Singaporeans biggest threat to Singapore’s growth

Posted on 25 March 2013

Banking analysts urge government to remove citizens from the island

Two average local people enjoying an afternoon swim at the infinity pool at Marina Bay Sands. Everyone in Singapore lives like that. For sure. Pic stolen from relax.com.sg

Two average local people enjoying an afternoon swim at the infinity pool at Marina Bay Sands. Everyone in Singapore lives like that. For sure. Pic stolen from relax.com.sg

Singapore’s citizens are the biggest threat to national growth, said analysts at Goldman Sachs at an annual wealth conference yesterday, held in Marina Bay Sands.

Speaking at a panel discussion about emerging markets in Asia, the analysts agreed that the increasingly vocal citizenry in the once-orderly island has disrupted economic growth for 2013 and will continue to be a drag on the economy for years to come.

“Let’s be honest here. Does Singapore need Singaporeans? No. The children are taken care off by foreign domestic helpers, the hawkers are Malaysian, the buildings are constructed by Bangladeshis. All Singaporeans are good for are populating the army, which has never gone to war!” said emerging markets specialist, Thomas Money.

Money pointed out that Singapore’s only comparative advantages against its competitors were location, and immigrants. He proposed slowly phasing out Singaporeans so they would be unable to interfere with pro-growth government policies.

“I love the country, but I really can’t stand the people and their disgraceful sense of entitlement. The weather’s great, the gastronomy scene is livening up in Marina Bay Sands, and the women are gorgeous. But the xenophobia on the island is extremely troubling. Without foreigners like myself who bring in capital without paying taxes, Singapore would not be where it is today. And no Singaporean ever thanks us for gracing their backwater island with our presence and cash.”

“If things don’t improve, I might just pack up and leave.”

Other analysts on the panel also noted that as Singapore grew at an astronomical pace under a soft-authoritarian regime, the only way to preserve the country’s economy, is to regress democratically.

“I’m quite ashamed of Singaporeans too,” said commodities specialist Chao Hee Lang who is a local and a weekend volunteer at a migrant workers NGO. “All this xenophobia and hatred… No wonder Lee Kuan Yew once said that only educated people should be able to vote. People like myself, who can see that freedom is not always a good thing.”

“God bless the foreign workers. Without them working at ridiculously low wages, we would never get anything done. And yet, no one is grateful to them for doing us a favour!”

The panel discussion was chaired by Acting Ministry for Economic Affairs, Mr Jin Jue Lui who reassured the audience that the government was already working on a plan to reduce the proportion of native citizens in the population to about 50% by 2030.

This post was written by:

- who has written 268 posts on New Nation.

Joey is an intern at New Nation. He hopes to be as funny as Belmont one day and get laid at least twice a month.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/ku.kucu.7 Ku Kucu

    Always love Mr. Jin Jue Lui

  • Me

    ‘Biggest threat to national growth’ not ‘biggest threat to national grown”!

  • cantunderstandallthisbullshit

    Wat a joke

  • aaa

    i stopped reading at ‘said analysts at goldman sachs’.
    Bunch of greedy unethical wolves.

    • http://www.visakanv.com/ Visakan Veerasamy

      I think you stopped reading around age 12

      • aaa

        Very classy Visakan, verbally attacking another person on the internet. Looking at your webpage, i wouldnt have expected anything more from you. Keep it classly.

        • New Nation

          You suck

        • Guest

          CLASSLY CLASSLY CLASSLY CLASSLY CLASSLY CLASSLY CLASSLY CLASSLY CLASSLY CLASSLY CLASSLY CLASSLY

  • FM

    Can the said person please please pack and go!!!!! Along with the non Singaporeans by origin!!!!

    • Sign Ashman Chen

      ^MORON!!!!

    • KAOTUTIN

      HOY FM Cannot lah chicken rice is good lah…

  • slashsarcasm

    3 of the commenters before this need to be banned from voting.

  • MIGORENG

    WHERE ARE THOSE FCUKING HOMO RETARDS WHO HATES FOREIGNERS?!

  • http://www.facebook.com/william.weiz William Low

    I think that all you MFs are the biggest threat to our internal security. What is funny is that you urge our government to get the F**K out of their own country now and they can still act like it’s a good idea, this is rude and disappointing.

  • Jollipeth

    its the truth so hard to accept?….then just die

  • sg_research

    Awesome article!!! finally the sarcasm bites so deep, it is almost true!

  • OMG

    HELLO to BULLY BOYS specially to Renren the giant, Harold the poop master, Kaokao the carabao, St. George, Father, Leeroy Leeroy Sinta, Uncle Metak (respeti), Kitchen master, Erik the pogi, kirbugoy, Adrian Bin Laden, Elman the Google, Happy Japs, Don Gago!!, Regie paki rape, Jovs, Master Jay, Abe <–cute one…, Xtan Almazan, Dale the Bachelor degree holder…., Jof kano to pre'…, BAYAW KIM, Tamil master, Julius the baker..,

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  • moonshine

    Only people who’s grandparents (both!!) were born in SG, have some right to bitch about foreigners… The rest are just foreigners like the rest of us…. Just lazier…

  • ForeignTalentsAreRubbish

    LOL low pay?! please compare how much they earn here and how much they earn in their country you consider them having low pay?! This is making me laugh!!

    • zzz

      I think by saying low pay, its either compared to Singaporean/PR. you cant compare to what they earn in their home country since living cost itself is much higher here. And please, not all foreign talents are rubbish. I have many friends who are well educated, gained their Master Degrees from UK/US and decided to settle down here in Singapore (although their pay is not the best that offered to them), simply just because they love the country. So yeah, I personally think, they do contribute and sure they are not rubbish.

  • Kenny

    so.. at which point does someone realize that this is a satire piece…? morons.

  • Pixie

    My husband’s contract has been terminated prematurely . Had 18 beautiful years here. Loved it and will cherish it. Just wish we did not have to leave. He is 59 and just got into that bracket where it is very difficult to get reemployed. Sad.

  • Davizz

    Funny how people can get so worked up by a fictional story:

    Market Specialist: Thomas Money? To Mass Money
    Commodities Specialist Chao Hee Lang? What’s his name in Hokkien?
    Acting Ministry for Economic Affairs, Mr Jin Jue Lui? Where got such appointment and what’s his name in Hokkien again?

  • Bryan

    Not sure if you guys are just trolling or just plain ignorant. This news is false, mr brown is mr jin jue lui and in Singapore there is no Ministry for Economic Affairs rofl (check the list of ministries at http://www.sgdi.gov.sg/). This is why Singaporeans are a threat to Singapore’s growth cuz all of you complaining about this article are just plain retarded. Herp derp I can’t use google to differentiate fact from fiction.

  • ChinksCan’tSee

    You fucking suck at writing.

  • ChinksCan’tSee

    And you chinese fucks need to go kill yourself.

    • destroyevil

      I am sure you mean those fuckers in India that gang-raped fuck a poor girl until she died a horrible death. Only the most evil and trash of the world is capable of committing such a evil crime.

    • Destroyevil

      I am sure you mean those fuckers in India that gang-raped fuck a poor
      girl until she died a horrible death. Only the most evil and trash of
      the world is capable of committing such a evil crime.

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  • Tanay

    Lol – “The panel discussion was chaired by Acting Ministry for Economic Affairs, Mr Jin Jue Lui who reassured the audience that the government was already working on a plan to reduce the proportion of native citizens in the population to about 50% by 2030.” – oh… wait a min.

  • ken

    actually i fully agree with the article (despite the sarcasm). Singaporeans need to grow up, seriously. And I’m sorry, the “educated” Singaporeans are the ones who think they are too damn smart just because they are educated. Going to school and getting a degree doesnt make you smart and able to see things.
    btw, im not too sure if Goldman gets to sue the author for abusing their name. not good with law.

  • http://mithunonthe.net/ Mithun Divakaran

    “Without foreigners like myself who bring in capital without paying taxes, Singapore would not be where it is today”

    LOL! Take the hint xenophobes!

  • http://twitter.com/shobss Shobhasri Raghavan

    Is this article a joke?

    • http://twitter.com/shobss Shobhasri Raghavan

      Err it is obviously… :-p

  • All are migrants

    But the first and basic question to ask is, who are the Singaporeans which the PM refers to as locals. But the reality is that all are migrants and the difference among them is merely their time of arrival, some during the Straits Settlement days, many after the 2nd WW and even more from Malaya and recently from Malaysia , China and all over the world. Many young people are 1st or2nd generation migrants of parents who migrated from Malaya or Malaysia. So which group of migrants can claim themselves to be Singaporeans. What is the cut off date that determines ones qualification and right to be called Singaporeans or locals. And who determines it to the exclusion of migrants from China. If time of arrival determines your qualification to be called locals, would you then not agree that the earliest migrant arrivals , which are the Malays, should be the only ones to be referred to as the true Singaporeans to the exclusion of all others. Maybe we could include those migrants that came during the British STraits Settlement days.
    My point is how on earth can these ‘Singaporeans’ think they are Singaporeans or more Singaporeans and all new migrants are not. Ask the Malays and they will laugh at such thought and presumption.
    iChat

    • Retribution

      @ All are migrants- Singaporeans, their families and generations of relatives made countless sacrifices, even the ultimate sacrifice, to do national service and reservists to keep security and protect Singapore so that Singapore can prosper and grow to what it is today. New immigrants and their relatives and their generations of relatives did not make the sacrifices. Selfish and greedy new immigrants are here for the benefits only and want non of the sacrifices. They are bunch of free loaders parasites. So don’t you ever dare compare your stupid, selfish, self serving and ungrateful kind to the true-blue Singaporeans. The dead NS men and reservists and their families who have suffered so much will curse you forever.

    • Retributions

      Singaporeans, their families and generations of relatives made countless
      sacrifices, even the ultimate sacrifice, to do national service and
      reservists to keep security and protect Singapore so that Singapore can
      prosper and grow to what it is today. New immigrants and their
      relatives and their generations of relatives did not make the
      sacrifices. Selfish and greedy new immigrants are here for the benefits
      only and want non of the sacrifices. They are bunch of free loaders
      parasites. So don’t you ever dare compare your stupid, selfish, self
      serving and ungrateful kind to the true-blue Singaporeans. The dead NS
      men and reservists and their families who have suffered so much will
      curse you forever.

      • All are migrants

        Looks like some Chinese think they are more Singaporeans than other Chinese or other new migrants. New migrants might not be responsible for the past historical development of Singapore but they are certainly contributing now by their capital, skill and talent. And how can they be in NS when they are merely PRs. All earlier migrants also started as PRs. Don’t worry about all that, their children will soon be required to join NS just like you, a ‘true blue patriot’.
        And what free loaders are you talking about.What significant benefits do they get. Do they get housing subsidies, children allowances, unemployment allowances, school and university concessions , public housing rental concession, senior benefits, even pension for the age ,etc etc like in Australia .What big handout do they get that you can accuse them of being freeloaders. Might as well they go to Australia but they chose Singapore instead and get insulted. Just in case you are not aware, thousands of Singapore true blue locals are residing in Australia and many as a way to avoid NS for their children and many holding dual citizenship. You should question them instead of new migrants to Singapore.
        Lets not be discriminatory to recent migrants.They will be older migrants soon like others. All Singaporeans are MIGRANTS and our parents at different point in time in Singapore’s history were once new comers or new migrants and adjusting to new environment and local culture, lifestyle and behaviour takes time. Ask your parents or grandparents.

        • Go

          @6dd696f673544dcf2c95c484734deb03:disqus Go to Australia and pay high taxes if Singapore’s low tax rate is not a benefit. Oh you have not experienced the brand of racism in Australia? High cost of living? High A$.

          Precisely what I am referring to -greedy, selfish and self-serving and no-guts new immigrants and PRs keep demanding for the shared benefits but want non of the shared sacrifices. And they do find all the tricks in the book to escape NS for themselves and their children ie. not registering their male child as a PR, spouse keeps foreign citizenship, when it is time to do NS the whole family moves somewhere else. Scheming, greedy and selfish and parasitic free-loaders.

          You obviously do not qualify to be a PR/citizen in Australia given that you have chosen to come to Singapore which welcome all kinds including those with fake qualifications and skills.

          Go, please do us and yourself a fuc-king favour -GO BACK TO WHERE YOU BELONG and enjoy for all the benefits that you are entitled to IN YOUR OWN COUNTRY.

          • All are migrants

            You are obviously getting all mixed up.I am not favouring migration to any country but merely pointing out that many ‘true blue Singaporeans local natives ‘by the thousands are residing in Australia .Should you not be angry against the attempt of many of them to avoid NS for their children and not making sacrifices you are so worked out about . Also why don’t you question their loyalty to Singapore when they illegally hold dual citizenship to enjoy benefits of both countries. Yes many return to Singapore but still hang on to their dual citizenship as an ‘insurance , Funny thing is that many of these ‘ very loyal’ dual citizens are also most vocals against recent migrants . Be worked up by this before you question new migrants. Address this issue first.
            By the way, racists exist everywhere, in every country, in many forms, and very often in the form of ‘ they against us, or just ranting against the outsiders or recent comers who maybe of different race or culture.
            Also unless your great grand parents or at least your grand parents were born in Singapore, don’t make yourself more Singaporeans or native than others. We are all migrants, and yes we are all proud Singaporeans, We are a people of many nations and on the way to be a melting pot of cultures like NewYork. Be big hearted and embrace it, because there lies our hope,future and prosperity.

            many nations and cultures

          • All are migrants

            And by the way, don’t confuse lower taxes as a free hand out to migrants. It’s an economic incentive to attract capital, investment, skills and talents. It’s not some kind of free payment for free loaders. You are confused and want to have the cake and eat it too. Every country use some kind of incentives to attract capital, investment and skills.

          • All are migrants

            Your ranting of “GO BACK TO WHERE YOU BELONG” is just a racist rant no different from some racists in Australia. Your free use of the vulgar 4 letter word is shameful and unbecoming someone who claims to be ‘true blue Singaporean’ We are all migrants. Just accept the reality that Singapore is city of migrants (new and old) and a great city. Don’t demean it with your ranting and uncouth vulgar language.

  • Majulah Singapura

    This fu_king fake news is written by a mother-fu_king joker

  • Majulah Singapura

    The police, immigration authorities, ICA, ISA, MCA, even Goldman Sachs, must investigate immediately the background and the motive of this fake news writer/fake journalist before he/she creates problems for Singapore. Not only is this person insulting and disrespectful to Singaporeans and Singapore ministers, he/she is creating hatred and disharmony between Singaporeans and foreigners/foreign multi-national companies like Goldman Sachs.

  • Majulah Singapura

    The police, immigration authorities, ICA and ISA, MCA, even Goldman Sachs, must investigate the background and the motive of this fake news writer/fake journalist before he/she creates problems for Singapore. Not only is this person insulting and disrespectful to Singaporeans and Singapore ministers, he/she is creating hatred and disharmony between Singaporeans and foreigners/foreign multi-national companies like Goldman Sachs.

    • Dun B Thicke

      You are seriously too dumb to comment here.Ever heard of satire??

  • Majulah Singapura

    The police, immigration authorities, ICA and ISA, MCA, even Goldman Sachs, must investigate the background and the motive of this fake news writer/fake journalist before he/she creates problems for Singapore. Not only is this person insulting and disrespectful to Singaporeans and Singapore ministers, he/she is creating hatred and disharmony between Singaporeans and foreigners/foreign multi-national companies like Goldman Sachs.

  • http://twitter.com/jsim1818 jsim

    The police, immigration authorities, ICA and ISA, MCA, even Goldman Sachs, must investigate the background and the motive of this fake news writer/fake journalist before he/she creates problems for Singapore. Not only is this person insulting and disrespectful to Singaporeans and Singapore ministers, he/she is creating hatred and disharmony between Singaporeans and foreigners/foreign multi-national companies like Goldman Sachs.

  • http://twitter.com/jsim1818 jsim

    This fake journalist is fanning hatred which may create social chaos. Where is the police, the ISA, ICA, MCA?

  • http://twitter.com/jsim1818 jsim

    The police, immigration authorities, ICA and ISA, MCA, even Goldman Sachs, must investigate the background and the motive of this fake news writer/fake journalist before he/she creates problems for Singapore. Not only is this person insulting and disrespectful to Singaporeans and Singapore ministers, he/she is creating hatred and disharmony between Singaporeans and foreigners/foreign multi-national companies like Goldman Sachs.

  • http://twitter.com/jsim1818 jsim

    The police, immigration authorities, ICA and ISA, MCA, even Goldman Sachs, must investigate the background and the motive of this fake news writer/fake journalist before he/she creates problems for Singapore. Not only is this person insulting and disrespectful to Singaporeans and Singapore ministers, he/she is creating hatred and disharmony between Singaporeans and foreigners/foreign multi-national companies like Goldman Sachs.

    To: The fake journalist of this fake news
    You fake journalist Joey Tan has no fuc_ing balls. Why do you keep deleting my posts? If you remove my post again, I will posts this message on facebook, twitter, youtube so that every Singaporean and the authorities will know what a trouble maker you are.

  • Goldpeople

    Goldman Sachs should sue this bugger.

  • GMB

    OMG, if only this was real….so so true!

  • RedDog

    It’s a funny satire piece because it’s 90%+ true.

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  • Jim

    Not everyone realize this article is meant to be a satire or a joke. As it is a sensitive national issue involving Singaporeans, it should be written truthfully to be respected.

  • BeGrateful

    why so much hatred….so easy to make u all fight…

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  • True blue singaporeans

    This is just a opposition website and with opposition pple trying to act as foriegners to stir up hatred. Very soon singapore economy corks up and every die, and our inflated salart become same as india and china when no MNC trust us any longer, they will shift out and say: “Why pay singaporeans such high salaries when we can relocated to india and pay them 25% of current amount only. and the NUS economic professor prediction that our inflated salary will drop to 1.2k from 5k a month when the whole world stop trusting our govt and system when the day opposition take over. it shall be the end of singapore story

    • Amelican

      Bingo

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  • Random Foreigner

    Meant as satire but much more fact than fiction. Classic!

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  • Simple As That

    Any one agree with these 2 or 3 commenters are mad. These 2 or 3 commenters should be expell from Singapore i

  • Truth Is Simple

    EXCELLENT!

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