Tag Archive | "alcohol"

Alcohol failed to cause riot at Clarke Quay past 3 years since Little India riot occurred

Alcohol failed to cause riot at Clarke Quay past 3 years since Little India riot occurred

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Authorities not sure what went right.

clarke-quay-drinking

Authorities still grappling for answers as to why the Little India riot occurred in December three years ago were left even more puzzled as watering hole Clarke Quay did not experience a similar incident the previous year, last year and this year.

This despite Clarke Quay having all the elements there at one place to start the most proper and epic riot.

An official spokesperson, Qu Da Jia, said: “All the contributing factors present in Little India three Decembers ago have been similarly available in Clarke Quay throughout the past three years: People, alcohol and dustbins for tossing.”

“But nothing happened.”

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who can see things clearly for what they are if they are sober enough, have also expressed their amazement that Clarke Quay was not ground zero given that there are more drunks there and alcohol is way overpriced.

Qu Pia Zui, a local said: “A bottle of beer for S$14? I’m surprised no one has started a fight over that yet.”

However, the lack of riots at Clarke Quay has been shown to be a result of expensive alcohol possessing certain anti-rioting elements.

A Singaporean scientist, Dr Lim Kar Tor had discovered that the two main anti-rioting properties present in expensive alcohol are called “wealth” and “opportunity”, which make a difference in the reactions of drinkers.

Dr Lim explained then: “You can find these properties called ‘wealth’ and ‘opportunity’ only in expensive alcohol. Once you’ve consumed enough of it, you wouldn’t be upset with your lot in life.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





Alcohol failed to cause riot at Clarke Quay the past 2 years since Little India riot occurred

Alcohol failed to cause riot at Clarke Quay the past 2 years since Little India riot occurred

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Authorities not sure what went right.

clark-quay-drunks

Authorities still grappling for answers as to why the Little India riot occurred in December two years ago were left even more puzzled as watering hole Clarke Quay did not experience a similar incident last year and this year.

This despite having all the elements there at one place to start the most proper and epic riot.

An official spokesperson, Qu Da Jia, said: “All the contributing factors present in Little India two Decembers ago have been similarly available in Clarke Quay throughout the past two years: People, alcohol and dustbins for tossing.”

“But nothing happened.”

Singaporeans from all walks of life have also expressed their amazement that Clarke Quay was not ground zero given that there are more drunks there and alcohol is way overpriced.

Qu Pia Zui, a local said: “A bottle of beer for $12? I’m surprised no one has started a fight over that yet.”

However, the lack of riots at Clarke Quay has been shown to be a result of expensive alcohol possessing certain anti-rioting elements.

A Singaporean scientist, Dr Lim Kar Tor had discovered earlier in March last year that the two main anti-rioting properties present in expensive alcohol are called “wealth” and “opportunity”, which make a difference in the reactions of drinkers.

Dr Lim explained then: “You can find these properties called ‘wealth’ and ‘opportunity’ only in expensive alcohol. Once you’ve consumed enough of it, you wouldn’t be upset with your lot in life.”

 

 

 

 

 











Public drinking prohibitions not effective as 3 men arrested at Thaipusam still smelt of alcohol

Public drinking prohibitions not effective as 3 men arrested at Thaipusam still smelt of alcohol

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Singapore has failed all Singaporeans again.

thaipusam-arrests

 

Three men, aged between 28 and 33, arrested for rowdy behaviour at the annual Thaipusam procession on Tuesday, were said to have smelt of alcohol, according to the Singapore Police who revealed the details only a day later in a Facebook post on Feb. 4, 2015.

Their arrests came after the scuffle they were in ended with a policemen sent to hospital.

Police said its officers were sent to the junction of Serangoon Road and Desker Road at about 6:50pm that day, after a group there insisted on playing drums during Thaipusam, which was a natural thing to do during a ritual procession.

A law enforcement analyst said this incident clearly shows a failure of legislation to deal with the drinking problem in Singapore, that looks likely to spread island-wide as alcohol consumption is increasingly getting pushed underground.

Leah Pai Lang, a man who was drinking beer at the coffee shop, said: “The government has failed the citizenry again by not doing enough to stop people from drinking. These arrests clearly shows that there has been a complete failure to use a bigger sledgehammer to kill a fly.”

These arrests has come under the intense spotlight as they follow hot on the heels of legislation that had just been passed in parliament last week to ban the public consumption of alcohol after 10.30pm.

However, other Singaporeans had different interpretations of the arrests.

One local, Jiang Dao Li, said the arrests wouldn’t have happened if other factors were factored in: “The three men who were arrested wouldn’t have clashed with the police if the police weren’t there.”

Another local, Jiang Zhen De, concurred: “If there was no police, then there wouldn’t have been anyone to arrest the three men.”

“And then there wouldn’t have been any news of anyone smelling like alcohol.”

 

Singapore bans drinking and eating in public at night:

S’pore to ban eating in public after banning alcohol consumption in public after 10.30pm

Alcohol failed to cause riot at Clark Quay the past year since Little India riot occurred

Foreign workers rioted because they were feeling okay

 

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S’pore to ban eating in public after banning alcohol consumption in public after 10.30pm

S’pore to ban eating in public after banning alcohol consumption in public after 10.30pm

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Travelling in public and making love at night will also be banned soon.

drunk-clark-quay

In a bid to become a vibrant metropolis and the top city in the world, Singapore is banning the public consumption of alcohol after 10.30pm once the Liquor Control Bill is passed in parliament.

This means that no one is allowed to be seen drinking or holding alcohol in public after 10.30pm. Violators will be shot on sight and survivors will be shot repeatedly.

The ban on the public consumption of alcohol after 10.30pm will also mark the start of a series of prohibitions to follow: Once alcohol has been successfully banned in public at night, eating and travelling in public after 10.30pm will also be banned.

A government spokesperson, Lim Kah Tor, said: “Anything can be considered a vice these days. If you eat in public after 10.30pm, you will grow fat because your metabolism slows down at night.”

“And when you grow fat, you will block people’s way when you go out. For example, you can keep left on the escalator, but it looks like you are still keeping right.”

“This will cause tempers to flare and people will get annoyed, fight and a full scale racial riot will break out like in the 1960s. Plus, with alcohol, things will get worse.”

“So, to prevent such catastrophes, we need to monitor the situation and then stop people from eating and travelling at night after 10.30pm and impose martial law and curfews and wind down public transportation services before dark.”

Locals who heard of the new proposed measures said they are heartened that their lives will be made better and more interesting as a result.

One local, Pah Kah Luan, said: “No wonder people in Singapore more likely to riot these days.”

 

Alcohol is the cause of all problems in Singapore:

Alcohol failed to cause riot at Clark Quay the past year since Little India riot occurred

Foreign workers rioted because they were feeling okay

Cigarettes, alcohol completely sold out as S’pore announces plan to increase taxes from today

 

 

 

 

 





Alcohol failed to cause riot at Clark Quay the past year since Little India riot occurred

Alcohol failed to cause riot at Clark Quay the past year since Little India riot occurred

Tags: , ,


Authorities not sure what went right.

clark-quay-drunks

Authorities grappling for answers as to why the Little India riot occurred last December were left even more puzzled as watering hole Clark Quay did not experience a similar incident the past year.

This despite having all the elements there at one place to start the most proper and epic riot.

An official spokesperson, Qu Da Jia, said: “All the contributing factors present in Little India last December were similarly available in Clark Quay throughout the year: People, alcohol and dustbins for tossing.”

“But nothing happened.”

Singaporeans from all walks of life have also expressed their amazement that Clark Quay was not ground zero given that there are more drunks there and alcohol is way overpriced.

Qu Pia Zui, a local said: “A bottle of beer for $12? I’m surprised no one has started a fight over that yet.”

However, the lack of riots at Clark Quay has been shown to be a result of expensive alcohol possessing certain anti-rioting elements.

A Singaporean scientist, Dr Lim Kar Tor had discovered earlier in March this year that the two main anti-rioting properties present in expensive alcohol are called “wealth” and “opportunity”, which make a difference in the reactions of drinkers.

Dr Lim explained then: “You can find these properties called ‘wealth’ and ‘opportunity’ only in expensive alcohol. Once you’ve consumed enough of it, you wouldn’t be upset with your lot in life.”

 

Alcohol-related news in Singapore:

S’pore jittery as foreign workers continue to feel okay, signalling another riot might break out

S’pore researcher discovers expensive alcohol contains crucial anti-rioting properties

Team S’pore athletes reminded they must never drink, have sex ever again

Cigarettes, alcohol completely sold out as S’pore announces plan to increase taxes from today

S’pore clubs run out of cups and then unintentional porn

 

 

 

 

 











S’pore researcher discovers expensive alcohol contains crucial anti-rioting properties

S’pore researcher discovers expensive alcohol contains crucial anti-rioting properties

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Different kinds of alcohol likely to cause different types of reaction.

Top photo stolen from here

Top photo stolen from here

A top Singapore researcher has made a startling discovery yesterday.

He found that expensive alcohol and cheap alcohol consist of different chemical properties, which will lead to drinkers behaving differently.

Head researcher, Dr Lim Kar Tor, said rich people drink a different kind of alcohol from poor people, and as a result, the type of alcohol determines behaviour: “Rich people drink expensive alcohol that contains crucial anti-rioting properties, while poor people drink cheap alcohol that causes them to run riot.”

When asked to name the anti-rioting properties, Dr Lim elaborated that it is actually two substances called “wealth” and “opportunity” found only in expensive alcohol, which makes a difference in the reactions of drinkers: “You can find these properties called ‘wealth’ and ‘opportunity’ only in expensive alcohol. Once you’ve consumed enough of it, you wouldn’t be upset with your lot in life.”

“However, even if you are upset about your lot in life, ‘wealth’ and ‘opportunity’ will enable you to cry about your situation on a yacht or in a car with a pretty girl on your lap, which will help make things better, faster.”

“Therefore, cheap alcohol without ‘wealth’ and ‘opportunity’ inside, will cause rioting.”

Alcohol becoming more expensive only makes them tastier, alcoholics claim

Alcohol becoming more expensive only makes them tastier, alcoholics claim

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“I will have to sell my children off. The blood shall be on the government’s hands.”

beer-singapore

Alcoholics and chain smokers from all walks of life in Singapore are saying that the higher taxes levied on their favourite vice will not deter them from indulging in them even more, as they get increasingly expensive to do so.

Instead, the higher costs of cigarettes and alcohol only serve to make them taste better and more precious.

One alcoholic, Lai Yam Seng, said in between hiccups: “I think the beer will taste better now that it is more expensive. Like sharks’ fin and abalone.”

“And to raise the money to feed my binge drinking, I will have to sell my children off. The blood shall be on the government’s hands.”

Cigarette smokers interviewed said they will smoke even more now given that prices are most likely to get raised again some time soon.

Cigarettes, alcohol completely sold out as S’pore announces plan to increase taxes from today

Cigarettes, alcohol completely sold out as S’pore announces plan to increase taxes from today

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Consumers snatch alcohol and cigarettes from shelves as it is every man for himself.

fairprice

All cigarettes and alcohol are completely sold out island-wide in Singapore.

Major supermarkets and mama shops have put up notices saying there are no stock left.

This after Deputy Prime Minister and Finance Minister Tharman Shanmugaratnam delivered the Budget statement 2014 at 3.30pm in Parliament today.

He said taxes for cigarettes, and other manufactured tobacco products, will go up by 10 per cent, and liquor duties will be raised by 25 percent.

One Singaporean, Lim Kah Tor, said: “Tonight I will drink and smoke until don’t recognise house.”

 

After your dose of cigarettes and alcohol, now read about some sex:
SAFRA releases new gym ad targeting men, undoes sexism of previous ad

Have you heard about the plan to make Singapore a smoke-free island?
S’pore to become smoke-free island by 2015

S’poreans fear police enhanced powers to strip search will attract exhibitionists to Little India

S’poreans fear police enhanced powers to strip search will attract exhibitionists to Little India

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The fear of an exposed rear is real.

little-india-usual

Singaporeans from all walks of life in varying states of undress are cowering in fear.

This after it was announced that the Singapore police has been given the go-ahead to strip search any person suspected of carrying alcohol within the vicinity of Little India.

One frightened Singaporean, Jin Kia See, said: “Later what if got exhibitionists purposely hide a bottle of alcohol in their backside and taunt the police to strip search him?”

“Then wouldn’t Little India attract all the exhibitionists who want other people to see them never wear clothes?”

Other locals interviewed said there are other reasons why it is untenable to strip search people these days.

Boh Cheng Sah, a local, said: “What if they strip already they aroused, how?”

“Then wouldn’t there be sexual corruption?”

Foreign workers concerned they only have rest of S’pore outside Little India to drink publicly

Foreign workers concerned they only have rest of S’pore outside Little India to drink publicly

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Plenty of non-prohibited areas to go to making them worry they have too many places to drink in.

little-india-alcohol-ban

Foreign workers from South Asia are furrowing their brows and looking concerned.

This after the latest rules to prohibit drinking in public in the Little India area has kicked in.

And this is making them worried as they only have the rest of Singapore to drink in.

One foreign worker, who wanted to be known as Not The Little India Hero, said: “Now that drinking in public is prohibited in Little India, I am worried I only have Chinatown, Boon Keng, Jurong, West Coast, East Coast, Orchard, Clark Quay, City Hall, Raffles Place, Outram and many other places to drink in.”

“I am worried I will run out of money before I run out of places to drink publicly.”

Alcohol ban causes Little India to feel the same as every weekend

Alcohol ban causes Little India to feel the same as every weekend

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Little India feels bustling and riot-free like always.

little-india

As part of a series of knee-jerk measures to prevent another riot from happening, a complete ban on alcohol was put in place in Little India this weekend by the authorities.

And the effects of the alcohol ban on Little India was acutely felt on Saturday yesterday, the first day of the prohibition.

Little India, according to everyone who was there, felt just like every weekend — bustling and without trouble.

One Singaporean, Kee Pia Zhui, said: “With no alcohol in Little India this Saturday, the mood is exactly like how Little India always felt. Riot-free and everyone out and about.”

This sentiment was shared by foreign workers who were there.

One foreign worker, who was wearing a checked shirt but is Not The Little India Riot Hero, said: “You can take away our alcohol and our shuttle buses, but Little India will always be Little India.”

“More edgy than Chinatown, less sleazy than Geylang.”

“And always riot-free, except for one day.”

Singapore football debauchery?

Singapore football debauchery?

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Nope, sorry, but the Singapore team is doing pretty well for a bunch of people who drink and smoke.

By New Nation Sports Guru

Singapore CubsXII. Meow.

It has been made public by LionsXII assistant coach Kadir Yahaya that there is a drinking and smoking culture in Singapore football.

As with all things that involve morals, many people with an upright disposition will say that sports, alcohol and cigarettes don’t mix.

But to others who don’t bother to take this upright course – because upright usually means boring and dull, they would say: Well, at least sports, alcohol and cigarettes should not mix at the same time.

Because doing sports, alcohol and cigarettes all at the same time would in fact be called “clubbing”.

But, I mean, is this even considered news?

Many people, with judgemental tendencies, automatically assume that this is a sign that something is wrong with the sporting culture of our nation if sportsmen drink and smoke.

For me, I’ll defend our national team and say to critics, “Get lost”.

Drinking and smoking is what real men do.

In fact, drinking and smoking is what differentiates humans from animals.

Go on, name me a squirrel who smokes?

And I dare you, name me a fish that drinks vodka or bourbon?

Because only through drinking and smoking can real men feel like they have aged properly.

But let’s not argue over ideas.

Let’s talk pure statistics.

Look at the LionsXII’s results in the Malaysia super league: They have so far won two games, lost twice and drawn two others. And they have scored a grand total of 5 goals in six matches and this is a testimony of their unbreakable spirit and smokers’ lungs and drinkers’ liver.

And who did the Singapore team actually managed to beat?

Sabah and Kuala Lumpur.

Two teams who have players who go to bed at 9 p.m. and who eat their vegetables and whose only encounter with alcohol is in cologne.

Therefore, for smokers and drinkers, scoring five goals is already six goals too many.

But there is a much larger discussion that needs to be addressed.

And that is: Football doesn’t add to our country’s economy.

Eleven grown men from one team chasing a ball for 90 minutes against 11 grown men from another team is nothing different from 22 grown men chasing each other to give each other wedgies.

Both activities are just as pointless, sweaty and tiring.

But don’t get me wrong. I’m not here to boo boo soccer per se.

I believe soccer is as pointless as swimming where the main aim is to hold one’s breath and try to go forward while moving one’s arms and legs to see who can go faster until you touch the wall again.

How should this be considered an achievement in life? Let alone an achievement for our human race? And seriously, when I say “human race”, pardon the pun.

Come on, do you seriously see chickens trying to swim faster than one another just so the winner gets to collect a trophy?

Or do you see chipmunks getting wet to be triumphant aquatically?

If animals are not so pointless, why are we?

A greater achievement in life, I believe, is developing the ability to actually breathe underwater naturally.

At that instant, it can be assured that mankind has broken the plateau of our evolutionary heritage and broached new ground with growing something called “gills”.

That would then be considered exciting times.

And news worthy.

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