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Apple CEO confesses he’s gay, causes crisis in FCBC and FotF as many members are iPhone users

Posted on 31 October 2014

Lawrence Khong to stop using iPhone and even denounce technology altogether.

tim-cook-steve-jobs

A major crisis has broken out at FCBC and FotF, two pro-nuclear family organisations in Singapore.

This after it was revealed that Apple’s CEO Tim Cook is gay. The confession was made public on Bloomberg on Oct. 30, 2014.

This has caused members in FCBC and FotF in Singapore who are iPhone users to come to the realisation that they have been secretly financing the gay lifestyle of Apple’s CEO as they have been buying his company’s products, such as the popular iPhone 5 and 6 and Apple tablets.

Some 70 percent of smartphone users in Singapore uses an Apple iPhone.

Yeshu Aini, a local religious person, said: “My entire life is in disarray. I have all along been an Apple fan and bought the iPhone 5 and 6 that were developed under Tim Cook’s charge. Therefore, I have been directly contributing to sin by financing it and this has allowed homosexuality to thrive.”

“No wonder this latest 5.5-inch iPhone 6 feels so good in my hands. It is because this is the average length of the male anatomy.”

The confession by the head of Apple has also caused others to be extra wary as the international scope of deception could also signal that the CEOs of Samsung, Xiaomi and LG are all also secretly gay and waiting for the right time to unveil their deception.

Local magician Lawrence Khong is expected to take to the pulpit on Sunday to encourage his flock to switch to using pay phones from now on, or even better, denounce technology altogether as a whole to be Satan’s work.

 

Here are all the gay articles on New Nation:

Conservative S’poreans demand S’pore Zoo investigate if they possess gay animals

Reader is troubled by the state of sex education in Singapore

Wear White campaign organiser realises white is made out of gay colours

Colourful MRT lines show that public transport is gay: Reader

Abercrombie & Fitch promoting homosexuality, exhibitionism in Singapore

6 rainbow buildings in S’pore that have stood up for gay rights

NDP 2014 to remove all LGBT elements from performance celebration

Letter writer: Ban Adam Lambert from performing

Respect to Pastor Lawrence Khong for casting adulteress aside

More S’poreans considering taking up homosexuality to advance investment banking career

A-Mei’s Rainbow song can spread homosexuality, S’pore authorities warn

Reader forgives government for maligning City Harvest Church

Several gay men turn straight at the sight of Serina Wee

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



This post was written by:

- who has written 2685 posts on New Nation.

Wang Pei can be considered a new citizen of Singapore. She has been here all her life, just that her environment's changed beyond recognition.

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  • Ryan

    Nonsense. The writer think too much lah. 5.5 inch phone and 5.5 inch male anatomy got link meh.

    • Tristana

      You think, lei?

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  • Renee

    Lol. I don’t understand why are they homophobia.. Hey,if it is sin,don’t buy any phones in singapore la. Don’t earn money. Because money itself is a sin. It brings sins to life.

    Even I’m a Christian,I will also not treat homos the way you treat them. They are humans too.with feelings, they too will get hurt. Do you even know what are human? Humans are of flesh and blood. They too, sin.

    Bible stated that Jesus said if any of you did not sin,throw the first stone at the sinner.

    May I ask you? Have you sin? If you never sin before, please throw the first stone.

    • SpardaCastle

      Doesn’t the name Yeshu Aini (Jesus love you in Chnese) or the sentence: “No wonder this latest 5.5-inch iPhone 6 feels so good in my hands. It is because this is the average length of the male anatomy.” give away that this article is a satire?

  • OMG

    what a load of rubbish…. don’t wear any thing then, as most clothing, dresses, handbags even bras and underwear and a whole world of household items, even your local produce are produced by LGBT in one way or another. Doesn’t all religion preaches love to all regardless? Such ignorance and discriminatory remarks are despicable.

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  • Vincent Quek

    Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!

  • Tony

    This is ridiculous, who cares if he’s gay

  • xiang

    I’m usually tickled by new nation’s articles. But this is a low blow. Satire should be use as a response to issues. Its almost as if the author is using this as a chance just to make a particular organisation embarrassed or to put down this organisation. I dont see the link here.

    • kucinta

      Well FCBC is an issue, a major one that is detrimental to our society.

    • Tristana

      This is actually one of newnation’s best satire pieces. I’m sorry you can’t appreciate it.

    • TN

      they deserve to be put down / embarrased

    • Chris Cheong

      Yeah FCBC itself should be put down, they play a part in starting a ‘hate’ FB page, with seriously extremist behaviour against homosexuals, just because they are different. Their Pastor Preach abt SINS and what not… yet he does magic shows, which in the bible is ALSO forbidden! Hypocrite at its best and yet their church members can blindly curse out on homosexuals and proudly bless their pastor on his forbidden magic show is DISGUSTING. They worship a whole different ‘god’ the one that is banished.

    • John Luo

      I don’t think Lawrence Khong, or by extension his church, needs such an article to make them “embarrassed”. He’s such a joke already.

    • Godisgood

      I agree with you xiang! may God bless you! :)

  • hereforthelaughs

    one day people will realise that this website is satirical… do Singaporeans know what satire is? this is hilarious. And yes it does put down a particular organisation.. and rightfully so.. It takes a satirical swipe at some organisations mad twisting’s and obsessions towards the day to day lives of people they dont know and that quite frankly has nothing to do with them… long live satire and the ability to laugh.. im just wondering if the new iphone 6 + is based on a gay mans love for bigger manhood… maybe the iphone 6 ++ will be slightly thicker… (see how i did that.. yes its called humour…)

    • SpardaCastle

      Sadly, our fellow Singaporeans are too serious.

  • Anon

    What pay phone? Christians are highly evolved species. They can communicate with the spirits. Since they too are spirit, they can now hone their god given senses and talk to each other in spirit and in truth.

    No need to pay telco. No need to charge. No need to waste money on accessories. No burden to carry it with you. No distance restriction. Even when you are dead, you can still communicate with fellow worshippers who are not dead yet

    Cheaper(free), better and faster!

    • soren

      It’s got nothing to do with her being a Christian, but her pure narcissism. I’m a Catholic and I’m gay.

    • whathehell

      Mind what you say anon. Have some respect to other people’s religion!

  • Andromeda Godit

    Guys! Apple has long supported the GBLT movement a long time ago! And there’s the stories of workers in Foxconn who suffered hand muscle and nerve degeneration illnesses when the factory used unknown cheap industrial alcohol for them to clean the phones…? Suicides at the plant? My Christian friends wanted an iphone initially, but after hearing Apple’s direction in supporting GBLT, they went over to android…

    • Helloooo

      Some went over to android. You can’t speak for the pragmatic majority of Christians who are as worldly as non Christians in many ways. Seriously, if Christians want to show us they arent hypocrites and would go all the way for Christ, they should take up the cross and be crucified by Caesar.

      • Han

        Android is owned by Google, which is a primary sponsor of Pinkdot in Singapore lol.

        • John Luo

          Noooo, what other phone can they use now? Windows? Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer both donated 6 figures for gay marriage, even the new CEO Satya Nadella was inspired by Tim’s public annoucement.

  • charles

    LOL. This is a good piece. Almost wished it is true. Hehe

  • dd

    dear writer, without artistic concepts from GAYS, this world will be so empty.
    Don’t such be a homophobic. this is 2014. wake up and smell the coffee!

    every design thing u see, most of them are probably concept-ed by gay people.

    You think gay make sins, normal people don’t? Put a big mirror in front your face, then answer.

    BTW, thanks for bringing up this homophobic article, to show how shallow you are as an international writer. Narrow minded.

    For that Yeshu Aini, a local religious person (SHE SAID); you might wanna try cucumber or eggplant to play. don’t play with iphone. i know it can vibrate yes?

    • New Nation

      Yes, I am shallow international writer. I will convey your cucumber or eggplant to Yeshu Aini. Thank you very much.

      • cheese pie

        Bastard lah Wang Pei. Go shove a cucumber up your …shirt

  • Str8

    FCBC and FotF are bigots. And I’m saying this as a heterosexual.

  • Farhad Faiz

    Hello Singapore, If secretly financing homosexual lifestyle is sack-religious for you, then stop buying designer brand clothes, shoes and accessories where 95% of the owners are homosexuals.. can you do that?

    • Chris Cheong

      You should go to this FB page ‘we are against pink dot SG’ and free their entire post, from boycotting google, BK, starbucks, etc. They also post really ridiculous articles about homosexuals abuse which also happen in heterosexual and most of the time more often than homosexuals. Take a pop corn and enjoy the reading.

  • Moon Ho

    That’s why I say there is a homo agenda for iphone. I beseech all brothers of the faith to not hold or touch another man’s 5.5-inch iphone because this is a sin!

  • Chelo Pablo-Norico

    You do realize that this is a satire article do you? Bazinga is a term coined to mean “Gotcha!” ^_^

  • Bernard

    Nothing wrong with gay they are still human right?

  • stupidassarticle!

    This is in done in extremely poor taste!

  • hungryforfunny

    hahahaha the article is hilarious, but the comments are even more so

  • disgustedreader

    stupid and lame article which is so clearly untrue. please stop wasting your time and talent doing pointless things like this. you might as well write proper articles and reporting facts. And show some respect for people’s religion.

    • smartreader

      the logo above every page of this website already states 50% real news, meaning its not 100% real, why are you so stupid and lame not to see that? this is clearly satire. respect has to be earned, and if you do your research FCBC does not deserve any respect esp lawrence khong ba pao

    • Gabriel Chua

      Yes stop offending religion. LGBT deserves to be offended because they are sinners. The same goes to other perverts who have sex out of lust instead of trying to make babies as Natural and God dictates. And the narcissistic seed-spilling wankers who engage in unnatural self-masturbating sexual acts. And adulterers too who break their vows to God and remarry. They should be jailed else families will be destroyed.

  • californiaflip

    “5.5-inch” “this is the average length of the male anatomy.” Isn’t that kind of small? the average is 6++

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  • Gabriel Chua

    One should especially not forget the masturbators and the wicked who engage in other forms of lustful unnatural seedspilling acts that is not intended for procreation. They are sick and should be punished. Singapore should not be allowed to devolved into the next Sodom. No matter how good Singapore defense is, and how many NSF there are, no man can defend against the wrath and awesomeness of our mighty GOD. This is about our country’s security!

    Singapore will never tolerate gays and perverted self-masturbators.

    Singapore have family values.

    Singapore is the greatest country in the world because it has great leaders, who understand that the rights of the majority is more important than the minority. We are a conservative society that will never accept LGBT lifestyle else they will turn all our children into LGBT and God will punish Singapore for it. The government should not interfere with the opinion of the majority, and it is our right as a conservative to discriminate and refuse to hire, or to serve LGBT people. Gay people can hide their gayness, but the chao ah guas in the “T” of LGBT is obvious, and they deserve to be kicked out of their home by their family and disowned and fired from their jobs until they repent. This is Singapore, cannot anyhow you know? Bue Sai!!! Else society will collapse.

    We should also punish the seed spilling wankers who practice perverted mono-sexual behavior, and keep them away from innocent children. promiscuous HIV spreading straight and gay people who engage in sex with more than one partners, leading promiscuous lifestyle choices should also be punished by the law. And those who divorce and commit adultery by remarrying too. But monosexualism seedspilling lifestyle of wankers is a greater sin and threat to the family and children. Porn is an evil perversion. We should stop spreading such deviant lifestyle choice of wankers and their perverted lifestyle choice of watching porn and engaging in self-pleasuring. Our society have no place for these seed-spilling narccistic monosexual wankers. The bible say that monosexualism is a sin, and seed-spillers should be strike by lightning. recall the story of Onan the seedspiller?

    Wanking and perverts who watch porn should be a crime for unnatural sexual act of perversion and be sent to 3 years jail minimum. God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and his own hand! If I ever find that my child engage in unnatural monosexual acts, I will immediate disown him and kick him out of my home to become homeless. Monosexual and homosexual destroy family.

    Say no to LGBTM!!!! Wear white on pink dot day to symbolize clean bedsheets.

    God made Adam and Eve so that they can procreate. That is what sex is meant for. God did not design Adam’s hand nor his p**** for having monosexual sexual relationship with one another. A child deserve a father and a mother, not a father and his own hand! Sex for pleasure is a deviant act of seed-spilling perversion if it isn’t done with the intent to make babies. God ordered to mankind to be fruitful, not to spill seed in condoms or on the floor to be discarded like waste. That is an abomination that our conservative society should not tolerate!

    Religion cannot be offended, otherwise there will be riot. For if people openly support LGBT, or straight masturbators and people who divorce and commit adultery acts, then it will offend religious people. Buei sai.. like that will becoem chaotic and singapore will collapse understand?

  • Alwyn Chan

    lol… if any FCBCian wants to dump their i-phone.. I will be more than happy to give the abandoned phones a good home…