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Highly conservative S’poreans: Failure to finish inside female panda proves male panda Kai Kai is gay

Posted on 23 September 2015

Female panda Jia Jia not pregnant.


Highly conservative Singaporeans who followed the news closely about two panda bears having sex in the Singapore Zoo in April 2015 were aghast to learn that the male panda Kai Kai had failed to fully consummate the union by not finishing inside of the female panda, Jia Jia.

This resulted in speculation that he could be gay and the zoo doctors had to carry out an operation to artificially finish inside the female panda instead.

Now it has been revealed that the female panda is not pregnant after all these months.

One conservative religious Singaporean, Xing Ye Shu, said: “I am disturbed by the fact that we allow such things to happen in Singapore. A failure to finish inside a female is a sure sign of homosexuality because a reluctance to procreate is an immediate failure of heterosexuality.”

“I demand that the Singapore Zoo investigate if there are any more homosexual animals in their midst and flush them out.”

Another conservative religious Singaporean, Tong Xing Lian, said the pandas’ endangered species status is brought about by their own doing: “Homosexuality must have been rampant in the panda species. That’s why their reproductive rate is so low and their eventual decline is their own fault.”

“If they stopped being so gay they would reproduce more.”

At press time, conservative religious Singaporeans who have started their own investigations said that all species of animals are failing to show the proper traditional family unit of one father, one mother and two children, therefore, the Singapore Zoo is complicit in promoting immoral behaviour and activities, besides homosexuality, and is a bad example for families here.






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Wang Pei can be considered a new citizen of Singapore. She has been here all her life, just that her environment's changed beyond recognition.

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