Tag Archive | "death"

Lunch with Sumiko interview marks official end of journalism

Lunch with Sumiko interview marks official end of journalism

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1556 to 2017.

lunch-with-sumiko-tan

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who are standing hunched over slightly with one hand over their heart as they wipe away tears of regret from their eyes, are waving goodbye to journalism.

This after they read the first Lunch with Sumiko interview in The Straits Times.

One Singaporean, Song Kah, said: “This marks the official death of journalism.”

“It is a sad day for democracy and this storied, noblest of noble vocation.”

“Humanity’s slow march towards civilisation has officially come to a screeching halt.”

Other locals said even though journalism is now dead, this is not the worst thing.

Another local, Qu Ni Mah, said: “The end of an era in journalism is already upon us and we thought looking into the future will provide some respite as we long to see some silver lining.”

“Turns out Lunch With Sumiko is slated to carry on with another edition, and another, and another.”

“Death to us all, please.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





Cancel March school holidays as collective punishment for student’s insensitive LKY death hoax

Cancel March school holidays as collective punishment for student’s insensitive LKY death hoax

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This is to prevent something similar from happening in the future.

secondary-school-students

Dear New Nation,

I note with grave concern the recent hoax announcing the passing of Lee Kuan Yew allegedly by a secondary school student who is not even 16 years old that fooled a lot of people, including the international media, which sparked a worldwide frenzy.

My concern stems from the fact that this student will eventually be let off too lightly as his young age will be used as a mitigating factor for his insensitive actions.

As a firm believer in corporal punishment, I support the view that the student has to be trialed in the court of law and face the full brunt of Singapore justice, which means I am hoping he will be caned and jailed for treason for up to seven years.

His actions must be condemned in the strongest of terms because Lee Kuan Yew is a great man who is not a joking matter.

However, my views on this issue might be affected by my admiration for Lee Kuan Yew and his authoritative stance.

Hence, to temper my worldview and to acknowledge that not many people share the same extreme stand as I do, I shall instead strongly urge the authorities to dish out collective punishment instead.

I firmly believe that the student’s actions in creating the hoax must have been the result of boredom sustained during the course of the March school holidays this week.

As we all can attest, an idle mind is necessarily an evil one. Ennui leads to vandalism, vandalism leads to rape and then it will be murder and genocide.

Therefore, I urge the authorities to get rid of the one-week March school holidays from now on as collective punishment for one boy’s insensitive actions.

This will be a reminder to the rest of the students in Singapore to not misuse computers.

Plus, this is to ensure that something similar will not happen again.

Getting rid of the one-week March school holidays is necessary as this will deter future potential offenders because not much can be done to address the guilibility of the masses for believing everything they read on the Internet.

Yours sincerely,
Authoritarian Nazi

 

Other letters of interest:

Letter writer: Police allowing PAP activists to leave fliers outside flats will cause society to unravel

Letter writer: NUS Students’ Political Association is promoting human-animal relations

Retarded imagination goes wild

Retarded imagination goes wild

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Death spells uncertainty? Indeed.

I know you love Steve Jobs but…

I know you love Steve Jobs but…

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Isn’t this a tad too much?