Asian species of cactus wasn’t supposed to be this long.
Saying how they had not anticipated what could have excited the vegetation to grow so quickly and so thickly, or to engage in such mimicry — possibly as a result of genetic mutation — planners of the carefully curated greenhouse will allow the authorities to step in to censor the vulgar vegetation as it is not in line with the state’s image as a virginal paradise that embraces Asian Values.
See Baey Tng, a source familiar with the situation, said: “Singapore is still a conservative Asian society and we cannot allow Western, or even African, influences to penetrate our way of life.”
Singaporeans from all walks of life who like to protect their virgin eyes from dirty things, said they support the authorities in taking a firm and hard stance against the cactus by cutting it off.
Jin Tit, a local, said: “This sort of cactus has no place in our Singapore society. Now they appear in public in a glass dome, next thing we know, Singaporeans will use it as an aspirational ideal where more people will aim to emulate such lengths and heft.”
“We must cut this cactus off before it puts unattainable standards in the minds of our local women.”
“We must put an end to such immoral cultivation practices.”