Tag Archive | "china"

President Tony Tan to personally mend ties with China using his charisma

President Tony Tan to personally mend ties with China using his charisma

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Someone charismatic and brave like him.

tony-tan-china

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who believe that a charismatic and strong-willed leader is necessary for effective governance and negotiations in this increasingly tumultuous world, are looking to President Tony Tan for leadership guidance.

This after it has been increasingly clear that a strong and brave leader, such as Tony Tan, is needed to mend ties between Singapore and China.

One Singaporean, Gan En, said she cannot imagine anyone else filling those shoes like Tony Tan can: “Tony Tan is the only one with the testicular fortitude and charisma to confront a superpower such as China and who has the ability to unite Singaporeans in the face of all adversity.”

“He is a great statesman, elected by the people to solve problems and stand up to any difficulties in our path.”

Other locals said President Tony Tan’s unique capabilities are unmatched in the world arena, as he has unanimously won the popular mandate of Singaporeans to represent the interests of this country and his people.

One other local, See Baey Qiang, said: “The way he speaks and how he carries himself is a hallmark of a natural born leader.”

“He is firm and resolute in his beliefs. He can hold a captive audience with his oratory skills and speak off the cuff, and his mannerisms will make anyone he speaks to feel like they are the centre of his attention.”

“His knowledge of world affairs and power relations are second to none.”

“And when he is tough, his resolve is unlike anything that has been seen before.”

“A true-blue politician with true steel.”

At press time, Singaporeans believe President Tony Tan can handle China by himself.

 

 





S’pore feeling ignored, sending Terrex vehicles back to China to reengage superpower

S’pore feeling ignored, sending Terrex vehicles back to China to reengage superpower

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Singapore lonely as China stopped engaging us once vehicles returned.

Terrex-Infantry-Carrier-Vehicles-china-singapore-return

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who know a desperate lover when they see one, are using their hands to cover their mouths and giggling.

This after Singapore is going to send the nine Terrex vehicles back to China after they arrived in Singapore on Monday, Jan. 30, having been detained in Hong Kong for two months.

One Singaporean, Gu Dan, said: “Singapore must be feeling lonely and neglected now that the Terrex vehicles have been sent back and China has stopped engaging us.”

“The only way to get China’s attention again and rekindle ties is to send the vehicles back so that they will pay attention to us again.”

“After two months of back-and-forth and constant attention to each other’s needs, this sudden stoppage feels lonesome.”

Other locals said Singapore should not have pressed so hard to get back the Terrex vehicles as now that we have got our wish, there is nothing left for China to say to us.

Another local, Zhen Ji Mo, said: “If only Singapore resorted to playing hard to get more.”

“Now we have pushed things too far, China has seen us at our best and also at our worst, there is no more excitement in this relationship anymore.”

“There is nothing left to the imagination. Everything is out in the open. And now Singapore wants China back but there is no answer.”

“Slut mode engaged.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





S’pore to send Terrex vehicles back to China in a bid to reengage superpower

S’pore to send Terrex vehicles back to China in a bid to reengage superpower

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Singapore lonely as China stopped engaging us once vehicles returned.

terrex-return-singapore

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who know a desperate lover when they see one, are using their hands to cover their mouths and giggling.

This after Singapore is going to send the nine Terrex vehicles back to China after they arrived in Singapore on Monday, Jan. 30, having been detained in Hong Kong for two months.

One Singaporean, Gu Dan, said: “Singapore must be feeling lonely and neglected now that the Terrex vehicles have been sent back and China has stopped engaging us.”

“The only way to get China’s attention again and rekindle ties is to send the vehicles back so that they will pay attention to us again.”

“After two months of back-and-forth and constant attention to each other’s needs, this sudden stoppage feels lonesome.”

Other locals said Singapore should not have pressed so hard to get back the Terrex vehicles as now that we have got our wish, there is nothing left for China to say to us.

Another local, Zhen Ji Mo, said: “If only Singapore resorted to playing hard to get more.”

“Now we have pushed things too far, China has seen us at our best and also at our worst, there is no more excitement in this relationship anymore.”

“There is nothing left to the imagination. Everything is out in the open. And now Singapore wants China back but there is no answer.”

“Slut mode engaged.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





China returning tanks when S’pore turns 65

China returning tanks when S’pore turns 65

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They said they learn from the best practices of Singapore.

Terrex-Infantry-Carrier-Vehicles-china-singapore-tanks-03

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who are already waiting with bated breath for what is rightfully theirs to be returned to them when they turn 65, are nodding their heads in agreement.

This after the nine Terrex Infantry Carrier Vehicles seized by China on Nov. 23, 2016, are currently being held by the China Properties Foundation (CPF) and will be returned when Singapore turns 65.

One Singaporean, Kong Ji Kim, said: “This is poetic justice.”

“I never thought I’ll see a master stroke such as this in my lifetime, like how I might not see my withdrawals because I might not live till 65.”

Other locals said the return of tanks will not be without conditions.

Another local, Gao Zao, said: “They might just decide to return it when Singapore turns 66 or 72. Can change number anytime one.”

“Who knows, maybe the tanks will be returned piece by piece on a monthly basis when Singapore turns 65.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





China to return tanks when S’pore turns 65

China to return tanks when S’pore turns 65

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They said they learn from the best practices of Singapore.

Terrex-Infantry-Carrier-Vehicles-china-singapore-tanks-03

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who are already waiting with bated breath for what is rightfully theirs to be returned to them when they turn 65, are nodding their heads in agreement.

This after the nine Terrex Infantry Carrier Vehicles seized by China on Nov. 23, 2016, are currently being held by the China Properties Foundation (CPF) and will be returned when Singapore turns 65.

One Singaporean, Kong Ji Kim, said: “This is poetic justice.”

“I never thought I’ll see a master stroke such as this in my lifetime, like how I might not see my withdrawals because I might not live till 65.”

Other locals said the return of tanks will not be without conditions.

Another local, Gao Zao, said: “They might just decide to return it when Singapore turns 66 or 72. Can change number anytime one.”

“Who knows, maybe the tanks will be returned piece by piece on a monthly basis when Singapore turns 65.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





S’poreans react to China returning underwater drone to US within a week

S’poreans react to China returning underwater drone to US within a week

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Three thoughts you must have had.

Terrex-Infantry-Carrier-Vehicles-china-singapore-tanks-02

China has returned an underwater drone to the United States within a week it was taken from the South China Sea, after both countries engaged in friendly talks.

A Chinese naval ship took the drone that uses unclassified, commercially available technology to collect oceanographic data, on Thursday about 50 nautical miles northwest of Subic Bay in the Philippines.

By the following Tuesday, the drone was returned to its rightful owner.

China seized nine Terrex Infantry Carrier Vehicles from Singapore on Nov. 23, 2016, and has not returned them yet.

Here are three thoughts Singaporeans have:

 

sian-half-auntie “At least we got to say ‘the US kenna Terrexed’ for a few days. Also shiok.”
Qiong Gong, 42-year-old teacher

 

sian-half-uncle “Finally Singapore gets a taste of its own authoritarian medicine.”
Jiak Yo, 66-year-old retired surgeon

 

happy-bird-girl “China may take away our tanks, but they may never take away my Taobao items.”
Mai Dong Xi, 17-year-old salesgirl

 

 

 

 

 

 





China holding S’pore’s tanks indefinitely gives new meaning to ‘Tanks, but no tanks’

China holding S’pore’s tanks indefinitely gives new meaning to ‘Tanks, but no tanks’

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The military gives tanks this way.

Terrex-Infantry-Carrier-Vehicles-china-singapore-tanks

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who can English, have learnt a new expression, “Tanks, but no tanks”.

This after China has been holding on to nine Terrex Infantry Carrier Vehicles since Nov. 23, without reason, rendering Singapore with tanks but no tanks.

One Singaporean, Jin Gao, said: “It is good we learn this big international relations terms, as it really helps us with our global politics lexicon.”

“Informing the world about this issue can be quite a tankless task, regardless.”

However, other locals said they do not understand at which point did Singapore tank in its relationship-building with China.

One local, An Zhua Kuan, said: “I think it is because Singapore always says she is tankful for other countries’ friendship.”

“Then China thinks we are full of tanks, so they take some from us without giving us back.”

“Really is tanks, but no tanks.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





S’pore to celebrate Tanksgiving Day on Nov. 23 every year, make it a public holiday

S’pore to celebrate Tanksgiving Day on Nov. 23 every year, make it a public holiday

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Give tanks with a grateful heart.

Terrex-Infantry-Carrier-Vehicles-china-singapore

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who appreciate that they can give tanks, are giving tanks profusely.

This after it was announced that Singapore will celebrate Tanksgiving Day on Nov. 23 every year from now on and will be making the day a public holiday.

One Singaporean, Gan En, said: “Since we gave China nine tanks on Nov. 23, 2016, it is good to look back on this day from now on annually as a reminder that there are other things in life to give tanks for.”

“Giving tanks should be customary and a ingrained practice.”

However, other locals said China taking the nine Terrex Infantry Carrier Vehicles do not really constitute giving tanks.

Another local, Huan Geh Wo, said: “No tanks, I’d rather they be mine.”

“Then, it would really be… explosive,” he said as he put on his sunglasses as The Who came on.

 

 

 

 

 

 





Anti-China Vietnamese protesters apologise to S’pore after wrongly setting fire to S’pore-run industrial parks thinking S’pore is in China

Anti-China Vietnamese protesters apologise to S’pore after wrongly setting fire to S’pore-run industrial parks thinking S’pore is in China

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Lack of maps in Vietnam to blame for geographical misunderstanding.

vietnam-singapore-china

Anti-China Vietnamese mobs, who set fire to factories in two Singapore-run industrial parks and trashed many more in southern Vietnam, have apologised to Singapore.

This after the anti-Chinese Vietnamese protesters mistakenly thought Singapore is in China.

They are angry over the recent deployment by China of an oil rig in disputed Southeast Asian waters.

VSIP Binh Duong industrial parks 1 and 2 are managed by a unit of Singapore’s Sembcorp Industries.

One anti-China Vietnamese protester, Thinc Yong An Yeurn, said that he is very, very solly about what happened: “I am very, very solly. I burn wrong building. I thought Singapore is in China. But after I pour the kerosene and burn the place down, I check the map again and think, ‘Oh shit, oh shit. Singapore is at the equator.'”

“I don’t have enough Vietnamese dong to give you. You can have some pho.”

Black Hello Kitty available for S$7 from China factory

Black Hello Kitty available for S$7 from China factory

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Haha queue like a dumb ass.

Update: The link for the China website to order the Hello Kitty has been added to this article. You’re welcome, desperados.

black-hello-kitty-china

Singaporeans who queued up last night from as early as 9 p.m. all the way to midnight to lay their hands on the latest Black Hello Kitty plush toy are getting the shock of their lives.

The Black Hello Kitty is available from China for 35 yuan, or S$7.

When this news was making the rounds, a collective groan could be heard island-wide.

One of the Black Hello Kitty plush toys was even auctioned off on ebay for $126,000.

Over 100 SMRT bus drivers hang out, invited for tea, biscuits

Over 100 SMRT bus drivers hang out, invited for tea, biscuits

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Red trucks also helped bring festive cheer.

It was a day of fun and leisure for more than 100 SMRT bus drivers who hail from China.

Taking a break from their usual daily routine driving buses round and round, a group of bus drivers took a day off to hang out, relax and shoot the breeze from as early as 8 a.m. on Monday morning at dormitories in Woodlands, where most of them reside.

Instead of going to work, more than 100 bus drivers found time to catch up and make new friends.

To ensure they are having fun away from their families they left behind when they came to Singapore to work, at least three red trucks were deployed to the scene to complement their attire and bring on the festive cheer as Christmas is coming.

Sensing that these Chinese bus drivers could be home sick, the red trucks were made to be equipped with water canons to emulate the gushing waterfalls found in China, so as to instantly provide fresh relief from the hot sun should anyone of them require a sprinkle.

But it never got down to that.

Because realising the bus drivers were getting hungry, SMRT representatives — in a show of hospitality befitting of Singapore’s culture — invited them indoors for some tea and biscuits.

The drivers then took part in Singapore’s ongoing National Conversation and only emerged at 6 p.m. fully revitalised and intellectually stimulated.

SMRT bus drivers take part in Singapore’s ongoing National Conversation during their day off on Monday.

A SMRT spokesperson told New Nation, “It was a fun-filled day for this 100-odd Chinese bus drivers. They have worked hard and served our country well. They deserve this day of rest.”

An idyllic existence. Taking pictures and talking about nothing in particular.

The spokesperson continued: “A lot of them were taking photos and smoking cigarettes. Clearly, they appreciated this mini holiday. This should set them up nicely for their permanent retirement soon.”

S’poreans confuse giant pandas with legendary Internet couple

S’poreans confuse giant pandas with legendary Internet couple

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A great number of Singaporeans apparently fainted when they heard the name “Kai Kai”.

Kai Kai and Jia Jia. Not Kai Kai and Dar Dar. Oh god no…

As pandamonium started erupting all over the mainstream media yesterday to announce that two giant pandas, Kai Kai and Jia Jia, had arrived in Singapore on a 10-year loan from China to mark two decades of close diplomatic relations, a lot of Singaporeans apparently did not take to the news too lightly or with any cheers.

And when it was announced officially that Kai Kai and Jia Jia were ready to be showcased to the world, a good majority of people actually fainted from fright.

However, it turns out that it was a case of mistaken identity.

This is because the names “Kai Kai and Jia Jia” sounds distressingly close to “Kai Kai and Dar Dar” — a pair of names belonging to the legendary Singaporean Internet couple.

For those not in the know, “Kai Kai and Dar Dar” used to own a blog in 2010 called “Dar Dar Love Kai Kai Infinitely Much Forever and ever…” that disturbingly featured “vignettes of Kailing suggestively providing oral service to the toes of, allegedly, Darren, her boyfriend of more than 2 years”, a description of the blog formulated by the astute blogger known as Sam.

[Warning: Clicking on this link will direct you to the famous montage of photos of Kai Kai and Dar Dar. If you suffer from a weak heart or poor pulse, it is advisable to contact your family doctor to seek medical clearance to deem yourself fit to view the pictures. And do contact your lawyer in case you need to make last arrangements. Just sayin’.]

Kai Kai and Dar Dar as an Internet couple gained so much notoriety to the extent that “to Kai Kai” someone has become synonymous with “sucking on someone else’s toes” in local parlance.

One of the Singaporeans who fainted but did not want to be named, said: “I don’t think it is funny at all that the two China pandas that appeared with so much hoo-ha should be named almost exactly similar to the Internet couple Kai Kai and Dar Dar.”

He continued: “The scenes of jubilant crowds welcoming the pandas and Minister of State for Trade and Industry Teo Ser Luck’s talk of this so-called “celebrity couple” did little to erase the bad memories of having Kai Kai and Dar Dar’s name pop back into my head. After six months of therapy.”

A petition is currently being put together by netizens to encourage the authorities to rename the pandas Scarlett Johansson and Mila Kunis.

Sim Wong Hoo rises up like a phoenix

Sim Wong Hoo rises up like a phoenix

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With 10 years and $1 billion spent on developing Creative Technology’s latest HanZpad tablet, is the man going full tilt?

Boo ya Apple! The HanZpad will take China by storm!

Head honcho of Creative Technology is back with a bang.

Having disappeared from the face of the media world for more than seven years, Sim Wong Hoo popped up at a press conference in Singapore last September, signalling what was then thought to be his imminent return.

And on Feb. 15, Creative’s share price bounced upwards of 71 percent, to close at $4.15, its highest since December 2010.

The big occasion? Sim announced the birth of the HanZpad Alliance in Beijing.

What on Earth is that you ask?

Well, subsequently after his Beijing appearance – since March, in fact – Sim has been chairing the HanZpad Alliance, a get-together of 20 Chinese and Taiwanese companies that manufactures, markets and distributes the spanking new HanZpad computer tablet.

At 57 years old, Singapore’s youngest billionaire is working something out with this two dozen partners and has set his sights on the Chinese market.

Creative Technology's HanZpad tablet.

Sim has made it known that Creative will have extensive control over HanZpad’s hardware specifications, chips and content framework.

On the other hand, Google’s Android software will power the device.

Moreover, Creative is setting itself apart from all competitors so far by producing Chinese-language content developed for its tablet, which includes textbooks for mathematics, science and other subjects.

And he is going to run wild with it in China.

As a sign of how far Creative is reinventing itself, here’s the figures: The company spent $1 billion on research and development over the past 10 years to make ZMS, which are new chips to power the HanZpad, alongside making other hardware technology.

Sim even admits that “maybe” Creative has even gone into the red with this project.

But it will be all worthwhile.

The purpose of the alliance is to drive the prices of electronic components production as low as possible, and translate it into affordability for users.

This takes Sim’s mind off these areas of components production to focus exclusively on making the best ZMS chips.

Creative’s share price has since settled at about $3.74 on April 5, a good sign, given that share price was at the all-time low of $2.50 last year.

The all-time high was in March 28, 2000, where it hovered at the ungodly peak of $64. (That was also the period where the U.S. tech bubble was at its most bulbous. And then everything went tits up after that…)

The HanZpad’s scheduled debut is late next month.

Thousands are expected to be manufactured, although no hard figures are provided.

Alliance members, as well as schools in China that are part of a Creative-led pilot project on e-learning with tablets, will receive the HanZpad before everyone else.

Together with the tablet, Creative has also developed a technology to translate physical books to soft copy format, at one-tenth the cost of what publishers will incur if they did it themselves.

The HanZpad will also be equipped with Chinese handwriting recognition software – a niche that will find its application for sure in China – that can accurately read different styles of handwriting.

However, Sim is quick to emphasise that he is not out to compete with Apple, which already has 70 percent of the Chinese market.

His aims are more noble.

He wants to make education available to all Chinese students and the HanZpad will come in handy.

This partly stems from his obsession with the Chinese language ever since he was a kid.

If the HanZpad does take off, it will seal this Singaporean businessman’s reputation as the brainchild of the wildest scalable business idea ever conceived in this country.

Sim is best known for building the Creative Music System in 1987, barely six years after he graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic in 1981.

His Sound Blaster device was launched in 1989 and sold 40 million units a year. By 2000, it had sold 100 million units of them.

At 45, Sim became the youngest billionaire on this sunny island.

It is still a wonder why he never qualified as one of Cleo’s top 50 eligible bachelors.

This is a 60-second reduction of the original article published in The Sunday Times on April 8, 2012.

Channel News Asia headline “deliberately misleading”

Channel News Asia headline “deliberately misleading”

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The same reader flies into blinding rage again, this time over CNA headline, demands apology.

Dear New Nation editors,

I wrote to you yesterday regarding an editorial faux pas committed by The Straits Times where I demanded an apology from their editors.

I made it perfectly clear that I was offended and I stated my reasons for all and sundry to read and empathise. I’ve received a lot of support and kind words from many who felt the same.

Thank you all for that encouragement.

Today, I opened my Internet browser to scrutinise local news and I fell off my chair as I was made to fly into a blinding rage yet again.

Barely a few hours after the offending ST article with its insensitive sub-headline appeared on the front page, Channel News Asia published a headline that is obviously deliberately misleading, and meant to cause misunderstanding and misinterpretation.

You can be the judge for yourself:

Here is a closer look:

This is the article that was published in the evening of April 2 by Channel News Asia, that broadcaster that claims to be providing you with Asian perspectives but is in fact filled with programmes of people talking incessantly about nothing in particular.

Tell me you don’t see anything wrong with this headline?

Tell me this is not deliberate and in-your-face?

Tell me this is not an insinuation!

Because it isn’t! This is published as if it was a statement of fact!

All I’m saying is that CNA is casting China in a bad light by saying that killing people through state executions is important in the implementation of domestic policies!

I know, this is not even the context and meaning of the headline.

But like I said in my previous letter, it doesn’t matter! Because all it takes is for one person to choose to feel offended, offence is taken.

Worse, one glance at the headline, and I assumed immediately that it is the pot calling the kettle black.

We all know China has one of the highest execution rates in the world.

But how much better is Singapore?

Must we be the ones to cast the first stone with our accusation?

I’m no Jesus but all I can say is that we can’t.

I am appalled and I cannot bear to read more. Editorial oversights like these must stop.

And I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who feels the same way.

There needs to be an issuance of an apology.

Or else I might be forced to do something within my personal capacity.

Yours sincerely,
An Outraged Channel News Asia and Straits Times Reader

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