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Indie music Laneway Festival 2014 deemed a failure after massive crowd attended

Posted on 26 January 2014

Hipster festival deemed not hipster enough as a result.

Photo stolen from here

Photo stolen from here

Hipsters from all walks of life — mainly baristas and freelance designers — are pulling an even longer face and taking a longer drag on their cigarettes as they shake their heads in disapproval.

This after several thousand people were in attendance at this year’s St Jerome’s Laneway Festival on Jan. 25 held at The Meadow, Gardens By The Bay.

The thousands in attendance caused the indie hipster mood to sour as hipsters were expecting less than 100 non-mainstream people to show up.

One hipster, who wants to be know as Theodore XXGentrifiedYY Lim, said: “This year’s Laneway concert is an epic failure. There was just too many people. A hipster concert is only hipster if no one attends.”

“I did not pay hundreds of dollars to go to a festival that will attract so many other people. What is this? Metallica? That is so mainstream.”

Other hipsters said the indie spirit died the moment they saw Vance Joy scheduled to play as he alone already has about 1,000 fans worldwide.

Susan XOXO Capricious Tan, another concert-goer, said: “The organisers are to blame. They ought to know that an indie festival should at most cater to 30 fans. Artists like Vance Joy is too well-known already. Why is he even featured?”

For next year’s concert, hipsters hope the organiser will do a better job by encapsulating the indie hipster spirit.

They propose bringing in bands such as Catmangler and Thunderbolt Claptrap, two bands which are not mainstream at all as they have not even been formed yet.

This post was written by:

- who has written 2685 posts on New Nation.

Wang Pei can be considered a new citizen of Singapore. She has been here all her life, just that her environment's changed beyond recognition.

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  • pissedoffmofo

    Bands are not doing what they do to make little money from the ”underground” fanbase these hipsters have. These bands play music for a living. Their cost of living comes from playing shows. If the shows can’t even cover the cost of their rent, there’s no point in doing what they do. These hipsters need to cut out with their narrow mindset and think of everyone else involved here. 30 people is not the size of a festival show. That’s the size of a basement gig. Every band wants a huge fanbase, no matter what genre they play. Want a small turnout when these bands play? Hire them to play in your bedroom for crying out loud. The organizers are not to blame here

    • Terrance

      obviously have not heard of newnation before haha

      • New Nation

        obviously he is a real hipster because new nation is too mainstream

        • maisur

          Don’t they even understand what satire means ?

    • chillpillhipster

      Yes, hipsters are sensitive.

    • Capitalism to the rescue


    • AnnoyedAngmoh

      So true! These bands need to make more money so that the masses can truly appreciate True Indie Music. They need to monetise any opportunity they can get. Should learn a thing or two from artists like Lady Gaga or One Direction.

  • toomuchbullshit

    hahahha!! stupid. it’s called laneway music FESTIVAL not an underground gig for a reason. what 30 people. you want 30 people or less than 100 then dont fucking advertise it that big and keep it within your stupid community. you said it yourself you knew beforehand it’s going to be crowded because some guy with over 1000 fan base is invited but you still wanted to go, then dont complain! not happy? it’s open door festival, you can walk out anytime and let the rest enjoy the show without you pulling your stupid long face. and to all the hipsters that read this, guess what, your indie music is as popular as electronic music now. so yea that apparently make you all mainstream too. congratulations!! _|_

    • New Nation

      another one bites the dust…

      • ZavierO

        Hey i’m gonna get you too…

    • maisur

      it’s a satire website and you look extremely stupid

  • assmunch

    All Hipsters need to be buried in a deep dark hole in the earth. Oh wait, once the world becomes too mainstream they might just do that themselves. And bring those fixes with you

  • AnnoyedAngmoh

    Totally agree with this article. I didn’t feel the hipster indie spirit at all. Too many people were dancing instead of just standing still. Some were too friendly instead of nose snubbing (with the exception of a few, they reflected the hipster spirit effectively) and some guys with long pants didn’t even cuff them properly – their ankles weren’t even exposed! Spotted a few with low-waisted baggy pants too. What is this? 1999/2000? Organisers should take note.

  • Kenneth Siew

    U bunch of pampered hipsters , stay at home and be hipped. Unless u make me believe u pee in the open and not in the mobile toilets cos this is also cost too. 30 pax concert…Stay home and suck your mama’s then.

    • duh

      dude. it is satire.

      • Kenneth Siew

        Satire to a disgraceful form

        • nike WHOOSH

          dude, nice save. NOT!

  • femmefauxpas

    One stranger smiled at me and I left immediately.

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