New Nation

Everything appears so calm these past few days.

Everything appears so calm these past few days.

Waves of nostalgia has hit Singaporeans from all walks of life these past two days of Chinese New Year celebrations, as many locals said they are experiencing 1990s conditions where there were much lesser people in Singapore.

This after an estimated 1 million foreigners left Singapore the past week to go back to their home countries to celebrate Chinese New Year, with commerce and businesses grinding to a halt as an eerie calm has overtaken the country.

One Singaporean, Guo Xing Nian, said there is an appreciable change in atmosphere as the streets are less crowded and even the roads have become more empty: “Really feels like the 1990s where there were less people. The whole place seems to have a sense of normality and calm that I’ve not experienced at any other time throughout the year.”

“No feelings of claustrophobia at all.”

Other Singaporeans noted that this decline in the number of people in the country has improved living conditions as there has been a lesser need to fight for available space and the frenetic pace of everyday living has slowed down considerably.

Xiang Tong Nian, another local said he was surprised that this change is so noticeable, even though he has all along been well aware that Singapore has been reliant on foreigners: “This just means that the number of people on an island has severe repercussions on livability.”

“Singapore should really have more Chinese New Year public holidays then. It will be good for everybody as there will be more days of emptiness.”

“We could really use a bit of that.”

Everything appears so calm and normal these past two days.

Waves of nostalgia has hit Singaporeans from all walks of life these past two days of Chinese New Year celebrations, as many locals said they are experiencing 1990s conditions where there were much lesser people in Singapore.

Ad by Wikiproperty.co (Singapore)

This after an estimated 1 million foreigners left Singapore the past week to go back to their home countries to celebrate Chinese New Year, with commerce and businesses grinding to a halt as an eerie calm has overtaken the country.

One Singaporean, Guo Xing Nian, said there is an appreciable change in atmosphere as the streets are less crowded and even the roads have become more empty: “Really feels like the 1990s where there were less people. The whole place seems to have a sense of normality and calm that I’ve not experienced at any other time throughout the year.”

“No feelings of claustrophobia at all.”

Other Singaporeans noted that this decline in the number of people in the country has improved living conditions as there has been a lesser need to fight for available space and the frenetic pace of everyday living has slowed down considerably.

Xiang Tong Nian, another local said he was surprised that this change is so noticeable, even though he has all along been well aware that Singapore has been reliant on foreigners: “This just means that the number of people on an island has severe repercussions on livability.”

“Singapore should really have more Chinese New Year public holidays then. It will be good for everybody as there will be more days of emptiness.”

“We could really use a bit of that.”

This Chinese New Year, there was a lot of fun:

S’porean couples struggle to conceal rope burn marks as CNY reunion dinner cuts too close to 50 Shades V-Day weekend

Majority of couples spotted wearing long-sleeved shirts and bracelets.

Singaporean couples from all walks of life are trying their best to mask rope burns and flogging marks on their wrists and various parts of their bodies by wearing long-sleeved shirts, bracelets, bangles and coveralls.

This after this year’s traditional Chinese New Year reunion dinner occurred just three days after Valentine’s Day weekend that also marked the opening week of Fifty Shades of Grey movie in Singapore.

Ad by Wikiproperty.co (Singapore)

This confluence of two notable events caused groceries and new year goodies to fly off the shelves and caused ropes and cable ties to sell out island-wide.

Chuan Qi Pao, a young Singaporean woman, who had to wear a full-length traditional Chinese costume to hide the numerous rope burns and bruising that resulted from a weekend getaway with her boyfriend and a flogging tool with various restricting and constricting apparatuses, said: “I even had to apply concealer to some of my exposed body parts to hide the marks that did not heal in time.”

“My boyfriend is worse. He has to wear a full suit and a top hat for his reunion dinner.”

Even as a majority of couples were seen wearing bracelets, watches and scarves to hide marks, several were also seen walking awkwardly.

At press time, Chuan said she is slightly disturbed to meet her parents who were also wearing full-length clothing as if they had something to hide as well.

Singaporeans have been into Fifty Shades of Grey:

S’poreans wonder why ST reporter is full of 50 Shades orgasmic praise for LKY

Re-singlehood not boding well for young ones expecting ang bao windfall.

The increasing number of divorces in Singapore over the years is taking its toll on the younger folks.

The effects of matrimonial annihilation is showing more clearly, especially during this year’s Chinese New Year festivities, where the younger generation reportedly feel the mood sour by a few notches.

Li Hoon Le, a six-year-old boy, said: “Last year Ah Yee got give me ang bao but this year don’t have because she say she temporarily not married. And she brought a white man over for visitation and say it is her new boyfriend.”

“He looks like Woody Allen.”

As 30 percent of marriages end in acrimony in Singapore, more young children are left without proper remuneration during Chinese New Year.

Another young Singaporean, four-year-old Jin Kiam Siap, said: “My ang bao money getting lesser and lesser with each passing year.”

“Two of my aunties and three of my uncles are newly-divorced and re-singled so I cannot collect ang bao from them.”

“Worse, my mommy and daddy also divorced and are both single now. I also cannot collect ang bao from them.”

He didn’t even see it coming.

Neighbours greeting each other Happy Year of the Horse. Get it? Neigh-bours?

A Singaporean man was shocked to find out that the second day of Chinese New Year is almost coming to an end.

This after he didn’t even realised Chinese New Year was happening.

The man, Hen Jing Ya, said: “I woke up at 11 this morning as my door bell was ringing non-stop. I opened the door and outside were all my relatives and their kids who said they are here to bai nian. I was like ‘What the hell?'”

“Then I remembered walking around yesterday and noticing how all the shops were closed. Now I know why.”

“There is simply no Chinese New Year mood this year.”

Experts that New Nation interviewed said this year’s lacklustre festive mood could be due to Christmas occurring just one month ago.

And the exceptionally fast pace of life in Singapore has caused its population to feel like Chinese New Year should occur once every two years for it to feel more normal.

Another local, Xing Nian Dao, said: “It felt like last year’s Chinese New Year just happened six months ago.”

“The Singapore government should consider adding a few more months to the calender year to give Singaporeans a better-adjusted sense of time.”

Issue could not be settled at press time as ang baos lay strewn all over the floor.

A scuffle broke out this afternoon on the first day of Chinese New Year at the void deck of an HDB flat located in the east of Singapore.

This after a group of well-meaning relatives insisted that one of their kin, who is a divorcee, does not need to be given any ang baos.

The divorcee, Mei Zhang Fu, said: “But I already tell them I’m single as the divorce is finalised and as tradition mandates, I can receive their ang baos but they keep pushing me away.”

“And then all of a sudden, someone just threw a lot of ang paos at me.”

This incident is followed by another in the west of Singapore where a group of at least 15 relatives were heard shouting at each other in a competition to see who can give more ang pao money.

At press time, the minimum sum packed in an ang pao by one of the relatives boasting about his generosity was overheard to be $6.

And he’s also not planning to get married or have children anytime soon

For the tenth year in a row, Ah Boy has had to inform his grandparents and extended family that he has finished his military service, graduated from university and found an office job in an air-conditional locality. Thankfully, the annual battle to ingrain these basic facts of his life into the memory of his relatives has appeared to hit a standstill.

“I’m so sick of answering the same questions that I’ve been on autopilot since last year,” said Na Hong Bao, who partakes in the annual reunion dinner with his parents because he loves his family. “Same questions, same answers, different year. Once you come to terms with the meaninglessness of it all, you stop being bothered by it.”

The first day the Horse year has also seen a sudden uptick in the general frustration among young adults who have not married, bought a house and spawned.

“This year I decided to grow a moustache to deflect all the questions about why I’m not married,” said Jiak Ba Kwa, who has not brought back any of her boyfriends to seek approval from her family. This is because none of her exes work in the CBD, drive a car and will be able to provide for her and her future 2.4 children. This is also partly because she does not know how to sew, keep a clean house, prepare steamed pomfret and change diapers.

But actually its because she likes women.

“33 and not married is a source of shame meh? What century already nia…” she complained.

A laughing horse.

“Hundreds and thousands” line up at Waterloo Street temple for CNY prayers
by Fang Shihan, who was queueing and got bored.

The crowd only set in after noon, but the barricades had been up since midnight on the eve of Chinese New Year. According to a Cisco guard on duty, “hundreds and thousands” of the annual-faithful patiently queued up outside the Kwan Im Thong Hood Cho Temple at Waterloo street, waiting for their turn to offer prayers.

There were surprisingly no casualties despite the crush of people and the crowd was a relatively peaceful one with minimal shoving involved.

Dotting the throng of devotees were largely unlicensed streets vendors selling ‘upsized’ incense sticks. Inflation had apparently affected profit margins this year. While the incense was selling at 3 for $1 last year, costs had pushed the price to $2 this year.

According to one vendor from Malaysia, profits ranged between $200 and $1000, after paying off fines for unlicensed hawking. A first time offender would be charged $400 and a second time offender, $450. She reckons that most vendors live around Waterloo Street and says that foreigners are not allowed to set up shop in the area.