Tag Archive | "fire"

God officially loses count of number of calamities He has sent Jem mall’s way

God officially loses count of number of calamities He has sent Jem mall’s way

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One more for the heck of it, He said.

burger-king-jem-fire

A fire that broke out at the Burger King outlet at Jem mall at Jurong East on Tuesday night, July 19, could well be the last warning sent by God to His people — if He can actually remember how many more signs He has left to go.

The incident took place around 8.30pm at the fast food restaurant on the basement level.

This marks the ninth or 10th sign God has sent JEM mall, if He can still keep count of the number of incidents.

Previously, His seven signs went largely unheeded in 2014 and The Merciful One could be trying to warn his people one more time, before He destroys the shopping centre for good by razing it down to the ground.

According to the Singapore Civil Defence Force, the blaze occurred in the kitchen of the restaurant.

However, shoppers were undeterred and continued in their pursuit of consumerist practices even when it was clear woe would befall them.

One shopper, Xing Ye Shu, said she is confident the ninth or 10th sign won’t be the last as there will probably be 10 clear signs in total, like what she saw on the cartoon The Prince of Egypt and the movie Exodus: Gods and Kings, starring Batman Christian Bale: “I still have time. Next week still got sale. No need to repent so soon.”

“Anyway there is still JCube.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





S’poreans react to Christmas tree catching fire along Orchard Road

S’poreans react to Christmas tree catching fire along Orchard Road

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Three thoughts that must have went past your mind at some point.

orchard-road-christmas-tree-fire

A Christmas tree outside the Abercrombie & Fitch outlet at Knightsbridge mall at Orchard Road caught fire on Wednesday night at around 9pm.

Security guards in the area managed to put out the flames before the Singapore Civil Defence Force personnel arrived at the scene.

No one was hurt.

Here are three thoughts Singaporeans have:

 

sian-half-auntie “No doubt some will blame homosexuality for this.”
Tong Xing Lian, 44-year-old stockings seller

 

sian-half-uncle “ISIS can claim responsibility.”
Shao Jiao, 63-year-old BBQ equipment maker

 

happy-bird-girl “There is nothing that screams Burning Bush than a Christmas tree completely on fire with billowing smoke.”
Xing Ye Shu, 17-year-old part-time missionary

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 











S’poreans react to Lamborghini on fire in S’pore

S’poreans react to Lamborghini on fire in S’pore

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Three thoughts that must have went past your mind at some point.

lamborghini-on-fire-singapore

A white Lamborghini was seen going up in flames at Teban Gardens on Oct. 5, 2015. No one was injured.

Lamborghini engine goes up in flames at Teban Gardens. No one was injured. http://bit.ly/1OSGPmL

Posted by Channel NewsAsia Singapore on Monday, October 5, 2015

 

Here are three thoughts Singaporeans have:

 

sian-half-auntie “One of the reasons why I don’t drive a Lamborghini in Singapore. The other reason is not being able to afford one.”
Haohua Qi Che, 46-year-old taxi driver

 

sian-half-uncle “There goes the price of an HDB flat, including furnishings.”
Hay Dee Bee, 63-year-old interior designer

 

happy-bird-girl “Even the flame looks different from other cars.”
Teo Her Sio, 18-year-old BBQ chicken wing seller

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 











Fire at JEM mall in Jurong East on Good Friday night could be final warning by God

Fire at JEM mall in Jurong East on Good Friday night could be final warning by God

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This is it, folks.

jem-mall-good-friday-2015

A fire that broke out near the H&M boutique at JEM shopping mall at Jurong East on Good Friday night could well be the last warning sent by God to His people.

The incident took place around 10pm on April 3, 2015.

This marks the 8th sign God has sent JEM mall.

Previously, His seven signs went largely unheeded in 2014 and The Merciful One could be trying to warn his people one more time, before He destroys the shopping centre for good by razing it down to the ground.

According to the Singapore Civil Defence Force, the blaze on the first level had started from electrical wires in the exterior wall of the building but shoppers were undeterred and continued in their pursuit of consumerist practices even when it was clear woe would befall them.

One shopper, Xing Ye Shu, said she is confident the eighth sign won’t be the last as there will probably be 10 signs in total, like what she saw on the cartoon The Prince of Egypt and the movie Exodus: Gods and Kings, starring Batman Christian Bale: “I still have time. Next week still got sale. No need to repent so soon.”

“Anyway there is still JCube.”

 

Heed God’s word now:

7 signs God is going to destroy JEM mall in Jurong East by end of 2014

 

 

 

 

 

 

 











S’pore’s hot, dry weather claims Marine Parade coffee shop as first non-vegetation victim

S’pore’s hot, dry weather claims Marine Parade coffee shop as first non-vegetation victim

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Coffee shop bursts into flames, coaxes Goh Chok Tong away from his golf game.

marine-parade-fire

Singapore’s persistent hot and dry weather this past month has finally claimed the first non-vegetation victim.

A coffee shop in Marine Parade burst into flames this morning after hot and dry weather caused the place to become hotter until it caught fire.

So far, places that have caught fire have largely been places with vegetation.

A fire fighter, Zhao Huo Le, who put out the flames, said: “A coffee shop is susceptible to catching fire because a lot of people sit around and talk, producing a lot of hot air.”

However, on the bright side, the fire helped coax Goh Chok Tong to the estate.

Residents who saw him initially thought his presence in the area was a sign that the new general election campaign was about to start.

goh-chok-tong-fire

S’poreans set fire to Lamborghinis to show M’sians money is not important

S’poreans set fire to Lamborghinis to show M’sians money is not important

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They crash Lamborghinis to prove a point.

lamborghini-fire

Malaysians from all walks of life were given a life lesson on Friday morning after three Singapore-registered Lamborghinis en-route to Kuala Lumpur crashed on Malaysia’s North-South Expressway.

One Malaysian, Fang Huo Shao, who saw the accident and the subsequent fire, said Singaporeans are very kind to impart this life lesson that money is only good for buying expensive things that will explode: “Far from a live fast, die young mentality, this three-Lamborghini crash is to show that money is not important in life. You can set it on fire in many ways.”

Other Malaysians who witnessed the fiery accident said Singaporeans are very generous people for doing this.

Kai Shui, a Malaysian, said: “We need to thank Singaporeans for their kind giving and agreeing to help Malaysia by buying our fresh water for $0.000000015 per 1,000 litres.”

 

 

 

 

 











4 Bangladeshi cleaners awarded for Ang Mo Kio fire rescue effort

4 Bangladeshi cleaners awarded for Ang Mo Kio fire rescue effort

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A round of applause, ladies and gentlemen.

ang-mo-kio-fire-heroes

A group of four Bangladeshi cleaners who used a ladder to rescue two elderly occupants trapped in their burning flat at Block 115 Ang Mo Kio Avenue 4 on Friday morning have been awarded by the SCDF for their public spiritedness.

Upon seeing the two occupants standing on the kitchen ledge hanging onto bamboo-pole holders outside their second floor window, the cleaners got a ladder and laid mattresses on the ground.

As the elderly occupants were too scared too move, one of the cleaners went up to fetch them from the ledge, one by one.

Two other members of the public, presumably Singaporeans, were also awarded.

The last guy on the right in blue is a member of the public.

It was reported that his job is to rehabilitate injured horses.

How cool is that.

 

 

 

 

Downloading too much porn could’ve caused SingTel facility to catch fire

Downloading too much porn could’ve caused SingTel facility to catch fire

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Singapore government’s “light touch approach” to end, censoring top 1,000 instead of 100 porn sites.

lovelace

Singaporeans’ habit of downloading and streaming Internet porn might have gone overboard, after a fire broke out at the SingTel facility at Bukit Panjang yesterday afternoon due to a possible overload of online smut.

Servers that became overloaded with porn at the facility caused a possible overheating that made the place burst into flames.

The fire subsequently caused outages island-wide.

Lai Zhuo Ai, an engineer said: “As StarHub and M1 all lease SingTel’s facilities and ride on their capability, we can safely say all telcos’ subscribers have their own share of perverts who are hardcore porn downloaders.”

However, this porn overload might cause public policy to shift.

The Singapore government might put to an end it’s alleged “light touch approach”, where only 100 porn sites have been censored for symbolic purposes.

The top 1,000 sites might now be censored instead.

Kee Sio Kang, a scholar of Internet porn, said: “A lot of people will go to Hong Lim Park to protest this one.”

This article is actually to encourage you to go catch Lovelace. Oh yeah.

 

 

 

 

S’poreans shocked SingTel, StarHub, M1 all part of incestuous family

S’poreans shocked SingTel, StarHub, M1 all part of incestuous family

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One fire outage at SingTel, all telcos affected.

Update, Oct. 10, 3:41pm: 46,000 OpenNet fibre broadband connections affected by SingTel facility fire.

SingTel fire at Bukit Panjang on Oct. 9, 2013

SingTel fire at Bukit Panjang on Oct. 9, 2013

starhub-outage

m1-outage

Singaporeans from all walks of life who have signed up for different subscription plans under various telcos were shocked yesterday.

This after they learned that a fire at a SingTel facility in Bukit Panjang caused outages and disruptions to phone, cable television and Internet services offered by StarHub and M1 as well.

Pian Ren De, a local, said: “My whole life is a lie. I thought they were all separate entities. But they all lease resources from SingTel.”

This caused Singaporeans to characterise the relationship of corporate entities as “incest”.

Another Singaporean, Lai Sio Kang, said: “This means they are all in cahoots. Even though they got different names, they all share SingTel’s capabilities.”

“This is incest.”