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Highly religious S’poreans boycott Nyonya kueh lapis as it is gay

Posted on 09 May 2017

Too colourful.

nyonya-kueh-lapis

Highly religious Singaporeans from that particular walk of life, who like to mind other people’s business, are staging a boycott of Nyonya kueh lapis.

This after they realised the nine-coloured snack is too colouful, meaning it is gay.

One highly religious Singaporean, Tong Xing Lian, said: “Rainbow designs have been the LGBT movement’s insidious and hidden method of converting all Singaporeans to homosexuality and can certainly be blamed for Singapore’s falling birth rates.”

“For so long the Nyonya kueh lapis has hidden in plain sight by passing on subversive values with each taste.”

Other highly religious Singaporeans said it best to start eating foods that are white, such as white bread and white meat, to ensure virginal purity.

Another highly religious Singaporean, Qu Jiao Tang, said: “When it is white there are no hidden elements of gay.”

At press time, a crisis has broken out as highly religious Singaporeans realised white light breaks down into the seven constituent colours of the rainbow when passed through a prism.

 

 

 

 

 

 





This post was written by:

- who has written 2582 posts on New Nation.

Wang Pei can be considered a new citizen of Singapore. She has been here all her life, just that her environment's changed beyond recognition.

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  • Shoba Devarajan

    So if light is refracted through droplets of water in the sky, then the beautiful 7-coloured arc is gay. But god made the rainbow as some sort of symbol of hope or promise. Does this mean ………

  • http://nikkytae.deviantart.com Nikky Tae

    its still part of our culture and it was never intended for the meaning of it being gay. dont put your ideals into part of this.

    • Angora Cat

      this is a satirical site.. don’t take it too seriously.. just have a laugh and move on. xd

  • chococandyz

    when you see people who took this piece of news way too seriously… (hello pls look at the newnation logo and read it hahhahaaha) but really if there are really people like this, oh well, more kueh lapis for the open-minded people~

  • Zul Qarnain

    Dude, this guy is right. One day, me and my friends were hungry so we bought some Kueh Lapis. Just looking at it, we just had this unbelievable urge for gay sex with each other. Till this day, I’m slurping on that Gentleman’s sausage left and right.

  • Chris Frankland

    Might I suggest kueh for straits born?

  • SB Zhang

    Dont you think its so silly, you mean after eating that you or your child will turn gay!!! Please also check the dictionary Gay means HAPPY so i guess you cant be happy as you take THE Kuey colors as being gay!!! How about The white Colors its consist of 7 rainbow colors so how White also cant be use right!!! What a joke….

    • LePotatoeJugl

      How do you not understand this is a satirical site?

  • Lach Madsen

    Noah was gay then?

  • Tel L

    Guys, this is a fake news. If you are chinese, read the name of the 2 persons carefully. The first guy name translate as “Homosexual” and the second one is “go to church”. It is a a fake and prank news. Face palm to those who took it seriously.

  • The Crazy Old Wizard

    Dafuq is wrong with people this days

    • Dante Ting

      You must be new here.
      http://newnation.sg/about/
      “NewNation.sg is quite obviously, the most dysfunctional, satire site in Singapore. (If you click around, some of the links are broken.)”

  • Muhd Hanif

    What a joke

    • FeisalK

      er, yes it is.

  • Merlyn Low

    What makes these people think that they are above us spiritually? The fact that they discriminate of all things colours which is Gay is Stupidity at the utmost! So a Rainbow is GAY! Then they better hide when a Rainbow comes out after the rain. Does Our Creator discriminates? How about different coloured flowers….

  • Merlyn Low

    I am not against Gay people…my belief is to show Compassion. I believe in Karma… it’s their wrong doings of Past lives…and we can just ignore them, show Compassion and not ridicule. Read your Religious books 1000 times…

  • Garrett Kam

    So boycott the rainbow in the sky that your god sent as a sign of promise and hope, or better yet, just give up what you think is religion. Yes, eat all the white bread and white rice as you like so that you suffer from bowel disease and colon cancer. The less of your kind, the better.

  • Sarong Party Guy

    > white meat

    i see what u did there

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