Tag Archive | "Free Egg McMuffin"

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100,000 free Egg McMuffins to be snatched within hours on March 18.

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McDonald’s will be giving away 100,000 free Egg McMuffins on March 18 across 100 outlets in Singapore.

Scenes of destruction, chaos, shoving and ungracious behaviour will most likely dominate the news — again — as Singaporeans from all walks of life are expected to form long queues for hours just for a freebie.

Those who are expected to show up include aunties, the middle class, the well-heeled, children and office workers who carry Prada bags and Miu Miu wallets.

Experts interviewed by New Nation say this penny-pinching phenomenon is due to a high cost of living and uncertain economic outlook.

Eric de Yaya, a self-styled political pundit who also did not get tenure, said: “I’m already standing in line.”

To whet readers’ appetites, here is an inside look into how McDonald’s Egg McMuffins are hand crafted to perfection.

1. For hand crafted authenticity, first get a machine to knead the dough.
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2. The machine should be able to bake as well as a human because machines don’t suffer from PMS.
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3. Once they get baked, the muffin tops should look exactly like they were made by someone in a chef’s hat and white apron who has attended at least four years of culinary school.
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4. For the eggs, they are usually fried by someone who was let down by the education system and didn’t do well for ‘A’ Levels.
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5. Here, another product of the education system will tenderly flip the slice of ham for $4 an hour.
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6. Minimum wage? Never heard of it.
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7. Assembly is still being done by other products of the education system. For now. Until it becomes automated one fine day.
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8. So once you’ve collected your free Egg McMuffin, proceed to stuff it into every available orifice in your body. And get back in the queue. Again.
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