Tag Archive | "AWARE Singapore"

SAF halts all training, deems war misogynistic, offensive

SAF halts all training, deems war misogynistic, offensive

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This after AWARE Singapore said so.

singapore-army

The Singapore Armed Forcecs has halted all training exercises and might be winding the organisation down soon.

This after feminist association AWARE Singapore pointed out that war is misogynistic and the penis is a tool of oppression.

Supreme General of the Army, Jin Seow Onn, said he is heartened to hear that war will cease because some women said so: “It is great that I can get paid without training so hard now.”

“I hope there is no more IPPT also, because IPPT is also misogynistic and oppressive.”

 

 

 

 

Tin Pei Ling’s Kate Spade bag attracts numerous bidders…

Tin Pei Ling’s Kate Spade bag attracts numerous bidders…

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… with different motives for wanting to successfully bid for her bag.

One bidder has expressed interest in buying the Kate Spade bag as a good luck charm.

Since news broke that Tin Pei Ling is donating her infamous Kate Spade bag to women’s association AWARE Singapore for a fundraising auction, up to a dozen anonymous bidders have expressed interest in getting their hands on the coveted piece of leather.

Tin’s bag, which propelled her towards Internet notoriety and turned her into an overnight meme during the General Election 2011, will be put up for auction at AWARE’s Supersonic Big Ball, which will be held on Sept. 10, 2012.

The opening bid starts at $500, and the bag is reportedly still in mint condition, most probably because she can no longer be seen in public with it without risking an egg to the face.

Self-styled political pundit, Eric de Yaya, said the Kate Spade bag is a poignant reminder about everything that is wrong with Singaporean women these days and it is foolish to think this auction can pass without drawing negative energy from inside the Interweb.

De Yaya, who is also a part-time fashion police, said: “The Kate Spade bag has come to represent all of the First World Problems women face in Singapore: Wrong size, wrong colour and an ultimate fashion faux pas.”

But not everyone who is into the bag is buying it to make a fashion statement.

One bidder, who refused to be named, said she is willing to bid up to $20,000 for it, as the return on investment is estimated to be quite high.

The anonymous bidder said in broken English about this possible good luck charm: “I hopes the Kate Spade bag will bringing me good lucks. And land me a high-paying job, hopefully.”

She also said: “I am a strong believer in lucks. I am generally not spectacular, quite stupid, but I hope I can make also 15 grand a month doing stuff. And I think the bag will make me heng heng also, kio liew lian*, you know.”

*Editor’s note: “Kio liew lian”, is Hokkien and translates directly as “pick up durian” and it means “enjoying payoffs with minimal effort”. This is because durian falls from trees and you need to be there at the right time to enjoy the fruits without labour. 

But not all bidders are hoping to get hold of the bag for personal gratification.

One other prospective bidder, Magnanimous Chong, said: “I hope to buy the Kate Spade bag and set it on fire to exorcise all the demons and put this horrid aspect of Singapore’s past behind us.”

Chong also said: “The process will be documented and put on YouTube.”

Mentos, The Freshmaker, wants S’poreans to copulate

Mentos, The Freshmaker, wants S’poreans to copulate

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Newly released video to cause more children, greater debt for parents.

Mentos, The Freshmaker, has released a video titled “Mentos National Night” in line with Singapore’s Aug. 9 National Day.

Calling the celebrations during National Day evening as “National Night”, the video wants Singaporeans to perform their “civic duty” by having sexy times after a culmination of passion and patriotism.

The chorus of the song goes: “It’s National Night/ Yeah/ So let’s make fireworks ignite.”

If it comes to pass, many Singaporean parents will be saddled with debt and children in nine months’ time.

The song also refers to a woman’s body as an electrical appliance, which will draw the ire of AWARE Singapore:

Industry insiders claim that Durex, The Sexmaker, is expected to hit back at The Freshmaker for this marketing stunt as this might cause a dip in their latex sales.

The song, however, has gone down well with Catholics, who frown on the use of contraceptives and the belief that the Earth revolves around the Sun.

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