Photo offers convincing proof that foreigners are invading Singapore

Posted on 05 April 2012

Surveillance photo taken by an NS recruit.

A startling photo has been deemed by the Singapore government as proof that foreigners are invading the country, years after ignoring repeated warnings from citizens and experts in the field.

The peculiar image, taken in Orchard Road, shows a rotund man in what appears to be a military fatigue resembling that worn by Chairman Mao, the revolutionary leader of China.

Experts who studied the photo have raised the alarm bells, imploring the government to finally take action after months of burying their head in the sand.

“They are everywhere, attacking our buses, driving on our roads and engaging in reckless Grand Theft Auto-like killing sprees,” said Dr Matthias De Silva, a Total Defense Propagandist at the Singapore Armed Forces and lecturer at an obscure private university.

“It further confirms our theory all this while — that the enemy has infiltrated our land, yet our National Service dominated Army couldn’t care less.”

According to sources, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong said in a closed door meeting that this latest evidence is “incontrovertible”, and demanded that a task force be set up to investigate methods to repeal the invaders.

Some ideas that have been mooted include punishing entrepreneurs for hiring too many foreigners in the past, and penalizing universities and their student cronies for harboring ASEAN scholars in their halls.

Dr De Silva has been raising serious concerns since 2008, when the number of loud-mouth and brash Chinamen in MRT trains began rising ever so inconspicuously, month after month.

He declined to say which ministers he has spoken to, but he was thoroughly ignored by all of them.

One particular minister, he says, went on “some nonsense about Lanfang Republic and all such shit”, giving him a lecture on how Singapore can survive as long as we learn from failed city states.

“No one gives me a lecture but me. I suspect he was smoking weed,” he adds.

It wasn’t only people in academia that have been imploring the government to take action.

Singaporeans of all stripes have been complaining on forums and social networks about how foreigners are ravaging the economy, stealing their jobs, and robbing them in broad daylight.

Yet past statements by the government suggests that while they saw the undesirable trend, they looked past it entirely.

“They’re not invaders trying to rob us, they’re productive workers giving back to the economy,” said Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong at a New Citizen induction ceremony just last month.

This latest about turn has surprised many, but Dr De Silva calls it “better late than never.”

Slated to be included in the task force  now are luminaries like Jack Neo, who in his visionary movies have long hinted at the parasitic nature of foreigners on Singapore, and former SMRT CEO Saw Phaik Hwa, whose previous experience gave her special insight on how foreigners behave on trains.

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Elizabeth is the lifestyle writer for New Nation. She enjoys obscure indie films and music no one understands and has a tendency to pepper celebs with inane questions using a fake Angmoh accent. She has a dislike for Jack Neo films (and all mainstream fare).

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