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S’pore’s censorship board ex-staff confess: ‘We turned gay after repeatedly reviewing R21 content’

Posted on 26 May 2015

Effects of a mere one-month exposure to banned content has prolonged life-long effects.


Saying that they are no longer the same person, ex-employees from Singapore’s censorship board have come out to explain how they are coping with their new gay selves, which they attribute to their past where they had to constantly view unrated material as part of the job as censors who judged if the content they viewed was fit for public consumption.

This unbridled consumption of potentially R21 content was a job requirement that was knowingly accepted within the industry but they did not expect the psycho-physiological changes to be so profound, which eventually led to mass resignations and renewed hiring by the censorship board once every few months as staff turned irreversibly gay through constant exposure.

Zhen Kai Xing, an ex-staff of the local censors, admitted: “The attrition rate is unusually high at the censorship board. A lot of employees arrive shy and reserved, just like any other civil servant on the first day, but within two weeks, you can tell they are thoroughly affected by the repeated viewing of R21 content, many of which are eye-opening.”

“It is common to witness their mentality and outward appearance completely change within just the first week. A lot of them look like they lose control of their baser instincts, as they start to dress more flamboyantly, become more outgoing, prone to chattiness and walk around with a new sense of confidence, like as if their eyes have been opened to new realities.”

“And then soon a lot of them would quit and move on to other fields within three months, but not before losing most of their past inhibitions, having watched one too many consciousness-raising movies and listening to one too many gay songs, such as Jolin Tsai’s We’re All Different, Yet The Same.”

“A lot of these ex-employees at the censors go on to work at the Singapore Tourism Board, fashion industry and private banking, where their new disposition to being worldly and embracing of openness is overlooked.”

“It is obvious they became happier, which explains why they are gay.”

At press time, the censorship board is organising a fresh round of interviews looking for new candidates for the job to make them happy and well-adjusted individuals, by exposing them to the full spectrum of human emotions and creativity through works of music and film, before unleashing them into other parts of society.


More vacancies available:

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Wang Pei can be considered a new citizen of Singapore. She has been here all her life, just that her environment's changed beyond recognition.

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