Tag Archive | "Apple"

Highly religious iPhone-using S’poreans in crisis after finding out Apple CEO Tim Cook is gay

Highly religious iPhone-using S’poreans in crisis after finding out Apple CEO Tim Cook is gay

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They might have to stop using the Internet soon.

tim-cook-steve-jobs

A major crisis has broken out in Singapore causing highly religious Singaporeans to consider unplugging from the Internet altogether and going back to barter trade and using stone and bronze tools.

This after they found out that Apple’s CEO Tim Cook is gay.

The confession was previously made public on Bloomberg, but attention was brought to it after it was revealed that the world’s biggest brands such as Google, Coke and KFC are all pro-homosexuality.

This has caused the highly religious people in Singapore who are iPhone users to come to the realisation that they have been secretly financing the gay lifestyle of Apple’s CEO, having purchased his company’s products, such as the popular iPhone 6s and 6s Plus, Apple tablets and MacBooks.

Currently, some 70 percent of smartphone users in Singapore uses an Apple iPhone.

Yeshu Aini, a local religious person, said: “My entire life is in disarray. I have all along been an Apple fan and bought the iPhone 5 and 6 that were developed under Tim Cook’s charge. Therefore, I have been directly contributing to sin by financing it. This has allowed homosexuality to thrive.”

“No wonder this latest 5.5-inch iPhone 6s Plus feels so good in my hands. It is because this is the average length of the male anatomy.”

The realisation that the head of Apple is gay has given cause for concern as others remain extra wary about the international scope of deception.

This could signal that the CEOs of Samsung, Xiaomi and LG are all also secretly gay and waiting for the right time to unveil their as-yet-undisclosed homosexual selves in public soon, which could signal the end of all technology use for the highly religious people.

Local magician Lawrence Khong is expected to take to the pulpit on Sunday to encourage his flock to switch to using pay phones from now on, or even better, denounce technology altogether as a whole to be Satan’s work.

 

 

 

 

 











Apple CEO confesses he’s gay, causes crisis in FCBC and FotF as many members are iPhone users

Apple CEO confesses he’s gay, causes crisis in FCBC and FotF as many members are iPhone users

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Lawrence Khong to stop using iPhone and even denounce technology altogether.

tim-cook-steve-jobs

A major crisis has broken out at FCBC and FotF, two pro-nuclear family organisations in Singapore.

This after it was revealed that Apple’s CEO Tim Cook is gay. The confession was made public on Bloomberg on Oct. 30, 2014.

This has caused members in FCBC and FotF in Singapore who are iPhone users to come to the realisation that they have been secretly financing the gay lifestyle of Apple’s CEO as they have been buying his company’s products, such as the popular iPhone 5 and 6 and Apple tablets.

Some 70 percent of smartphone users in Singapore uses an Apple iPhone.

Yeshu Aini, a local religious person, said: “My entire life is in disarray. I have all along been an Apple fan and bought the iPhone 5 and 6 that were developed under Tim Cook’s charge. Therefore, I have been directly contributing to sin by financing it and this has allowed homosexuality to thrive.”

“No wonder this latest 5.5-inch iPhone 6 feels so good in my hands. It is because this is the average length of the male anatomy.”

The confession by the head of Apple has also caused others to be extra wary as the international scope of deception could also signal that the CEOs of Samsung, Xiaomi and LG are all also secretly gay and waiting for the right time to unveil their deception.

Local magician Lawrence Khong is expected to take to the pulpit on Sunday to encourage his flock to switch to using pay phones from now on, or even better, denounce technology altogether as a whole to be Satan’s work.

 

Here are all the gay articles on New Nation:

Conservative S’poreans demand S’pore Zoo investigate if they possess gay animals

Reader is troubled by the state of sex education in Singapore

Wear White campaign organiser realises white is made out of gay colours

Colourful MRT lines show that public transport is gay: Reader

Abercrombie & Fitch promoting homosexuality, exhibitionism in Singapore

6 rainbow buildings in S’pore that have stood up for gay rights

NDP 2014 to remove all LGBT elements from performance celebration

Letter writer: Ban Adam Lambert from performing

Respect to Pastor Lawrence Khong for casting adulteress aside

More S’poreans considering taking up homosexuality to advance investment banking career

A-Mei’s Rainbow song can spread homosexuality, S’pore authorities warn

Reader forgives government for maligning City Harvest Church

Several gay men turn straight at the sight of Serina Wee

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 





I know you love Steve Jobs but…

I know you love Steve Jobs but…

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Isn’t this a tad too much?

Apple products are like boobs

Apple products are like boobs

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You just know what to do with them. Steve Jobs created products that reflected his life philosophy — he did what felt right.

By Apple Slut

You know you want one. Photo: Rutger de Moddertukker

I held my first Apple product in 2006 – I was a late bloomer. It was a 2GB iPod shuffle, light shiny green, and had a smiley face engraved at the back. It was a valentine’s day present from my first boyfriend.

Years later, I was to receive another handheld music device from the fruit company – an iPod nano – from the current boyfriend. 8GB worth of songs with a touch screen responsive enough that I can switch songs while biking to work and light enough to hold while I’m running with it.

My nickname (only to a close few who get to see all my Apple shit) in University was the Apple Slut. Ok, actually I picked that name and forced everyone to call me that. Read the full story

How Steve Jobs changed the way iWrite

How Steve Jobs changed the way iWrite

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With the iPhone, I’m forced to write streamlined and punchy prose.

By Belmont Lay

As you’re reading these lines, dear reader, it is imperative to know – given the news of Steve Job’s demise trickling in through my iPhone*sob :(* – that this missive you’re reading was written entirely on, well, an iPhone.

As a writer, I am and shall be forever indebted and grateful to Steve and his creations.

Steve’s gift to people like me (and I believe a host of others) was his foresight, intended or otherwise, to enhance our abilities, in a somewhat mutant kind of way.

These days, I can put ideas to touch screen pretty much anytime, anywhere.

I can research an article, look up sources, fact-check, edit and re-write as and when I feel like it.

Without skipping a beat.

Case-in-point: This article about Isabella Loh and the bridge-burning fracas she got herself into that was published three weeks ago was entirely penned, erm, I mean, pressed on an iPhone.

I was out window shopping on a Saturday but that was no excuse to NOT churn out a piece while on the go.

I don’t believe for a second that Steve set out making the iPhone thinking that it can be co-opted and exploited the way I have.

But he created a device with very flexible functionality.

The note-taking feature was never made for prose, but that doesn't mean you cannot try to use it for writing.

If you know a thing or two behind the science of writing, you should be aware that writing is carried out in a burst-pause-review-repeat manner. And coincidentally, this temperament fits right into the way the iPhone allows writers to function. And bloom.

So here’s an unintended consequence, a somewhat rather fortuitous upside to it all: With the iPhone’s physical design the way it is, it has built-in restrictions that in fact work in favour of writers who aim for streamlined, efficient and punchy prose.

Yes, I write most of my stuff on the Notes device, yes, THAT yellow Notes device that was actually made for short one or two-worded reminders and not full, grammatically-correct sentences.

And yes, the touch screen key pad isn’t exactly spacious and typing can take up precious cognitive energy.

But despite all these so-called shortcomings, as a rule of thumb, anything that is too tedious and too long to write on an iPhone is very usually too tedious and too long for anyone to read.

The iPhone, undoubtedly, has set the parameters very well for me. And I am inclined to believe, for you, too.

Plus, the fact that I can write as and when I please, because Notes holds that thought for you, I now have a much lower probability of misplacing a thought.

Remember, a flurry of short bursts of writing, is followed by pauses to review what was written and then back to more short bursts, reviewing and pauses?

That’s what makes writing on an iPhone work, especially while on the go, such as on a train or waiting for somebody or the bus.

You will never lose what you’ve written because Notes can be synced to email and everything will be cached.

So, for those of you who are not happy with the iPhone 4S, because it’s not exactly an iPhone 5, don’t be a bitch, ok?

When I first got my hands on an iPhone 4 in late July this year, having never used a smartphone in my existence, it didn’t feel like anything that came from this Earth.

The smooth glass screen, the sleekness of the casing and the solo button defied intuition, but has more or less set the parameters and influenced how designers build phones and tablets.

You must know and remember this: The iPhone, ever since its first generation was launched four years old, has pushed the limits of industrial design.

This is basically the best damn thing Man could have mustered at this stage in our evolution.

I can only leave you with this bit of funny you might have encountered in one form or another: God made creation in six days. On the seventh, He outsourced everything to  China.

So, be thankful. Because, or else, your iPhone would never have been assembled.

You never would have read this.

And you would have been poorer for it.

Thanks Steve, you’ll be missed.

The cult of Steve Jobs

The cult of Steve Jobs

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These days, it is easy to measure how well-loved a celebrity is.

By Terence Lee

Facebook and the Twitterverse lit up with updates this morning about the death of Steve Jobs, the founder and visionary of Apple.

You can literally tell how well-loved certain celebrities are by the number of tweets dedicated to them after their death.

When Amy Winehouse died earlier this year, not many people made noise. Sure, her fans mourned, but my Facebook wall wasn’t flooded with updates about the soulful singer. Read the full story

Apple accused of defending environmental devastation

Apple accused of defending environmental devastation

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A prominent Chinese environment activist accused Apple Inc. of hiding the environmental pollution caused by its suppliers.

Ma Jun, director of the Institute of Public & Environmental Affairs, said the Beijing-based advocacy group found polluted water and was told of hazardous gas in areas surrounding plants in China believed to be Apple suppliers. In a report Wednesday, the IPE called Apple “stubbornly evasive” and said its refusal to discuss suppliers “can only be seen as a deliberate refusal of responsibility” for environmental issues.

As proof of its findings, the institute released videos, including one shot this year showing Mr. Ma touring canals filled with a white substance in water leading to the Yangtze River near a factory in Wuhan, China. The report labeled the factory a “suspected” Apple supplier. The IPE said sediment samples from the site tested in June contained heavy metals, including nickel and an abnormally high quantity of copper.

Whether the factory is an Apple supplier couldn’t be determined and IPE’s tests couldn’t be verified by the Wall Street Journal.

Apple doesn’t identify most of its suppliers. But it appears to have taken action against affiliated companies that were not complying with environmental laws. The company’s 2011 report, released in February, said it found and took corrective actions on 80 facilities that weren’t storing or handling hazardous materials properly, and 41 that weren’t recycling or disposing of hazardous wastes properly as required by law.

Apple didn’t list the companies or the specific violations.

This is a 30-second reduction of the original article here and here (South China Morning Post requires subscription).

Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak: Creative Technology? Never heard of it

Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak: Creative Technology? Never heard of it

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Getting topnotch speakers to a civil servant-run event on raising productivity isn’t enough to encourage innovation in Singapore.

By Fang Shihan

steve wozniak

Photo: Campus Party Mexico

THE event started off promisingly enough, with the Other Steve slated to speak about: “Innovation and Creativity In the 21st Century”. Organised by Singapore’s WDA and NTUC LearningHub, the session began with a keynote speech by Ms Josephine Teo, Assistant Secretary General of NTUC.

Oh no, you heard alarm bells going off too? Government? A People’s Action Party Member-of-Parliament? INNOVATION?? *beep beep!* cognitive dissonance!

Wait… Read the full story

Just being Ris Low

Just being Ris Low

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New Nation catches up with the former beauty queen, as well as actress Irene Ang and magicians J C Sum and ‘Magic Babe’ Ning at the m:idea Youth Choice Awards.

By Dannon Har

Arriving late on scene but enjoying the limelight nonetheless, Ris Low ladies and gentlemen. Photo: KIMBERLY ONG

Award winners

Cutest Male Personality I Wanna Bring Home – Dai Yang Tian

Hottest Female Personality I Wanna Date – Joanne Peh

Best OMG! MomentRis Low’s April Fool’s Day prank on 987FM

Band I Wanna Throw Myself At – Jack & Rai

Celeb Duo I Wanna Chill With – The Muttons

Coolest Blogger I Wanna Gossip With (Xoxo) – Xiaxue

Favourite Nightspot – Zouk

Favourite Tech Brand – Apple

Favourite Fashion Brand – Topshop/Topman

Favourite Restaurant – Swensen’s

Favourite Dessert Café – Frolick

Favourite Online Store – Love, Bonito

AVID reader of The Business Times? Then consider yourself in the same league as former beauty queen Ris Low.

“People who don’t know me might think that I am a shallow person, but mind you I do read Business Times one okay!” she says.

She also admits to putting on her best behaviour recently, considering that her 24 months probation for credit card fraud is finally coming to an end.

And yeah, she had just won the “Best OMG! Moment” award for two years running at the m:idea Youth Choice Awards held last Saturday.

The event is organised by m:idea – Singapore’s first youth-led media conglomerate from Ngee Ann Polytechnic.

But some things don’t change: Ris arrived late (read: after the event), and one wonders if this was another publicity stunt. Her excuse this time? Bad weather and vehicular malfunctions.

The event saw about 200 people turn up. Youths gave their verdict on their favourite celebs and brands by casting over 58,000 votes between November 15 to December 14 last year.

Popular celebs that made the red carpet event include heartthrob Nat Ho, funny host Irene Ang, comedic DJs The Muttons, local musicians Jack and Rai, and illusionists J C Sum and ‘Magic Babe’ Ning, just to name a few.

Irene Ang, a famous comedienne, cafe owner, and movie producer, had audiences laughing out loud.

Better known as Singlish-speaking, flowery-dressed, Ah Lian, Rosie Phua from the hit sitcom Phua Chu Kang, Irene turned heads and melted hearts as she stole the show with her unique brand of humour.

“I come from the school of hard-knocks, hard-work, and heart-breaks,” says Irene when asked how she became so good at what she does.

Her wisdom for the young and entrepreneurial: “The thing is, don’t give up so easily, and if it doesn’t work, be brave enough to say this is not what I am good at, let me look for something else; because you’re still young; so when you are young don’t feel like you have to get it right the first time.”

Want more advice from top celebs?

“We use Facebook alot” says Ning the ‘Magic Babe’, lashes fluttering. “It’s really wasted if you aren’t contemporary; we see ourselves as commercial artists and you need to constantly revamp and be in tune with what today’s people wanna see.”

J C Sum added: “With YouTube we can see what other people are doing so we make sure we don’t do anything that anyone is doing; and what we do is first in the world.”

But there’s more to it.

“If you want to do it (magic) commercially, for money; just understand that this is showbiz and it is a different ballgame altogether just like any other commercial creative artist.”

Finding it difficult to resist, I asked them for next week’s winning 4D numbers (since they successfully predicted the winning digits before). Ask and you shall receive, right?

“Zero, zero, zero, zero,” says J C Sum confidently.

But I wouldn’t bet on it if I were you.

  • Eager audiences line the red carpet anticipating for the celebrities that should arrive anytime now..or now..or now.. Photo: KIMBERLY ONG
  • No it’s not a protest. Nat Ho’s fan club came down in full-force bearing posters, placards and neon signs all for the sake of fandom. Photo: KIMBERLY ONG
  • The ‘bad weather’ Ris Low was talking about. Somehow other celebs managed to come on time. Sorta. Photo: KIMBERLY ONG
  • Multi-talented artist and entrepreneur Irene Ang graced the event as a Celebrity guest host. Photo: KIMBERLY ONG
  • Winning “Celebrity Duo I Wanna Chill Out With”, The Muttons agree that the best chill-out spot is still at home. Photo: KIMBERLY ONG
  • Duane Ho, finalist in Singapore Idol 3, is here to do a surprise opening number for the m:idea Youth Choice Awards 2011. Photo: KIMBERLY ONG
  • Luminiq: Dance crew and runners up of One Moment of Glory. Photo: KIMBERLY ONG
  • Dual-wielding Sai action by 'Magic Babe' Ning. This scene was probably more alluring than the illusion itself. Photo: KIMBERLY ONG
  • Dannon poses with Ris: She does look smarter now! Maybe it was just a matter of wearing the right accessories. Photo: KIMBERLY ONG

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