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10 things you should never do when the S’pore Police shows up at your door

Posted on 13 October 2014

Here are some of the no-nos in general.


You might have read recently that the Singapore police allegedly went around in the night to personally deliver notice letters asking some individuals to assist in investigations relating to the Return Our CPF protest at Hong Lim Park on Sept. 27, 2014.

This caused quite a bit of a hoo-ha because police should be out catching thieves instead of doing DHL services.

As a result, some have even gone through all the bother to come up with a list of things one should do in preparation if the Singapore police does show up at your doorstep one fine evening.

But that’s just assuming you have enough common sense to react calmly in the face of the police, especially when your mother is crying hysterically and your father has collapsed on the floor as he is now certain there is a criminal in the family tree.


Therefore, here is a list of 10 things one should never, ever do when the police shows up at your door unannounced:

1. Try to grab their revolver.

2. Open the door, close the door slowly, turn off the lights, squat down and pretend no one’s home.

3. Admit you were an accomplice in that case in Singapore last time where the ang moh guy killed another guy and dismembered him.

4. Say, “This is Minority Report, right? You’re arresting me for a crime that I will commit in the future?”

5. Say, “I didn’t call for strippers.”

6. Ask, “Eh McDonald’s delivery change uniform?”

7. Take out your student concession pass and shout: “CID! CID! I also CID!”

8. Call the police: “Hello? Police? Got police harassing me. Come quick.”

9. Ask, “Is this how I appear on Crime Watch?”

10. Push the gate open. And make a run for it.


Other listicles that are numbered:

5 real reasons why more S’porean couples get divorced within 5 years of marriage

7 signs God is going to destroy JEM mall in Jurong East by end of 2014

6 rainbow buildings in S’pore that have stood up for gay rights






This post was written by:

- who has written 2685 posts on New Nation.

Wang Pei can be considered a new citizen of Singapore. She has been here all her life, just that her environment's changed beyond recognition.

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  • sghunter

    haha! so funny sia! yea as if, grow up kid

    • Guest.

      Kid, have a good read up on ‘satire’.

  • Eddie

    I like this post. It’s hilarious!

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