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S’pore to be renamed Lee Kuan Yew next year

Posted on 16 November 2013

All roads, streets and common words will be changed to Lee Kuan Yew as well.

lee-kuan-yew

Singapore will be renamed Lee Kuan Yew next year, the United Nations’ council for Countries Undergoing Name Transitions (CUNT) has been told after an application has been filed for a name-change.

Gai Ming Zi, a CUNT spokesperson, said: “Singapore will be called Lee Kuan Yew and Singaporeans will be called Lee Kuan Yewians from 2014.”

This is in line with a recent suggestion to name the national stadium after Lee Kuan Yew.

All who considered this proposition to re-name the stadium thought it makes sense but it didn’t go far enough.

To make a bigger impact on the public’s consciousness, it has been suggested that more words should be changed as well.

Other common words to be changed to Lee Kuan Yew from next year onward include: Sex, left, right, up, down, where, here, is, what, how, you, me, I, your, my, big, small, loud, soft, hard, have, are, were, was and many others.

This is to ensure that all speech by Lee Kuan Yewians in the country of Lee Kuan Yew will sound like this: “Lee Kuan Yew Lee Kuan Yew Lee Kuan Yew Lee Kuan Yew menstruation Lee Kuan Yew finish?”

 

 

 

 

This post was written by:

- who has written 2650 posts on New Nation.

Wang Pei can be considered a new citizen of Singapore. She has been here all her life, just that her environment's changed beyond recognition.

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  • UNKNOWN

    PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISN’T TRUE

    • Benjamin

      now now.. calm yourself, this isn’t true.
      it’s satire in nature.

    • Andrew Tung

      sinkaporians dont know how to tell a joke meh ?

  • !!!!!!

    Hakkkkkpuihhhh…..!!!if its true…nvr would i admit it….

  • random

    it’s kinda rude to someone who puts in blood and sweat into the place you “call” home.. or should i say “called” ?

    • Blue

      He put blood and sweat to build a nation where he can oppress us.

  • …..

    People are god-damned stupid. “OMG is this true?!” fuck u all, seriously?

    • akaawol

      They also assume that council for Countries Undergoing Name Transitions (CUNT) is real too LMAO!

      • seesilia

        some dont even know cunt means vagina, cant blame them for being downright retarded and dumb

        • Andrew Tung

          dont forget we still a clean country sia seesilia.

    • seesilia

      IKR. some ragers not only so dumb and stupid, rage also rage in broken ahlian language, to the extent that even singlish terms also use wrongly. #WOWfactor #extremelyamazed

  • naughtyboi

    Excuse me!!! This is RUDE!!!!!

    • Elf

      The only reason only one person has downvoted your comment is that we are all too lazy to sign up.

    • LEE KUAN GONG

      What rude sia ? People don’t like him alr. We alr gave up hopes on them. The next voting won’t be PAP anymore

  • lynn

    Wtffff..!!!!

    I disagree siaaa…..

    Wtff.. sia…

    Ekk.. y aint lee kuen yeww retiring? ??!!
    He is fckinh old alrsy sia…
    Sinal alrdy…

    Normal sgporen.. age 65? 70??? Kena retired. . Y u still
    Nvr har.. not fair mahh… wah liaooo..

    Kanasai..

  • zzzz

    lol its 50% real news, so take things with a pinch of salt…

  • seesilia

    u ppl are dumb, obv its fake, @ lynn its SENILE not SINAL #best spelling in sg
    and if u wanna rage rage with correct spelling , Fcking* and singaporean* and apparently u dont get the main pt so dont bother to read it r even comment and go back to primary school to learn BASIC english. ppl talking bout sgp becoming lee kuan yew, u talk and rage abt why he isnt retiring. WOW 0 context man (:

    • Retarded

      Stfu pls..you very educated so what? Nobody want to know and pls dont be a bitch here

      • more retarded than you.

        i think that person is wrong to do it, but why bother about her? you are also being no different if you respond to her insults, and she has succeeded. dont entertain such lameass ppl, no use getting yourself worked up over these kinda ppl. u respond, u are implying you are one of those “uneducated” people, are you not?

        • Neutral

          Satirical news serves one purpose, to entertain,not to condone the idea of insulting/putting down our leaders. You cannot honestly say that you have not insulted someone of a higher authority in your whole life as a student or even as an employee at a huge firm. No one is getting worked up,just the exchanging of ideas on an online website.

          Like bewildered said: No harm done

          Human intellect can only bring a country so far. Singaporean-ness is what makes us unique and stand out.

          • more retarded than you

            lol what i meant tht the guy was flaming seesilia, i said dont bother abt her, cuz if he gets worked up over her insults at other ppl @aka lynn, he is falling into her trap, i wasnt referring to the higher authorities. #justtoclarify

    • blasting

      Says the one who can’t spell right.

      • dumb?

        cant spell right? i bet its cuz ur DUMB and cant read properly. go back to pre nursery dumb fuck.

        • Andrew Tung

          shhh dumb ok no …..

    • Prosecutor

      I was wondering what is the purpose of your lowly existence. To become an english nazi?

      • bewildered

        then i’d wonder, what is your existence for? i presume that you might be buttsore about ppl correcting your english before, so you dedicate your lowly life to preying on “english nazis”? btw i dont like them, but i admit my english has improved through embarrassment from these kind of ppl. so, no hurt done ^^

  • seesilia

    and lynn, it’s wtf not wtffffffffffff as there is no such thing as what the fck fck fck fck, speak proper english MAN. what kind of uneducated, uncivilized ah lian are you, only know profane, vulgar, vile and FOUL words. UNCULTURED SWINE. oh wait, i bet u dont even know what im talking abt (:

  • seesilia

    you are retired, you dont KENA retired, #englishfail,singlishalsofail. lost hope in lynn-manity. retiring is a privilege, you look forward to it, you dont KENA it. get your facts right. KENA is smth u dont wanna get into, like eg. i KENA scolded. u no hope sia u. not no hope…….SIA!!!!! #best singlish #best english

    • Andrew Tung

      you dont kena you just karnar.

  • seesilia

    oh ya. and kanasai is WRONG its KENASAI. cuz u KENA. SAI. get shit thrown at you. yet another FAIL singlish. lost hope in lynn-manity. public disgrace too all the lynns. what rotten filth. uncultured swine. GROSS, SICKENING and disgusting. EW. oh the aura of uncultured-ness. i am so gonna die right now oh mah gawddddd.

  • Matthew TheLegend

    troll

  • pfft

    You guys actually think it’s real? I think it’s a troll.

  • Jeremy

    Someone watched the dictator haha

  • ANTI-PAP DOGGIES

    WTF !!!! THIS IS ABSURB MADNESS !!!! OH HELL NO!!!! WHOEVER CAME UP WITH THIS, HE CAN JUST GET KNOCKED DOWN BY THE CAR OR WHATEVER VEHICLE ONCE HE STEPS OUT OF HIS HOUSE!!!

  • BOON TENG

    those who STILL believe this is true.. or any article from new nation to be true only confirms my suspicion that there’re ALOT of stupid Singaporeans around.

  • Captain Obvious

    For retarded ppl who think this is real , the top of the page clearly states 50% real news -.-

  • Yean Pheng Soh

    This is just a joke, ha ha ha ha.

  • shinkami

    “Countries Undergoing Name Transitions” (CUNT) seems legit, very damn legit

  • Pingback: Anonymous

  • Harkness

    And this is funny how ?

  • willy tan

    singaporeans are the dumbest people on earth

    • zzz

      fk u not all stupid

      • Devilz2

        not all la… only the person name willy tan is dumbest on earth coz his no diff from LKY little willy who can’t stand

        • willy tan

          butthurt is it?

          • Trololo

            Can’t have butthurt with a tiny willy.

          • Nona

            wakakakakaka

          • poorman

            Yours hurt, is it? Oh, by the dog……..ha ha!

    • ccb willy tan

      wiily fuck youX1000000Times

      • Andrew Tung

        finished?

    • ccb willy tan

      willy tan u not singaporean?

    • Maximus Torres

      Fuck your mother pass away ahh!!!

      • Andrew Tung

        naughty boy. cannot anyhow………peoples mother.

    • lj wong

      f u m

    • poorman

      It takes all sorts of people to make the world (likewise in Singapore). We have intelligent people too!

  • Mr K

    Go to hell with this,man!!!!?I wont accept this matter…

  • jackass

    If this was true ii would leave singapore the day the name is changed

  • cherrycoke

    What nonsense!!! Must be some FT from china….pig!

  • http://www.facebook.com/tlkho khotl73

    Is this some kind of joke? LOL

    • Benjamin

      yes.

    • CUNTLIANS

      No, my friend works in CUNT,

      • dorky boy

        like?? any vacancy =)

  • Brian Nugawela

    ROFLMAO wicked

  • yewians ftw

    LOL

  • friedchicken

    Retarded CUNT!!!

  • peanis

    i really hope this doesnt happen

  • Jason

    This is lame.

  • Not Lee Kuan Yew

    u bunch of lee kuan yewish lee kuan yews should take a lee kuan yew at the lee kuan yews for lee kuan yew’s lee kuan yewing’s sake!

  • Use your brain please

    LOL, i

  • My friend is a CUNT

    I really think this is real because my friend works in CUNT.

    • Andrew Tung

      cunt you tell it is a joke?

  • concernedSG

    THIS is the very reason why there is a NEED for the internet news control. Too many gullible netizens.

    • dorky boy

      F.U.N………..get it??? duhhhhhhhhh stressssed tooo much eh taking everything seriously…..hilarious article …

  • Watzit Tooya

    HAHAHAHA Cunts

  • x3iKOi

    Want change name ask sgp citizens to vote lah = = like that if alot of sgpreans don’t want change how?

  • Edwin Loh

    Please reconsider it! I don’t mean to be rude here but hey we know that he own this country and because of him we have this ‘home’ (but not anymore!)
    This doesn’t mean we have to change everything under his name to remind us about him till our next generation and continue on! Singapore was a great name and he is out great father to this country! I bet people over the world knows him too! And beside next year we have to change our ways of talking? How about those elderly?! Do they have enough time like us to start learning it over again?! Please spare a thought for us BUT NOT JUST YOU, YOURSELF! PM Lee, we look up upon you but somehow you make us lose confident in you as well! We Singaporean is suffering and you are happily discussing about changing this country but not changing the expenses for us! Are you doing this just for yourself or us?! Or do you really wish that Singaporean gave up hope in you then you will come to your sense to make it right? I don’t mean to be rude but please start by asking what Singaporean really wants!

    • yuza

      i support wat says man…

  • Winnie Yip

    not chinapore meh?!

  • Normal Singaporean

    This is seriously rude! So disrespectful and ungrateful for what Lee kuan yew had done for Singapore! What have Singaporeans become.. This is so sad.

    • SMRT and SBS are the SAME

      There is always a difference between LKY and Mahatma Gandhi. Nelson Mandela is a hero all over the world. Why isn’t LKY? Because he isn’t deserving of that.

  • its singapura

    This is stupid people!!!!because of him very old and how many days in the calender dosent mean need to change our country name!!our countrt is stupid than other weird country !!! Pleasse laaa dont be stupid (CUNT)SOUNDS STUPID AND U PEOPLE ARE STUPID

  • jennifer rasmussen

    this choked me..the cunt was too strong to use…as in lmao..

  • kittyraww

    What a shame.. and damn lame.

  • Junjia Vanessagreensifter

    WTF

  • Shannon

    Not all Singaporeans are dumb and not all of them are as ungrateful as the person who wrote this. I’m not a pro-PAP or pro-government person but at the very least, I’ve learned enough to know that if not for LKY’s foresight and planning, we would be like our neighbouring countries; not as wealthy, not as developed and not as well-managed. The fact that as a lady I can go out late at night alone is already something I am very thankful about.

    • Dannise

      Actually his foresight sucks. If he had said “Stop at three” instead of two, we may not have this aging population problem.

  • Henrik

    Hahahahaha Gai Ming Zi. What a major cunt 😛 a cunt spokesman. Is the best title EVER!! FUCK YOU VICE PRESIDENTS AND CEO’S OUT THERE. THERE IS A NEW TITLE NOW. CUNT!!!

  • YnMae Lee

    omg i thought this was real ,

  • Junjia Vanessagreensifter

    No time to be Lee Kuan Yee-rian

  • Jordan

    Yeah fuck you all retards who actually took the effort to believe that this true. Cause’ obviously, it’s as fake as barbie doll.

  • donovan

    Imma migrating soon

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  • Siti

    I had a good laugh reading this. But when i read the comments, OMG, those who really believe this is true, should not be called Singaporean. Instead they deserved to be referred as Lee Kuan Yewians

    • Andrew Tung

      or Daffians or Loonies or LeeKYians

  • Aladeen

    did someone just copied me?? I am the Aladeen MuthaFucka!! it’s not right that u watched my movie then steal my idea!!

  • LEE KUAN GONG

    Lol! I thought he dead alr. Pls ask your son stop bullying Singaporeans. We suffering sia! Ccb

  • Hareeiharan Mohana Sundram

    Your are spoiling the harmony of nation and it is very rude

  • cheesyR

    Willy tan..oklah i nt smart lah…i ‘stupid’ lah..but ok lah i earn $45k per month..an honour right..ya lor..school cannot teach wealth module..i no degree leh..nitec only. :)

  • Ash

    WTF……….
    Sorry we never will accept the new name.
    We always be called Singaporeans
    That is much more better.

  • beitrik

    “Where do you wanna meet up?”
    “The McDonald’s at Lee Kwan Yew Road!”
    “…. Yeah, which one?”

  • CAI SHEN YE

    Wow, that’s very witty.

  • Angela Leow

    This is in such bad taste!

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  • Zachary Thomas Tan

    I have some Lee Kuan Yew news……… You are HIV : Lee Kuan Yew….

  • Beruang Kutub

    Rubbish. Not only my mouth laugh out loud but my asshole also laugh out loud. What kind of report is this? Or is this just 1 of the “Just For Laugh” segment.

  • Patrick

    How can people post this in facebook and ask is this real? My god where has the brains gone to?

  • Disgusted

    This is written in such poor taste.

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  • Valentino Marcus

    “Countries Undergoing Name Transitions (CUNT)”…CUNT??? Excuse me??? You folks back there must be joking, right???

  • Muhd Faezin (Tiago – Rio 2)

    Fake news!! -_-

  • Rachel

    this is downright rude and disrespectful. not even sure this generation knows what respect and honour is nowadays. This 91 year old man here turned what used to be a shitty country to what it is today and he didn’t have to spend his best years, life, freedom and time just so today we can live the life he never had when he was our age. you can discredit him for all ur pleasure that but unless you have stepped in his shoes as a pioneer and leader of Singapore, back to the days when we were not all glamour and put together, you don’t deserve to be typing mocking statements and articles, making a joke out of his condition all behind your computer screen.

  • Eugenetan

    Sick minds at work here

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