. There is no other way to reward themselves than with more money.”

Other Singaporeans said PAP paying themselves more money is not troubling as this is what 70 percent of the people who voted for them would have wanted.

Jiak Ka Leow, another local, said: “Go ahead. Just take whatever you want. Nothing and nobody can stop you. Now that they have the people’s mandate, just do whatever you want since you have been issued a blank cheque to run wild with.”

“If you feel held back by common decency, no worries. The 70 percent of Singaporeans who gave you their vote are telling you, ‘It’s okay. It’s your entitlement’.”

“Feel free to add another $600,000 more a year. It is peanuts anyway.”

“Go ahead, $50,000 is a derisory sum.”

 

 

 

 

 











PAP must be humble after landslide victory, increase ministerial salaries only when timing is right

PAP must be humble after landslide victory, increase ministerial salaries only when timing is right

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PAP vows to improve the lives of PAP after this GE2015.

marine-parade-pap-group-hug

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who found themselves doused in white, have come out to congratulate the PAP for pretending to remain humble after their landslide victory during the General Election 2015.

As a result, Singaporeans felt this amount of effort put in by them must be rewarded accordingly.

One Singaporean, Zhuan Da Qian, said: “It was a hard fought victory for the PAP. Winning by so much and having to act like they are not happy like bird and gloating more openly than they already are. There is no other way to reward themselves than with more money.”

Other Singaporeans said PAP paying themselves more money is not troubling as this is what 70 percent of the people who voted for them would have wanted.

Jiak Ka Leow, another local, said: “Go ahead. Just take whatever you want. Nothing and nobody can stop you. Now that they have the people’s mandate, just do whatever you want since you have been issued a blank cheque to run wild with.”

“If you feel held back by common decency, no worries. The 70 percent of Singaporeans who gave you their vote are telling you, ‘It’s okay. It’s your entitlement’.”

“Feel free to add another $600,000 more a year. It is peanuts anyway.”

“Go ahead, $50,000 is a derisory sum.”

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans feel PAP’s vision for an SG100 S’pore too short term, should aim for SG1,000,000

S’poreans feel PAP’s vision for an SG100 S’pore too short term, should aim for SG1,000,000

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Why not SG10,000,000? Or SG1,000,000,000?

sg100-LHL

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who suddenly woke up one morning to be bombarded by white, are up in arms.

This after they heard Ang Mo Kio GRC MP Lee Hsien Loong said that the 70 percent who voted for the Tharman Shanmugaratnam Party have given them a strong mandate for Singapore to plan for SG100.

Singaporeans who heard this plan were deeply disappointed as a 50-year outlook is too short and not well-thought out enough.

One Singaporean, Qian Tu, said: “I think this SG100 plan is good as a passing thought but not good enough for a rejuvenated electorate that is open to fresh ideas.”

“I would have thought that the plan was to look far beyond the horizon and plan for a Singapore in SG1,000,000.”

“Anything lesser than a million years in advance, is just short term and fraught with volatility. I’m not sure I can deal with such short-term planning.”

Other Singaporeans concurred and said long-term planning can only be considered long enough if it was really very long.

Another local, Kan Qian Mian, said: “If hubris is what guides you to move ahead, then let hubris take root fully and permeate through your entire being to influence your thinking.”

“What the electorate wants to hear is a Singapore that is still around one million years from now.”

“I don’t care what happens in 50 years because we won’t be around.”

“But I want to hear where Singapore will be in one million years. And I can still be around to savour it.”

“That would be the real achievement.”

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans complain PAP’s vision for an SG100 S’pore too short term, should aim for SG1,000,000

S’poreans complain PAP’s vision for an SG100 S’pore too short term, should aim for SG1,000,000

Tags: , ,


Why not SG10,000,000? Or SG1,000,000,000?

sg100-LHL

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who suddenly woke up one morning to be bombarded by white, are up in arms.

This after they heard Ang Mo Kio GRC MP Lee Hsien Loong said that the 70 percent who voted for the Tharman Shanmugaratnam Party have given them a strong mandate for Singapore to plan for SG100.

Singaporeans who heard this plan were deeply disappointed as a 50-year outlook is too short and not well-thought out enough.

One Singaporean, Qian Tu, said: “I think this SG100 plan is good as a passing thought but not good enough for a rejuvenated electorate that is open to fresh ideas.”

“I would have thought that the plan was to look far beyond the horizon and plan for a Singapore in SG1,000,000.”

“Anything lesser than a million years in advance, is just short term and fraught with volatility. I’m not sure I can deal with such short-term planning.”

Other Singaporeans concurred and said long-term planning can only be considered long enough if it was really very long.

Another local, Kan Qian Mian, said: “If hubris is what guides you to move ahead, then let hubris take root fully and permeate through your entire being to influence your thinking.”

“What the electorate wants to hear is a Singapore that is still around one million years from now.”

“I don’t care what happens in 50 years because we won’t be around.”

“But I want to hear where Singapore will be in one million years. And I can still be around to savour it.”

“That would be the real achievement.”

 

 

 

 

 











More S’poreans refer to PAP as TSP, a.k.a. Tharman Shanmugaratnam Party

More S’poreans refer to PAP as TSP, a.k.a. Tharman Shanmugaratnam Party

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This after he paid tribute to opposition, said they can continue to contribute to Singapore after GE2015.

tharman-shanmugaratnam-opposition

Singaporeans from all walks of life who suddenly found themselves covered in white are all starting to refer to PAP as TSP, also known as Tharman Shanmugaratnam Party.

This after Tharman Shanmugaratnam paid tribute to opposition parties after General Election 2015 by saying: “We need a more reflective attitude after each election, and on how the opposition can continue to play a constructive and positive role in Singapore politics, as they must.”

Singaporeans who heard this said there was absolutely no doubt that it was Tharman who singlehandedly won the GE2015 for the PAP and he is the only statesman in the party.

One Singaporean, Zhuo Zhong Lee, said: “I am convinced Tharman Shanmugaratnam is not only prime minister material, but he is, in fact, the party itself.”

“Therefore, we need to change the PAP to TSP: Tharman Shanmugaratnam Party.”

However, other Singaporeans felt this does not go far enough.

Another local, Jin Kiang, said: “From now on Tharman Shanmugaratnam should be the only one allowed to speak on behalf of the party.”

“And his colleagues must donate their salary to him, since he is uniting Singaporeans, unlike other PAP politicians.”

 

 

 

 

 











Strong mandate from GE2015 voters prevented haze from getting worse

Strong mandate from GE2015 voters prevented haze from getting worse

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A strong mandate will help deflect the haze and make winds blow in opposite direction.

haze-psi-level

As a result of being given a strong mandate from voters this General Election 2015, the haze has been kept at bay instead of getting worse and causing the PSI reading to go even higher, Singaporeans have been assured.

This after voters questioned the purpose of a strong mandate for the PAP government and asked if a strong mandate “Can eat one?”

One PAP supporter, Poh Lum Pah, said in response: “The haze this time round in 2015 could have been worse. It is at PSI 223 now. But without the strong mandate by voters for the PAP in GE2015, the haze could have been PSI 1000.”

Other PAP supporters said Singaporeans can witness first-hand for themselves what a strong mandate can do and why it is necessary.

Another PAP supporter, Jin Kum Gong, said: “A strong mandate will help deflect the haze as it can be transformed into a shield or dome or a strong wind to blow in the opposite direction.”

“This is not a fairy tale meant to bluff people.”

“All we need is for people to believe in the strong mandate before it can work.”

 

 

 

 

 











Strong mandate from GE2015 voters stopped haze from getting worse

Strong mandate from GE2015 voters stopped haze from getting worse

Tags: ,


A strong mandate will help deflect the haze and make winds blow in opposite direction.

haze-psi-level

As a result of being given a strong mandate from voters this General Election 2015, the haze has been kept at bay instead of getting worse and causing the PSI reading to go even higher, Singaporeans have been assured.

This after voters questioned the purpose of a strong mandate for the PAP government and asked if a strong mandate “Can eat one?”

One PAP supporter, Poh Lum Pah, said in response: “The haze this time round in 2015 could have been worse. It is at PSI 223 now. But without the strong mandate by voters for the PAP in GE2015, the haze could have been PSI 1000.”

Other PAP supporters said Singaporeans can witness first-hand for themselves what a strong mandate can do and why it is necessary.

Another PAP supporter, Jin Kum Gong, said: “A strong mandate will help deflect the haze as it can be transformed into a shield or dome or a strong wind to blow in the opposite direction.”

“This is not a fairy tale meant to bluff people.”

“All we need is for people to believe in the strong mandate before it can work.”

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans congratulate Tharman Shanmugaratnam for single-handedly winning GE2015 for his party

S’poreans congratulate Tharman Shanmugaratnam for single-handedly winning GE2015 for his party

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He is the only one worthy to be prime minister, locals said.

tharman-shanmugaratnam-GE

Singaporeans from all walks of life who suddenly found themselves covered in white have come out to congratulate and commend Tharman Shanmugaratnam.

This after Tharman’s Jurong GRC team beat Lee Hsien Loong’s Ang Mo Kio GRC team for best result by clinching 79.28 percent of votes. The national average is 69.9 percent.

One Singaporean, Hen Ai Ni, said Tharman’s showing is proof that PAP’s talent distribution is uneven: “Even though his official title might be DPM, in my heart and mind, he is my prime minister.”

“He is the only reason there is still hope for the PAP.”

Other Singaporeans said Tharman’s statesman-like demeanour and intellect is what makes up for whatever shortfall and dead weight the party is facing.

Another Singaporean, Jiak Leow Bee, said: “The PAP with Tharman Shanmugaratnam inside is like Geylang United signing Wayne Rooney.”

“The PAP won 83 out of 89 seats in total, so it is the duty of the 82 others to thank Tharman personally. They must not and cannot be so ungrateful.”

At press time, other Singaporeans said they wonder how is the PAP going to resurrect Lee Kuan Yew and put him to sleep again to recreate the same mood five years from now.

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans congratulate Tharman Shanmugaratnam for single-handedly winning GE2015 for PAP

S’poreans congratulate Tharman Shanmugaratnam for single-handedly winning GE2015 for PAP

Tags: ,


He is the only one worthy to be prime minister, locals said.

tharman-shanmugaratnam-GE

Singaporeans from all walks of life who suddenly found themselves covered in white have come out to congratulate and commend Tharman Shanmugaratnam.

This after Tharman’s Jurong GRC team beat Lee Hsien Loong’s Ang Mo Kio GRC team for best result by clinching 79.28 percent of votes. The national average is 69.9 percent.

One Singaporean, Hen Ai Ni, said Tharman’s showing is proof that PAP’s talent distribution is uneven: “Even though his official title might be DPM, in my heart and mind, he is my prime minister.”

“He is the only reason there is still hope for the PAP.”

Other Singaporeans said Tharman’s statesman-like demeanour and intellect is what makes up for whatever shortfall and dead weight the party is facing.

Another Singaporean, Jiak Leow Bee, said: “The PAP with Tharman Shanmugaratnam inside is like Geylang United signing Wayne Rooney.”

“The PAP won 83 out of 89 seats in total, so it is the duty of the 82 others to thank Tharman personally. They must not and cannot be so ungrateful.”

At press time, other Singaporeans said they wonder how is the PAP going to resurrect Lee Kuan Yew and put him to sleep again to recreate the same mood five years from now.

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans welcome Vivian Balakrishnan as new Transport Minister

S’poreans welcome Vivian Balakrishnan as new Transport Minister

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This is to congratulate him on his excellent win this GE2015.

vivian-balakrishnan-transport-minister-new

Singaporeans from all walks of life who suddenly found themselves covered in white have come out to welcome Holland-Bukit Timah GRC candidate Vivian Balakrishnan into his new role as Transport Minister.

This after his team won in the General Election 2015 with 66 percent of votes against the Singapore Democratic Party. The national average is 69.9 percent.

One Singaporean, Chuan Bai Yee, said he thinks Vivian fits the role of Transport Minister very well given his popularity: “It is a good idea to pair the job scope according to the popularity of the PAP politician.”

“As you can tell, the transport ministry would suit Vivian Balakrishnan very well.”

Other Singaporeans who were quick to come out to congratulate him on his win, said the role would be for the best interests of Singaporeans.

Jin Jiao Au, another local, said: “It is an honour for him to serve in the transport ministry as he is in politics for the long term.”

“Long term meaning about five years, since it has been said that a day in politics is a long time.”

“Five years would then be a long enough time.”

At press time, competitors for the Transport Minister role include Yaacob Ibrahim, Lim Swee Say and Khaw Boon Wan.

 

 

 

 

 











Freak election result sees PAP win 69.86% of votes this GE2015

Freak election result sees PAP win 69.86% of votes this GE2015

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Ruling party shocked their voters by getting a strong mandate.

pap-win-ge2015

The PAP has been returned to power after winning 69.86 percent of votes in the General Election 2015.

This after Singaporeans from all walks of life who suddenly wear white gave them a strong mandate.

This shock improvement in result since the last GE2011 has been labelled a “freak election” that even the PAP and its supporters did not see coming.

One PAP supporter, Poh Lan Pah, said: “When Lee Kuan Yew said there was this thing called a ‘freak election’, I didn’t believe him. But now I do.”

“And it is really freaky.”

Other PAP supporters said they didn’t see this result coming as they expected themselves to vote solely out of fear and emotion instead of according to misguided feelings that the PAP has served them well.

Yong Tou Nao, another PAP supporter, said: “See? Now that Singaporeans have voted rationally, they will have to pay the price with another five unanticipated years of stability.”

At press time, Singaporeans said they are not yet ready for such predictability and seeing their future charted out in such clear terms.

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans react to PAP leading in GE2015 voting results sample count

S’poreans react to PAP leading in GE2015 voting results sample count

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Three thoughts that must have went past your mind at some point.

png-eng-huat-sample-count-hougang

Early sample count for GE2015 results show PAP is leading overall with a low 70 percent vote share, signalling a swing back to the ruling party from GE2011.

Here are three thoughts Singaporeans have:

 

sian-half-auntie “A lot of people are going to be promoted in The Straits Times.”
Kwa Poh Zhua, 42-year-old newspaper seller

 

sian-half-uncle “Now that PAP has fixed the opposition, they can fix Singaporeans’ problems.”
Xian Ji Puah, 63-year-old retiree

 

happy-bird-girl “Lee Hsien Loong is going to get cocky again.”
Jin Hao Lian, 17-year-old fast food seller

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 











5 things S’poreans must do on Sept. 11 Polling Day

5 things S’poreans must do on Sept. 11 Polling Day

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If you don’t do these things, you might as well be a non-Singaporean.

Photo stolen from here

Photo stolen from here

Sept. 11, 2015 is Polling Day. Some 2.46 million voters in Singapore will get to cast their ballot.

Here are five things Singaporeans must do on this day:

 

1. Go to JB and eat seafood and pump petrol since it is a public holiday.

jb-seafood

 

2. Nua at home.

hdb-watch-tv

 

3. Message your friends to complain you waited for 10 minutes to cast your ballot.

Photo stolen from here

Photo stolen from here

 

4. Write a reflective post on Facebook about the importance of voting even when you never knew who your MP was the last four years.

use-facebook

 

5. Redeem the cash credits in your PAssion card as it might be the last day it is valid.

passion-card

 

 

 

 

 











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