Tag Archive | "CEO"

S’poreans urge SMRT CEO Desmond Kuek to join ERP so that gantries will spoil & send back to China

S’poreans urge SMRT CEO Desmond Kuek to join ERP so that gantries will spoil & send back to China

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A switching of roles will greatly benefit everyone.


Singaporeans from all walks of life, who like to drive because public transport is for nation-building efforts, have come out to offer some advice.

They are urging SMRT CEO Desmond Kuek to join Electronic Road Pricing (ERP) as Chief Executive Officer instead, as this will help ERP gantries island-wide to break down more frequently and develop hairline cracks, which will cause them to be sent back to China for repair for several years.

One Singaporean, Mei Huai Guo, said: “Things that must spoil, don’t spoil. Things that shouldn’t spoil, always spoil. Why like that?”

“CTE weekday morning ERP rate is $5 for cars. If one month can spoil twice, I would be so happy.”

Other Singaporeans said even if the SMRT CEO is unable to make the full transition to ERP and help their gantries to spoil more often, he should still go there on a short stint to learn how they make their thing not spoil so often.

Another Singaporean, Didi Pai, said: “Life in Singapore can be made so much happier if things can just turn out another way.”







S’poreans take responsibility for making SMRT CEO’s North-South, East-West lines spoil at the same time

S’poreans take responsibility for making SMRT CEO’s North-South, East-West lines spoil at the same time

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They want to start fundraising campaign to ensure he gets paid more than S$2.2 million next year to prevent same incident.


Singaporeans from all walks of life, who like to take the MRT train because cars are for rich people, are feeling apologetic and sincerely sorry.

This after they caused the North-South and East-West MRT Line to break down at the same time on 7/7/15 during peak hour as they all went home together in the evening at 7pm.

One Singaporean, Jin Soh Lee, said he would like to personally apologise to SMRT CEO Desmond Kuek for causing him inconvenience and dealing with this issue after his office hours: “I’m sorry Desmond Kuek. I caused your MRT system to break down again, especially after your face appear in the newspaper big big saying how you personally ensure SMRT is run properly.”

“So, please forgive me and my fellow commuters for making you work harder during your evening family time to oversee that there are no more train faults even when all of these problems are not your doing.”

Another Singaporean, Gei Ni Qian, went beyond apologising and insisted on doing more on his part to ensure the quality of MRT trains improve: “I would like to donate money to the SMRT CEO to make sure he gets paid more than S$2.2 million as compensation.”

“If we paid more for his salary every year, none of these would have happened.”

“Eh wait…”








S’poreans apologise to Scoot CEO: ‘Sorry we make your aeroplane spoil & give you money’

S’poreans apologise to Scoot CEO: ‘Sorry we make your aeroplane spoil & give you money’

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They promise they will be better passengers next time and pledged to remain calm even if delay is 48 hours.


Singaporeans from all walks of life who pay lesser money to take budget aeroplanes have come out to collectively apologise to Scoot CEO Campbell Wilson.

This after they caused his airline’s Singapore-to-Perth flight to delay for more than 21 hours on Saturday evening, which caused the Scoot CEO to write a heartfelt apology where he said the airline is not responsible for reimbursing the hotel stays of affected passengers because it is stated clearly in the terms and conditions.

Da Fei Ji, a passenger who was affected, said: “I’m sorry Campbell Wilson, great CEO of Scoot, solver of passengers’ problems. It is my fault and the fault of my fellow passengers as our presence on your aeroplane caused it to spoil.”

“We also deeply regret that we made you take time out of your busy day to write an apology. It shouldn’t have to come down to this: Addressing the concerns of your passengers.”

“This problem is certainly above your pay scale, Mr CEO Great Man. We should just give you all our money because you deserve it and then ask for your forgiveness.”

Other passengers said they will behave themselves better next time Scoot breaks down again and will tolerate delays of up to 48 hours without demanding assistance and information like how other paying customers are treated.

Dui Bu Qi, another passenger, said: “All the passengers shouldn’t have taken the flight together in the first place. If we all took the plane at another time, this wouldn’t have happened and caused you so much trouble and put you in a difficult position.”

“How inconsiderate of us.”

At press time, other passengers are still kneeling down outside Scoots office begging for forgiveness.


S’poreans have been deeply sorry:

S’poreans apologise to Transport Minister Lui Tuck Yew for causing public transport fares to increase again










S’poreans hope ERP CEO can join SMRT to help trains run as smoothly as gantries

S’poreans hope ERP CEO can join SMRT to help trains run as smoothly as gantries

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ERP system forever never breaks down in Singapore.


Singaporeans from all walks of life, who enjoy taking public transport because cars are for rich people, are requesting that the CEO in charge of Electronic Road Pricing (ERP) to join SMRT.

This after the MRT train system broke down twice in one day last week and the Bukit Panjang LRT system completely failed to move on March 9, 2015, causing commuters to walk on the tracks.

One Singaporean, Didi Pai, said: “The CEO of ERP must be a very good leader because he cause ERP gantries to never break down before, forever working perfectly, beep beep beep, deducting money all year round, no problem.”

“He should teach SMRT CEO Desmond Kuek a few tricks on how to make the trains not break down.”

Other Singaporeans said CEOs of other organisations should also consider having a short chat with the SMRT CEO to exchange ideas.

Ho Seh Wan, a local, said: “I think the CEOs of GIRO and CPF should go and talk to the SMRT CEO.”

“GIRO and CPF damn satki one, whole year also work very well, very punctual, deduct money on the dot, never spoil or delay before one.”


Why SMRT cannot learn from ERP?

S’pore’s ERP named a technological marvel as it is the opposite of SMRT train system








More S’poreans applying to be Temasek CEO

More S’poreans applying to be Temasek CEO

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Hundreds have submitted their CVs, looking for job security.


Temasek Holdings’ newly appointed chairman Lim Boon Heng has said the hunt for the next CEO of the investment firm is still ongoing.

One-time successor, Charles Goodyear, abruptly resigned in 2009 as CEO, and it has been four years of fruitless search.

This has led Singaporeans to feel inclined to help Temasek. They have started to send in their CVs to be considered for the top job.

A cab driver, Jia De Shi, 49, said he has submitted his CV to Temasek for consideration: “I take more risk sitting behind the wheel everyday as a cabby. I have shown that I have skin in the game and an appetite for risk and swift decisions. Please consider me to be CEO.”

But he is likely to face stiff competition.

A fresh graduate from NUS, Gan Pi Yeh, said: “I did an internship with a media company before. So I believe I’ve what it takes to be a CEO of a Singaporean company that does knowledge economy stuff.”

Temasek’s portfolio is valued at $215-billion, which is worth twice as much as Malaysia.

The current CEO is Ho Ching, 60, wife of Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong.

SMRT new CEO to perform miracles

SMRT new CEO to perform miracles

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Insurmountable problems abound besides ensuring commuters don’t have to do the tunnel walk of shame that often.

Desmond Kuek, the new boss of SMRT, is expected to perform miracles to turn things around.

SMRT has sworn in a new chief in the form of Desmond Kuek, a 49-year-old former Chief of Defence Force, who has made the giant leap from the military to a quasi-military organisation that is still linked to the government.

As the new boss, he has his work cut out for him already because he is left to deal with what’s left of a train system that is increasingly falling apart due to the population explosion.

One of the top priorities for Desmond is to ensure that trains run on time and are not subjected to break downs (ever again) that will result in Singaporeans dry humping one another.

Based on past experiences, the buttocks-to-buttocks-to-crotch rubbing was unpleasant for many a Singaporean.

Next, the new boss must also ensure that the air con inside the trains cannot be too cool or too warm. Either way will lead to discomfort and cause commuters to express their hate on Facebook and Twitter. This will cause SMRT’s share price to nose dive.

Also of great importance is the need to prevent all passengers from flatulence. Breaking wind in a confined space is to be made into a criminal offence punishable by death.

Desmond must also make sure that Stomp, the xenophobic thrash site by Singapore Press Holdings run by nincompoops, do not any how write articles saying the train doors open to Narnia.

He would also have to ensure that when the train is packed full of people, the doors can still close without trapping people’s buttocks or crotches.

He must also ensure that all elderly and those with difficulty with mobility have a place to sit. All the time.

More importantly, he must also make sure the glass panels do not have residue from people’s hair gel or oily scalps after leaning on it.

Outside of the train, he must make sure that everyone stands on the left of the escalator because it is the right thing to do. People can only stand on the right if that is what is left to do.

He must also make sure that Happy Lemon, the stall that sells bubble tea at Tanjong Pagar Xchange, does not run out of green tea. This is because every time I want to order Green Tea Rock Salt and Cheese after lunch, they say they don’t have green tea any more. Like that how to have a complete meal and balance lifestyle, right?

Last but not least, he must encourage the PAP potentate to take the train with him more often. So that they will repent and apologise for not seeing things from the perspective of ordinary Singaporeans.

With so many issues to tackle, Desmond must be thinking he should have just retired and gone to the Bahamas.

Cycle of logic: Epic illustration is epic

Cycle of logic: Epic illustration is epic

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Why do Singaporeans sometimes feel every problem is because of the PAP?

In other news:

Bad timing to blame for fingerpointing at PAP

PM Lee was to go on scheduled leave. Reported on Dec. 16.

News of PM Lee's scheduled leave broke on the same day as news of someone with initiative broke the MRT glass door panel.

Ex-CEO of Singapore-based tech start-up disses Facebook, Google

Ex-CEO of Singapore-based tech start-up disses Facebook, Google

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Start-up subsequently releases statement distancing themselves from ex-CEO.

Johan Stael von Holstein, the ex-CEO of MyCube, a Singapore-based company that seeks to build the world’s first Social Exchange by allowing users to own, control, and monetise their digital data, recently tweeted on Sept. 22: “Best part of being a free agent again is that I can say what I want. I despise what Google and Facebook does and Zuckeberg IS the devil.”

Stael von Holstein, an ardent advocate of online privacy, ownership and control, made these comments after a string of events in recent months where he exited the post of CEO of MyCube to become chairman and ambassador, only to announce that he would step down as chairman but still maintain second-largest ownership of the company.

This string of events started on Aug. 8, following an investment from Black Ocean to become the majority owner of MyCube, the start-up announced that Stael von Holstein would still remain as chairman and ambassador despite stepping down as CEO.

However, on Aug. 18, Johan released his own public statement on Google+ saying he would step down as chairman while maintaining second largest ownership “for the time being”.

MyCube subsequently clarified in a statement on Sept. 26, following the Sept. 22 tweet, that Stael von Holstein was no longer part of the start-up: “Please note that former MyCube CEO Johan Stael von Holstein no longer has any ongoing role with MyCube and will not be serving as company ambassador as previously announced. Any public statements by Stael von Holstein are his opinions alone and not endorsed by or representative of those of the company.”

It is unclear the exact events that transpired but Stael von Holstein has been known to be a vocal critic of the invasion of privacy and ownership of private data by social networks like Facebook and Google+.

A couple of weeks ago, New Nation reported on the winner of MyCube’s uber-prestigious marketing campaign which saw the hiring of 33 interns from 19 countries with exciting perks, plus the top-performing intern walking away with $10,000 extra cash to pursue his own entrepreneurial activities.

These comments by Stael von Holstein come on the heels of the widespread discussion of recent changes to Facebook’s apps where user data is mined and effortless sharing is encouraged on Facebook so that users can access more content by third-party providers.

Read the original article here.