And he’s also not planning to get married or have children anytime soon

For the tenth year in a row, Ah Boy has had to inform his grandparents and extended family that he has finished his military service, graduated from university and found an office job in an air-conditional locality. Thankfully, the annual battle to ingrain these basic facts of his life into the memory of his relatives has appeared to hit a standstill.

“I’m so sick of answering the same questions that I’ve been on autopilot since last year,” said Na Hong Bao, who partakes in the annual reunion dinner with his parents because he loves his family. “Same questions, same answers, different year. Once you come to terms with the meaninglessness of it all, you stop being bothered by it.”

The first day the Horse year has also seen a sudden uptick in the general frustration among young adults who have not married, bought a house and spawned.

“This year I decided to grow a moustache to deflect all the questions about why I’m not married,” said Jiak Ba Kwa, who has not brought back any of her boyfriends to seek approval from her family. This is because none of her exes work in the CBD, drive a car and will be able to provide for her and her future 2.4 children. This is also partly because she does not know how to sew, keep a clean house, prepare steamed pomfret and change diapers.

But actually its because she likes women.

“33 and not married is a source of shame meh? What century already nia…” she complained.

A laughing horse.