Sticker Lady nabbed, Singapore averts disaster

Posted on 05 June 2012

Illegal pasting of stickers at pedestrian crossings could have led to social unrests.

At Maxwell Road earlier this year.

A 25-year-old woman, dubbed as the “Sticker Lady”, has been arrested for creating street art.

Her offence? Pasting stickers with local sayings such as “Anyhow paste kena fine” and “No need to press so many times” at various pedestrian crossings and spray-painting “My Grandfather Road” on the ground owned by the government.

Outside Red Dot Museum within Tanjong Pagar GRC area.

A source familiar with the case and who would only speak on the condition of anonymity, said spray-painting the words “My Grandfather Road” on the streets is a serious offence as it is tantamount to provoking a citizen-led revolution.

The anonymous source said: “People cannot claim ownership of anything in Singapore. Once you awaken that sentiment, Singaporeans might take the next step and demand ownership of HDB flats on a freehold basis.”

Moreover, one of the major reasons the stickers cannot be condoned is because there is a possibility they might cause Singaporeans to imagine they have a sense of humour.

Annie Hou Seh, a student, said: “If Singaporeans appear to have loosened up, they might vote Towards A First World Parliament.”

But this will only be the start of Singapore’s problems.

As the stickers and spray-paint are not bilingual, their presence will cause mainland Chinese who have just moved into Singapore to feel ostracised.

And they might get angry and start shouting even louder.

“The vandal could have gotten away with it if she spray-painted and pasted stickers in English and Mandarin,” said 21-year-old new citizen, Shuo Hua Wen.

This explains why there is a need to impose a serious penalty. If found guilty, the woman can face a maximum $2,000 fine or three years in jail.

However, she will be spared caning as she does not have scrotum.

With such tough sentences, Singaporeans are reminded that there are other things to do that warrant a lighter sentence.

“For example, if you abuse your maid or if she falls out the window, the sentence will still be lighter,” a prominent criminal lawyer, Subananananananana said.

In case you're wondering, who the real Grandfather is...

This post was written by:

- who has written 2685 posts on New Nation.

Wang Pei can be considered a new citizen of Singapore. She has been here all her life, just that her environment's changed beyond recognition.

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  • Nicole Zhenyi

    I don’t know who wrote this but “Illegal pasting of stickers at pedestrian crossings could have led to social unrests.” hahaha what is this shit? I don’t even want to argue with you.

    Have a good day.

    • Nixredew2

      It’s called….. wait for it…….. Sarcasm.

    • Belmont

      I also don’t want to argue with you! Hahahahahaha

    • Prometheus_3052

      Erm….its a joke. There’s nothing to argue about. Thankfully you dont have a sense of humour or it’ll get dangerous.

    • http://www.visakanv.com/blog Visakan V

      Dear Nicole:

      (Nobody else wants to argue with you either :P)

      • http://twitter.com/ymala1 Yasir Alam

         That picture is gold. Love the dazed expression on the whooshee’s head.

    • Fish_G

      The moment you pressed “Post”, you erased every single doubt that you haven’t any.

      Any what, you ask? I wasn’t really talking to you, Nicole Zhenyi.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/7LPXP7MIOYYJ5UARF3IMD3BJCQ Gail

      … Someone obviously needs to attend a class or two on satire. You from the Motherland issit? Can’t see the joke? 

    • Sghunk1976

      How are there so many stupid people in Singapore?!?!? I really don’t get it.

  • Anonymous

     Hahahaha Nicole Zhenyi, you must be new. Great article, by the way.

  • Abcd

    LOL must the government own EVERYTHING..??? psshh really, who cares if people paste simple stickers on things. It’s JUST SIMPLY for HUMOUR. :/ so is this what sg’s government is showing to foreigners ; “no humour, please.” srsly wth haha XD

  • http://litford.net/ brian

    Oh Nicole, you know what they say about Flamebait. KILL IT WITH FIRE.

  • Jamie

    HAHA THIS IS EXCELLENT. so true!

  • Anonymous

    She will be sparred canning as she does not have scrotum? LOL

    • http://twitter.com/ymala1 Yasir Alam

       Yeah, that made me laugh… then cringe *ouch

  • http://www.facebook.com/ezra.d.lee Ezra David Lee

    this “news article” is satirical in nature right? please tell me it is :/

    • Trusaderangler

      from the names of interviewees: Annie Hou Seh, Shuo Hua Wen, you cant catch it???*facepalm

    • Trusaderangler

      & the title of this website is: “Newnation 50% real news” tells it all

    • Sghunk1976

      Is this REALLY not obvious enough??

      • http://www.facebook.com/ezra.d.lee Ezra David Lee

        i’m sorry i just skimmed through it didn’t really notice the “newnation 50%” or the “annie hou seh”. 

  • Hah

    Subanananananana. LOL

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  • Fish_G

    “One of the major reasons the stickers cannot be condoned is because there is a possibility they might cause Singaporeans to imagine they have a sense of humour.”

    This would be a severe problem, except when it came time to use stickers to explain the next rash of MRT breakdowns, even as Nicole Zhenyi stepped aboard.

  • http://www.thecomedypimp.com.sg/comedy.htm Thecomedypimp

    Actually Singaporeans DO have a sense of humour and joke about current affairs every Thursday @ Blu Jaz nr Arab Street: https://www.facebook.com/FightComicSingapore. Singapore’s first improvised comedy slam. $10 entry. Doors open @ 8pm. Fight starts @ 9pm.

    • Shihan

      Wahhh….competition for Comedy Masala..Great! 

  • Ravioli10

    “The vandal could have gotten away with it if she spray-painted and pasted stickers in English and Mandarin,” said 21-year-old new citizen, Shuo Hua Wen.
    Shuo Hua Wen, as a new citizen, but i’m sure not new to Singapore (otherwise what folly it would have been to make you citizen), i’m sure you must have noticed all our road signs are in English. And vandalism is vandalism, although my heart does go out to Sticker Lady. But it wouldn’t have made a diff if she pasted bilingual stickers. I guess you’re not the sharpest tool in the shed huh? Or should i translate that for you in Chinese too??

    • Limbu

      My dear, I’m not sure if you’re as sharp either. Clearly “shuo hua wen” is a fictional character and that statement was fabricated for pure satirical purposes. Isn’t the name “shuo hua wen” (meaning ‘speak chinese’) a dead giveaway?

  • Asf

    George Yeo’s political sticker campaign can pass. Nice! Loan shark paste ups with phone number can scoot free Nice! Drive and kill pedestrian only 1 week jail. Now Sam or Sticker Lady the nation calls her might get 3 yrs in jail!!!! Huat ar gahmen!

  • lpek

    I LOVE this part:
    A source familiar with the case and who would only speak on the
    condition of anonymity, said spray-painting the words “My Grandfather
    Road” on the streets is a serious offence as it is tantamount to
    provoking a citizen-led revolution.

    The anonymous source said: “People cannot claim ownership of anything
    in Singapore. Once you awaken that sentiment, Singaporeans might take
    the next step and demand ownership of HDB flats on a freehold basis.”
    total silent lol-ing in the office

  • Asriale Kuma

    “As the stickers and spray-paint are not bilingual, their presence will cause mainland Chinese who have just moved into Singapore to feel ostracised.”

    WTF is this shit. They should learn our common language, English, instead of us having to bend to their requirements. they’re the guests! so should we also paint the thing in tamil etc?

    • http://twitter.com/ymala1 Yasir Alam

       Satire friend, satire.

    • Sghunk1976

      Wow. How dense are you?

    • http://www.visakanv.com/ Visakan Veerasamy

      I shouldn’t have to repeat myself, but…

    • sassy_ct

      You… have got to be kidding me…

  • Sdf

    A full pardon is the only logical end for the nation’s unnamed champion of creativity. 

  • Guest

    Should punish her according to the law!

  • guest37

    i think the fact that there are quite a number of people unhappy with this post, it just proves this quote “there is a possibility they might cause Singaporeans to imagine they have a sense of humour.” is quite true.

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  • Dementress

    Come on 90% of the post is sarcastic.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1010610604 Jing Jie Tan

    Give us 10 more years, and we can tell people to STFU about bilingual issues, because by then, the only people who don’t understand English would be the ones who don’t belong 😀

  • Farhanj8

    The article has so much win. But wait. The comments are even better! Lol

  • Rae_lim

    Are you Singaporean? Because if you were, you would have understood that “the sticker lady” was not trying to “take ownership of anything”. She was just trying to put a play on our Singapore local phrases. If you aren’t local and you just moved here, try and get with the program.

  • Ed

    Now you’ve just highlighted another major national issue. Singaporeans not only need to go purchase some sense of humour, we also need the understand the simple nature of sarcasm. Can’t believe there are actually people who are taking this wayy too seriously. I don’t wanna live on this planet anymore!

  • Jeemee G

    Seriously anyone who tries to argue about this article, needs to be spanked

  • mikethebike

    this is pure and total VANDALISM. how dare this female deface my governments property with bad grammar…? ‘my grandfather road’? 
    my government is pure as white as the clothes on their backs.
    i say we cut off her hands and gouge out her eyes..to put and end to her ‘artful’ endeavours.

  • Crazioleme

    HAHAHA this is a fantastic entry. kudos to you! made me laugh so hard. i wanna buy those stickers! oh wait, no i wanna burn them. 

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  • pussywagon

    HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA WHY MSM CANT REPORT LIKE THIS?????

  • Kim8999

    I seriously love the last para on how abusing maids gets lighter sentence by subananana.. Hahaha.. Damn funny!!! This article is witty

  • Kim8999

    Oh man I jus finished reading the comments.. The comments are funnier!!!! Some ppl are just looking for a fight, this nation is too serious.

  • Littlefinger

    [“For example, if you abuse your maid or if she falls out the window, the sentence will still be lighter,” a prominent criminal lawyer, Subananananananana said.]
    Is this author credible? I believe a name such as ”
    Subananananananana” doesn exist. Am I the only one who spot this error? Anyway, if its real, how does his friends know how many “na” he has in his name? Or is it a typo error? I recommend the edit team to look into this, so this article can be more accurate…

    • Lomo Inc

      Wanna know why there is so many nananananana? Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCkerYMffMo 

      I hope your comment spells sarcasm.. If otherwise, this is a repeated line: “this whole article is a satirical writing” geddit geddit geddit.. 

  • Anonymous

    what! no caning because of no scrotum or because she has a womb? trolled

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Siva-Kumaran/621381957 Siva Kumaran

    welcome to the stupidity of singapore…  

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  • Guest of ??

    If this sticker lady has to be fined, then why are not all those posters by HDB housing agents asking for rental rooms etc that are stuck all over the bus stops, all over HDB places and into post boxes causing huge spat of littering all over?

  • http://twitter.com/jasonscliew Jason Liew 廖颂成

    50% real news.
    Go figure.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=555218215 Mike Wong

    touché
     

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  • Nananana

    amazing amount of stupid people here hahaha… why can’t they understand the joke, satire / underlying subtle funniest of this article. TF. 

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